Archive for March, 2010
Wednesday, March 31st, 2010
Like so many of my fellow progressives, I am dismayed by Obama’s plans to open offshore areas to oil and natural gas drilling for the first time.
Before I get to my latest limerick, here are some other bloggers who are aggravated by plans to open coastal waters to oil exploration: skippy, John Amato, Melissa McEwan, Taylor Marsh, and Jonathan Turley.
And now, my limerick:
Liberal Drilling? Chill, Obama, Chill!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Obama’s pronouncement ain’t thrilling.
He plans to expand off-shore drilling.
As a gal from the left
I am Mad and bereft.
Tell me, what has Obama been swilling?
Tags: Coastal Waters, Energy Satire, Liberals, Natural Gas, Obama poem, Oil Drilling, Progressives
Posted in 44 Humor, Barack Obama, Energy Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, White House | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, March 30th, 2010
Political April Fools’ Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
April Fools’ Day is coming. Beware!
Cuz it’s practical joke time. Prepare!
Don’t assume something’s frank,
Though perhaps as a prank,
Fox News will be balanced and fair.
Tags: April Fools' Day, Fair & Balanced, Fox News Satire, Holiday Satire, Media Humor, Practical Jokes, Television
Posted in Fox News Humor, Media Satire, Political Jokes & One-Liners, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Television (TV) Satire | Comments Off on Political April Fools’ Day
Friday, March 26th, 2010
Credit where credit is due: When it comes to self-contradiction, Mitt Romney is both fearless and peerless.
Once a staunch advocate of individual health insurance mandates — the Massachusetts governor who ardently defended their constitutionality — Romney has flip-flopped. Now that they’re required by the Democrats’ Affordable Care Act, they’ve magically turned unconstitutional.
Of course, constant flip-flops can be hard on the constitution. So it’s no surprise that Mitt Romney was for individual mandates before he was against them.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Mitt Romney: Constitutionally Confused
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Individual mandates are great,
Said Mitt re Mass. health bill’s debate.
Now he swears that they’re awful
And even unlawful.
Your claims, my dear Mitt — get them straight.
Tags: Affordable Care Act, Constitution Verse, Health Care Reform, Health Insurance, Legal Humor, Legislation Satire, Massachusetts, Mitt Romney, Republican Flip-Flops
Posted in Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Governors Humor, Health Satire, Hypocrisy Humor, Insurance Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | 4 Comments »
Thursday, March 25th, 2010
Senator Chuck Grassley, one of healthcare reform’s most vocal opponents, has outdone himself. He’s now trying to take credit for portions of the Affordable Health Care For America Act, bragging that he authored the good parts.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Chuck Grassley Upchucks Hypocrisy
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Chuck Grassley threw health care a curve
When he stalled reform efforts with verve.
His votes were all “no.”
His performance was po’.
Yet he brags he’s an author. What nerve!
********
And speaking of taking credit, check out Don Davis and his Rethuglicans Take Credit for ‘Home Scare Reform’.
Tags: Chuck Grassley, Health Care Reform, Legislation Satire, Republican Hypocrisy
Posted in GOP Humor, Health Satire, Hypocrisy Humor, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Senate Satire | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, March 24th, 2010
When it comes to health reform, Republicans are stuck between their crock and a hard place.
Repeal (requiring a veto-proof majority as long as Obama is president) is virtually impossible, not to mention unpopular. But the very GOP lies that came close to blocking health reform have brainwashed the Republican base into demanding its rescission. Consequently, many Republican leaders feel forced to perpetuate their doomsday and Armageddon claims and fight for repeal, even though they know it’s a lost cause.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Republicans: Stuck Between Their Crock And A Hard Place
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The GOP base screams “Repeal!”
And Republicans pledge to with zeal.
Cuz they set their own trap
With their factual gap:
Nixing laws that have widespread appeal.
Tags: GOP Humor, Health Care Reform, Legislation Satire, Republicans Humor
Posted in GOP Humor, Health Satire, Insurance Humor, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Republicans Humor | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010
How ironic that GOP state leaders are vowing to challenge the Affordable Health Care for America Act in court. For a party that’s always lambasting trial attorneys and activist judges, Republicans sure are litigious:
Republican Trials (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republicans constantly boo
Trial lawyers. They do it on cue.
For a party that feels
Such attorneys are heels,
The GOP sure likes to sue.
