Archive for January, 2012
Tuesday, January 31st, 2012
Bill Clinton nemesis Dan Burton is finally retiring. Good riddance!
The Republican Indiana Congressman, who fathered an out-of-wedlock son, was famed for his anti-Bill Clinton vendetta, his Vincent-Foster-was- murdered obsession, and his backyard Foster-shooting “re-enactment.”
Burton was at his most famous in the 1990’s, when he led many of the investigations against President Bill Clinton. “If I could prove 10 percent of what I believe happened, he’d [Clinton] be gone,” Burton declared in 1998. “This guy’s a scumbag. That’s why I’m after him.”
His campaigns against Clinton began in full force when he delivered a House speech in which he alleged that Deputy White House Counsel Vince Foster, whose death was ruled a suicide, was actually murdered and his body moved to Fort Marcy Park in northern Virginia.
Buh-Bye Dan Burton (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
At long last, we are closing the curtain
On the slanderous reign of Dan Burton.
His witch-hunt campaigns
To put Clinton in chains
Mean that Dems shall not miss him — that’s certain!
Tags: Bill Clinton, Congress Humor, Dan Burton, Impeachment, Indiana, Vincent Foster
Posted in Bill Clinton, Congress Humor, Dan Burton, GOP Humor, House Satire, Hypocrisy Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Wingnuts | 4 Comments »
Monday, January 30th, 2012
I never thought I’d say this, but please listen to Sarah Palin:
Sarah Palin still hasn’t officially endorsed Newt Gingrich, but she’s making it increasingly clear that she’s pulling for the former House speaker to continue to cause headaches for Mitt Romney.
Her latest bumper-sticker-ready pitch to Republican voters: “Vote for Newt, annoy a liberal.”
Listen To Palin and Annoy Me, Please! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Annoy Lib’rals, vote Newt — that’s the pitch
That Palin is spouting. How rich!
We’d delight in a Newt
V. Barack race, and root
For Mitt Romney to suffer that glitch.
Tags: Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Liberals, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Sarah Palin, Voting Limerick
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Sarah Palin, Voting Satire | 3 Comments »
Monday, January 30th, 2012
Some Republicans are worried they’ll be saddled with a brokered convention. And Newt Gingrich’s statement is upping their anxiety:
With just one full day of campaigning left until the Florida primary and polls indicating that Mitt Romney has substantially widened his lead in the Sunshine State, Newt Gingrich told reporters Sunday he is prepared to fight out the Republican presidential nomination all the way to a brokered convention.
“We have no evidence yet that Romney anywhere is coming close to getting a majority and I think when you take all the non-Romney votes, it’s very likely that at the convention there will be a non-Romney majority and maybe a very substantial one. My job is to convert that into a Gingrich majority,” Gingrich said.
Brokered Convention Blues (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The thought of a brokered convention
Is creating Republican tension:
Will Mitt’s delegate count
Sufficiently mount
If Newt nixes a prez run suspension?
Tags: Brokered Convention, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Presidential Campaign, Republicans Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 5 Comments »
Thursday, January 26th, 2012
With the powers-that-be on the right hitting Gingrich hard, he’s surely in the market for endorsements. But I suspect Newt could do without imprisoned, former Rep. Randy “Duke” Cunningham’s stamp of approval:
Cunningham tells Gingrich in an electronic message he says he sent to the candidate last month that his fellow prisoners, and their families, support Gingrich:
“Newt, a voice out of the past. Down but not out and still fighting. First I do not want anything from you but have been watching the debates. I have 80% of inmates that would vote for you. They might not be able to but their extended families will.”
Newt’s Endorsement Blues (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Newt Gingrich, endorsed by a Duke:
From Duke Cunningham — praise not rebuke.
The imprisoned ex-Rep
Endorsed Newt with great pep—
One old colleague Newt doesn’t make puke!
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Endorsements Humor, Newt Gingrich, Randy Duke Cunningham
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Thursday, January 26th, 2012
I can’t decide whether naming Santorum’s fund-raising appeal Conservatives United Moneybomb is stupid … or brilliant. Either way, it’s bringing in a scary amount of money.
Rick Santorum’s Acronym Antics (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Choosing acronyms tends to be tricky,
And it’s wise to be cautious and picky.
But Rick’s fundraising C.U.M.
Has raised a huge sum!
Rick Santorum, on Google, still icky!
Tags: Campaign Humor, Conservatives United Moneybomb, CUM, Election Satire, Fund Raising, Rick Santorum
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | Comments Off on Rick Santorum’s Acronym Antics (Limerick)
Wednesday, January 25th, 2012
According to Newt Gingrich, his serial wife-cheating makes him “normal,” better able to relate to the problems of average people, and more electable. You’ve got to give that fellow Brownie-points for creativity. Who else could turn multiple affairs into a plus?
In an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network this afternoon, Newt Gingrich picked up Rick Perry’s torch in the so-called “war on religion,” promising that he would fight back against judges who are “trying to drive God out of life.” The thrice-married Speaker then defended his personal marital history, claiming his multiple affairs “make me more normal than somebody who wanders around seeming perfect” because he can understand “the human condition and challenges of life for normal people.”
Limerick Ode To “Normal” Newt Gingrich
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My affairs make me “normal,” says Newt.
As defenses go, Newt’s is a beaut:
Seems perfection is bad,
And unless you’re a cad,
Your empathy skills are minute.
Tags: Affairs, Campaign Satire, CBN, Christian Broadcasting Network, Electability, Election Humor, Empathy, God, Infidelity, Newt Gingrich, Religion Humor, Speaker
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Excuses Satire, Family Values Humor, GOP Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Religious Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To “Normal” Newt Gingrich
Tuesday, January 24th, 2012
Newt Gingrich seemed way off his game at last night’s Florida debate. And at first, I attributed this to Mitt Romney’s new, improved debating style.
But Newt apparently needs the adrenalin rush that comes with cheers and applause. And last night’s NBC debate rules precluded such a rush: Audience feedback was limited, in the interest of using the time for actual debating.
So now Newt (always on the outlook for another excuse to bash the media) is petulantly threatening to boycott any debate that limits the audience’s free speech:
Mr. Gingrich’s performance in the debate in Tampa on Monday night was far more muted. Critics noted that he seemed to be off his game. The National Journal, which co-hosted the NBC debate, compared Gingrich to “a stand-up comedian whose routine suffers without echoes of laughter egging him on.”
Mr. Gingrich clearly noticed something was off, too. “We’re going to serve notice on future debates,” he told Fox. “We’re just not going to allow that to happen. That’s wrong. The media doesn’t control free speech. People ought to be allowed to applaud if they want to.”
Hmmm…., I wonder how Newt feels about boos.
Limerick Ode To Newt’s Latest Temper Tantrum
By Madeleine Begun Kane
No cheering at last night’s debate!
This has Gingrich quite peeved and irate.
He says cheers from the crowd
Simply must be allowed.
Without cheers, will Newt Gingrich deflate?
Tags: Campaign Humor, Debate Limerick, Election Humor, First Amendment, Florida, Free Speech, Media Bashing, Media Humor, Mitt Romney, NBC, Newt Gingrich
Posted in Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 9 Comments »
Monday, January 23rd, 2012
Newt Gingrich demolished Mitt in South Carolina. Newt’s surging in Florida. And Romney’s large national lead is collapsing. Needless to say, the Republican establishment is starting to panic:
To the extent Newt threatens the Establishment, it’s because of his electability–or lack thereof. The GOP’s mandarins see Gingrich’s nomination as a sure way to blow their chance of deposing Barack Obama. They see Gingrich as the political equivalent of a Fukushima nuclear plant worker, with polls showing him to be lethally irradiated by his negative approval ratings. Whereas Mitt Romney is running about even with Barack Obama in head-to-head polling, Newt loses by double-digit margins. Sure, those numbers could change if Gingrich beats Romney and wins the nomination, with all the accolades it entails. On the other hand, his grandiosity syndrome may kick in, as it has before, and render him a laughing stock. Hence the many Establishment Republicans now saying things like, “Newt means losing 45 states.”