Tags: Activist Judge, GOP Humor, Health Care Reform, Judiciary Humor, Law Humor, Law Satire, Lawsuits, Legislation Satire, Litigation Humor, Republican Hypocrisy, Republicans Humor, Trial Lawyers
Posted in GOP Humor, Health Satire, Hypocrisy Humor, Irony, Judiciary Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 4 Comments »
Monday, March 22nd, 2010
Now that health reform has passed, Republicans are angrier than ever. Mitt Romney calls it an “unconscionable abuse of power” and Bill Kristol is urging repeal in a Weekly Standard editorial. Moreover, Senators John McCain, Judd Gregg and their fellow GOPers are so incensed that they’ve come up with a very creative threat:
GOP senators emerged Monday to caution that the health debate had taken a toll on the institution, warning of little work between parties the rest of this year.
“There will be no cooperation for the rest of the year,” McCain said during an interview Monday on an Arizona radio affiliate. “They have poisoned the well in what they’ve done and how they’ve done it.”
Wow! The next thing you know, Republicans will be vowing to filibuster and obstruct.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Addled Threats
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The GOP’s angry as hell.
Says McCain, Dems have “poisoned the well.”
So the rest of the year
We won’t work with them here.
And how is that diff’rent? Do tell!
********
I proud to say that this post is mentioned in the excellent
Health Wonk Review: Special Edition On Health Reform.
Tags: Congress Satire, GOP Humor, Health Care Reform, Health Insurance, John McCain, Judd Gregg, Legislation Satire, Mitt Romney, Republicans Humor, Senate Humor, Weekly Standard, William Kristol
Posted in Bill Kristol, Congress Humor, Filibuster Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Insurance Humor, John McCain, Judd Gregg, Legislation Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Washington | 5 Comments »
Saturday, March 20th, 2010
The House has apparently ditched the “deem and pass” health reform voting mechanism. Instead, it will hold separate up-or-down votes on the Senate health care bill and on the changes to that bill. While various explanations have been given, my limerick explains the real reason “deem and pass” plans have been abandoned:
“Deem and Pass” Ditty
By Madeleine Begun Kane
So “deem and pass” will not be used.
Not surprised — I was rather bemused:
To me, it was seemin’
It sounded like “demon.”
Of framing faux pas the phrase oozed.
Tags: Deem And Pass, Framing Humor, Health Care Reform, Language Satire, Legislation Satire, Self-Executing Rule, Voting Limerick
Posted in Democrats Satire, Health Satire, House Satire, Language Humor, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | 3 Comments »
Thursday, March 18th, 2010
Have you heard about the Bible-based Christian S & M cult? Of course, CDD (Christian Domestic Discipline) doesn’t consider itself an S & M cult, but it sure as hell sounds like one:
Just when I think I have seen it all, I stumble upon something called Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD) marriage, a rising trend in conservative Christian households. A CDD marriage, for the uninitiated, is “marriage is one in which one partner is given authority over the other, and has the means to back up that authority, usually by spanking.” And, of course, that one partner with authority is always the man…
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Religion Hits Bottoms
By Madeleine Begun Kane
CDD is an odd Christian fad
For punishing wives when they’re “bad.”
Is it weird? Just a smidgeon.
They call this religion:
Spousal ass spanking. Gals, you’ve been had.
Related Post:
I Won’t Graciously Submit To Mike Huckabee
Tags: Bible Humor, CDD Marriage, Christian Domestic Discipline, Conservative Christianity, Domestic Violence, Feminist Satire, Marriage Satire, Religion Satire, S & M, Spanking Humor, Traditional Marriage
Posted in Family Values Humor, Feminism Humor, Gender Politics, Political Limericks, Religious Satire | Comments Off on Religion Hits Bottoms
Wednesday, March 17th, 2010
Big news on the health reform front: Dennis Kucinich caved. “Something is better than nothing,” the Ohio Congressman explained.
I’m not at all sure I buy the half a loaf theory because I have zero faith in Obama and his fellow Dems. I just don’t believe Democrats will ever manage to improve their health reform recipe.
Et Tu, Dennis? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Obama takes lib’rals for granted,
And with Dennis’s “no” vote recanted,
It appears that he’s right:
Lib’ral pols have no fight!
Count this lib’ral as quite disenchanted.
Related Post: Dear Obama, Enough With The Voltaire!
I proud to say that this post is mentioned in the excellent
Health Wonk Review: Special Edition On Health Reform.
Tags: Congress Satire, Democrats Humor, Dennis Kucinich, Health Care Reform, Incrementalism, Legislation Satire, Liberals Satire, Ohio
Posted in Barack Obama, Congress Humor, Democrats Satire, Health Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | Comments Off on Et Tu, Dennis?