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Limerick Ode To Republican Panic
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Republican powers-that-be
Are scared of a Newt-nominee:
Newt’s grandiose ways
Could trigger malaise,
As voters to Democrats flee.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Florida, GOP, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Political Polls, Republicans Humor, RNC, South Carolina, Voting Limerick
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Polls, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor, Voting Satire | 6 Comments »
Friday, January 20th, 2012
The South Carolina primary is tomorrow, and Newt Gingrich’s poll numbers are picking up steam.
Mitt Romney’s South Carolina Blues (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It appears that Newt Gingrich may win
Tomorrow, to Romney’s chagrin.
Just imagine the gloating
Right after the voting!
If this happens, will Mitt take to gin?
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Political Polls, Presidential Campaign Humor, Republican Primary, South Carolina
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor | 8 Comments »
Thursday, January 19th, 2012
In case you’re asking
why Rick Perry has dropped out:
Donors talked Turkey.
*****
My head is spinning
from Republican debates.
I’m begging — please stop!
*****
View pols with caution.
Review records and viewpoints.
Behold all the lies.
*****
Brilliance from pols?
No reason to expect it.
Saneness would be nice.
*****
Tags: Campaign Funds, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Fund Raising, Political Haiku & Senryu, Politicians, Republican Debates, Rick Perry, Turkey
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, January 18th, 2012
You’ve probably heard that Rick Perry’s idiotic debate remarks, claiming Turkey is run by Islamic terrorists, led to a diplomatic incident. But did you know it inspired George W. Bush to send Rick Perry this limerick?
Limerick Letter From George W. Bush To Rick Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Rick, I’ve been meaning to write,
Cuz I watch you debate with delight.
And your Turkey faux pas:
What a laugh — Ha! Ha! Ha!
Thanks for making me look really bright!
Tags: Campaign Satire, Debate Limerick, Diplomatic Incidents, Election Humor, Foreign Relations, George W. Bush, Presidential Debate, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, State Department, Turkey
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry | Comments Off on Limerick Letter From George W. Bush To Rick Perry
Friday, January 13th, 2012
Crooks and Liars calls our attention to the huge cost of the GOP’s war on the IRS.
Now, the annual report to Congress from the National Taxpayer Advocate shows, “IRS is not adequately funded to serve taxpayers or collect revenue.”
C & L quotes the AP:
The Internal Revenue Service can’t keep up with surging tax cheating and isn’t sufficiently collecting revenue or helping confused taxpayers because Congress isn’t giving it enough money to do its job, a government watchdog said Wednesday…
Congress cut the IRS budget to $11.8 billion this year. That is $300 million less than last year and $1.5 billion below the request by President Barack Obama, who argued that boosting the agency’s spending would fatten tax collections and provide better service to taxpayers.
Limerick Ode To The GOP’s War On The IRS
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The GOP’s often applauded
For IRS cuts, even lauded.
But those savings ain’t real:
The records reveal
A big loss, when you slash those who audit.
Tags: Auditors Humor, Budget Cuts, Crooks & Liars, Deficit Hawks, Federal Budget, Fiscal Humor, GOP Idiocy, IRS Humor, National Taxpayer Advocate, Republicans Humor, Tax Limerick
Posted in Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor | 3 Comments »
Friday, January 13th, 2012
Mitt Romney is fluent in French. Finally, something to like about him!
But not so fast! According to a Newt Gingrich ad, French fluency’s a non-non:
Limerick Ode To Newt “J’accuse” Gingrich
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s a message from Newt’s latest ad:
Mitt Romney speaks French and that’s bad.
What an odd thing to knock:
Mitt sounds like a Jacques,
And bilingual is suspect. How sad!
Oddly enough, there’s ample evidence that Newt Gingrich pouvait comprendre cette phrase.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Foreign Languages, French Fluency, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Political Ads
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Language Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Ads, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Newt “J’accuse” Gingrich
Wednesday, January 11th, 2012
According to Mitt Romney, people who challenge Wall Street and economic unfairness are driven by “envy.”
Limerick Ode To Mitt “They’re All Just Jealous” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Distribution of wealth on your mind?
Take exception to it and you’ll find
That according to Mitt
You’re an envious twit.