Tuesday, March 16th, 2010
J.D. Hayworth, in an effort to out-wingnut John McCain in Arizona’s Senatorial primary, is claiming that legalized same-sex marriage can lead to man-horse nuptials. This is what he had to say during his Rick Santorum-like “man on dog” moment:
You see, the Massachusetts Supreme Court, when it started this move toward same-sex marriage, actually defined marriage — now get this — it defined marriage as simply, “the establishment of intimacy.” Now how dangerous is that? I mean, I don’t mean to be absurd about it, but I guess I can make the point of absurdity with an absurd point — I guess that would mean if you really had affection for your horse, I guess you could marry your horse.
Now I’m very happily married to a human male right now. But just in case it doesn’t work out, I think this is wonderful news:
Hayworth’s Marriage Menagerie (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Would you like to be wed to a cat?
Or a horse, or a dog, or a bat?
Or even an ass?
Simply move out to Mass.
Hayworth says it’s okay. So that’s that.
Tags: Animals Satire, Arizona, Bestiality Humor, Gay Marriage, Homosexuality Satire, J.D. Hayworth, John McCain, Judiciary Humor, Law Humor, Massachusetts, Nuptials Humor, Rick Santorum, Same Sex Marriage
Posted in Gay Rights, Homophobia, John McCain, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Wingnuts | 6 Comments »
Friday, March 12th, 2010
The Democrats have suffered some ethics-embarrassments, and Republicans have been playing holier-than-thou with an RNC Charlie Rangel and Eric Massa ad.
Of course, looking morally superior would be a lot easier if Republicans didn’t have such a culture of corruption.
I’m guessing the RNC figured Democrats were too cowardly to fight back. Fortunately, the RNC was wrong.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Holier-Than-Thou Wars
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The GOP’s trying to smack
The Dems on their ethics. How whack!
With their glass house display—
Ensign, Vitter, DeLay—
They throw stones — an ironic attack.
Tags: Aphorisms, Charlie Rangel, David Vitter, DNC Ads, Eric Massa, Ethics, Glass Houses, John Ensign, Political Corruption, Republican Hypocrisy, RNC Ads, Throw Stones, Tom DeLay
Posted in Campaign Humor, Corruption Humor, Crime, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, John Ensign, Political Ads, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, RNC Humor | 2 Comments »
Saturday, March 6th, 2010
A right-winger has to go pretty far to be criticized by both the left and the right. But Liz Cheney and her Keep America Safe organization have managed to do it with their McCarthy-like attacks on U.S. Justice Department lawyers, smearing and demonizing them as terrorist sympathizers for their previous legal work defending Gitmo detainees.
This brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:
Liz Cheney: Chip Off The Old Crock
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Has Cheney gone stark raving mad?
I’m speaking of Liz — not her dad.
Now even some peers
Are attacking her smears
As McCarthy-like. Talk about sad!
When her natural allies cry foul,
She’s applying her lies with a trowel.
If she fails to give in
And fess up to her sin,
She’ll end up with a Dick Cheney scowl.
Related Posts: Liz Cheney’s Song and Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys
Tags: Gitmo, Justice Department, Keep America Safe, Lawyers, Legal Verse, Liz Cheney, McCarthy-like Smears, Richard Cheney, Terrorists
Posted in Campaign Humor, Dick Cheney Satire, Election Satire, Gitmo Humor, GOP Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Liz Cheney, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Terrorism, White House, Wingnuts | 4 Comments »
Saturday, March 6th, 2010
Are you upset by the cost-savings proposal to cut Saturday mail delivery in 2011? The prospect of mail-free Saturdays doesn’t bother me, as you can tell from this limerick:
Not Going Postal Over Saturday Mail
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are those who are deep in a funk
Cuz our Saturday mail may be sunk.
They think it’s unfair,
But I really don’t care
If I have to wait days to get junk.
Tags: Junk Mail, Mail Delivery, Postal Service, Saving Money Humor
Posted in Economy Humor, Government Services, Mail Humor, Money & Finance Humor | Comments Off on Not Going Postal Over Saturday Mail
Friday, March 5th, 2010
As you undoubtedly know, Senator James Bunning (R-Kentucky) is retiring at the end of the year … and none too soon. Embittered and unstable, Jim Bunning seems determined to inflict as much damage as possible during his final months in office.
The immediate crisis caused by “Bunning’s Blockade” is now over, and unemployment benefits and other payments blocked by Bunning’s obstruction are back in the pipeline.
Not that Bunning’s finished making trouble. He also placed a blanket hold on all pending presidential nominees.
Why? Because he felt like it.