To inequities, Romney is blind.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Class Envy, Class Warfare, Distribution Of Wealth, Election Humor, Envy Humor, Financial Inequity, Income Tax, Jealousy Humor, Mitt Romney, Wall Street
Posted in Campaign Humor, Economy Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, January 11th, 2012
Newt Gingrich is on the warpath against Mitt Romney, just as he promised after being decimated by pro-Romney ads in Iowa. And Newt’s latest South Carolina primary video ad is packed with goodies.
One of my favorites is Romney’s “dog on the roof of his car” escapade. But there’s lots more, including “I like being able to fire people…,” “Corporations are people,” “I’m running for president for pete’s sake, I can’t have illegals,” and “10,000 bet.”
And that’s not even Newt’s only anti-Romney video. Another one hits Romney on his abortion rights hypocrisy.
A vindictive Newt isn’t a pretty picture.
Beware The Wrathful Newt (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Newt Gingrich is on the attack.
His mission’s to Mitt Romney whack.
Revenge is his quest,
And he seeks it with zest.
Yes, the meanie we know has come back.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Iowa, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Political Ads, Revenge Humor, South Carolina
Posted in Campaign Humor, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, January 10th, 2012
By now you’ve surely seen Mitt Romney’s “I like being able to fire people” video clip.
Ode To Mitt “I like being able to fire people” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“I like … to fire people,”
Said Mitt Romney, with a smile.
This quote, while out-of-context,
Will be sure to irk and rile.
And well it should: The pleasure
Mitt conveys with eyes aglow
Reveals that Mitt seems happy
Telling people, “Time to go.”
No doubt he’ll claim unfairness:
He meant those who’d earned his boot,
And ads that use this sound bite
Are misleading. What a hoot!
Mitt Romney’s out-of-context ads
Are packed with sneaky bile,
Defaming his opponents,
And misleading by a mile.
It’s Mitt who set the standard:
Once a word’s been said, it’s game.
So if context doesn’t matter,
Here’s to treating Mitt the same.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Dishonesty Humor, Election Humor, Employment, Employment Humor, Mitt Romney, Political Ads, Republican Hypocrisy
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Ads, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Speeches Satire | 2 Comments »
Saturday, January 7th, 2012
During a Laconia, New Hampshire campaign stop, Newt had the audacity to say “I’m not rich.” And his wife Callista helpfully added, “We have one home.” Apparently Newt and I don’t share the same definition of rich:
This past summer, Gingrich had to file the financial-disclosure form required of presidential candidates. It revealed that he has a net worth of at least $6.7 million and that his income was at least $2.6 million in 2010. That’s about 65 times the income of the average family of four in the United States.
Limerick Ode To Newt “I’m Not Rich” Gingrich
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Newt Gingrich would like to be king
And is part of the wealthy right-wing.
He denies that he’s rich.
Just “one home” — what a bitch!
He should shorten his surname to “Ging.”
Tags: Callista Gingrich, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Financial Disclosure, New Hampshire, Newt Gingrich, Wealth Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Newt “I’m Not Rich” Gingrich
Saturday, January 7th, 2012
If you’re middle class or poor, and think you’ll fare better under Romney, this independent analysis of Mitt Romney’s proposed tax plan from the nonpartisan Tax Policy Center should surely change your mind.
But if you don’t have time to read the story, this limerick should give you the gist:
Limerick Ode To Romney’s “Robin Hood In Reverse” Tax Plan
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Want the rich to get richer? Vote Mitt.
Want a deficit increase? Mitt’s it.
Want things to get worse
For the middle class purse?
Then vote Romney — his tax plan is shit.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Deficit, Election Humor, Fiscal Humor, Middle Class, Mitt Romney, Tax Policy Center, Taxes, Wealth Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor | 3 Comments »
Friday, January 6th, 2012
Rick Santorum must think we’re stupid. He’s claiming that his racist reference to “black people” and welfare was really a reference to “blah people.”
Limerick Ode To Rick “Blah” Santorum
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you’re black, Rick Santorum’s a fan.
That’s true, be you woman or man.
But to folks who are “blah”
Rick Santorum says “Nah!”
It’s the “blah” people Ricky will pan.
Tags: Black People, Blah People, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, John King, Racism, Rick Santorum, Welfare
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | 5 Comments »