I do believe Bunning’s earned himself a limerick:
Ode To An Obstructionist (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republican Senator Bunning
Seems senile and evilly cunning.
On his way out the door
He’s done damage galore.
But at least he’s not once again running.
Tags: Blanket Holds, Jim Bunning, Kentucky, Obstructionism, Presidential Nominees, Unemployment Benefits
Posted in Filibuster Humor, James Bunning, Kentucky Humor, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | 2 Comments »
Thursday, March 4th, 2010
South Carolina is a very entertaining state … if you’re into oddball politicians and very strange laws.
For instance, South Carolina has a little known (until now) law requiring subversive agents to register with the state and pay a five dollar fee.
No, I’m not kidding. If you’d like to overthrow the government, you’re required to register with the government.
Naturally, Tea Party members think this law was passed purposely to target their group. If so, that would make South Carolina pols highly precognitive — the law dates way back to 1951.
But if any subversives do feel the urge to register, they’d better do it soon. Why? Because State Sen. Larry Martin, a Republican, is pushing to repeal it:
“I readily recognize when it had been passed and what the purpose of it was back in the 1950s,” he said. “But I don’t think Osama bin Laden is going to register. It’s outlived its usefulness.”
This cries out for a limerick, don’t you think?
Subversive Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
You’re subversive and live in SC?
There’s no problem — just pay a small fee.
File a form with a fiver.
It’s cheap, you conniver.
You’d best file if you party with tea.
Tags: Larry Martin, Law Satire, Legal Verse, Legislation Humor, Overthrowing Government, South Carolina, State Registration, Subversive Agents, Tea Party Members, Weird Laws
Posted in Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, South Carolina Humor, Tea Parties | Comments Off on Subversive Limerick
Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010
Note: I’ve updated this with a limerick in Jon Swift’s honor at the bottom of this post.
Alas, there’s tragic news in the blogging and journalism communities: One of my favorite satirical bloggers, the brilliant Jon Swift a/k/a journalist Al Weisel has died suddenly. Tom Watson has the details about the death of this hilarious faux conservative blogger.
What a terrible loss! Rest in peace, Jon Swift. Your wit will be sorely missed throughout the left blogosphere.
Update: Libby Spencer has eulogized Jon beautifully here, and so have Blue Gal and Melissa at Shakesville and skippy.
Update 2: I’ve written a limerick in honor of Jon Swift:
Ode To Jon Swift
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A Swiftian journo named Jon
Was brilliant, but sadly is gone.
His wit will be missed
Cuz none could resist
The posts in his humor salon.
Tags: Blogosphere, Lefty Blogs
Posted in Lefty Blogger News | 5 Comments »
Monday, March 1st, 2010
I haven’t lived in California since I graduated from Cal Arts a zillion years ago. And when I read stories like this one about the California Assembly’s silly anti-cursing bill, I’m in no rush to go back. And certainly not to Sacramento:
Gosh-Darn Pols!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
California Assembly’s decree:
The first week of March is “cuss-free.”
So don’t fret about health,
Or pine for lost wealth,
Cuz your pols are protecting you. See?
Update: After writing this, I ran across this interesting post on the same topic by Seth Frederiksen, who’s originally from California. And there’s more information about the bill over here at skippy’s.
Tags: Anti-Cursing, Cal Arts, California Assembly Satire, Cuss-Free Humor, Legislation Satire, Political Priorities, Politicians Limerick, Sacramento
Posted in California Satire, Etiquette Humor, Language Humor, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | 5 Comments »
Addled Threats
Monday, March 22nd, 2010Now that health reform has passed, Republicans are angrier than ever. Mitt Romney calls it an “unconscionable abuse of power” and Bill Kristol is urging repeal in a Weekly Standard editorial. Moreover, Senators John McCain, Judd Gregg and their fellow GOPers are so incensed that they’ve come up with a very creative threat:
Wow! The next thing you know, Republicans will be vowing to filibuster and obstruct.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Addled Threats
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The GOP’s angry as hell.
Says McCain, Dems have “poisoned the well.”
So the rest of the year
We won’t work with them here.
And how is that diff’rent? Do tell!
********
I proud to say that this post is mentioned in the excellent
Health Wonk Review: Special Edition On Health Reform.
Tags: Congress Satire, GOP Humor, Health Care Reform, Health Insurance, John McCain, Judd Gregg, Legislation Satire, Mitt Romney, Republicans Humor, Senate Humor, Weekly Standard, William Kristol
Posted in Bill Kristol, Congress Humor, Filibuster Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Insurance Humor, John McCain, Judd Gregg, Legislation Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Washington | 5 Comments »