Archive for October, 2009

“Short On Facts” Fox

Saturday, October 31st, 2009

One of the silliest Republican (and Fox News) talking points is that the Democratic health reform bill is too long. Fox News Live Desk’s Trace Gallagher seems especially fond of it, making repeated (and inaccurate) comparisons to Tolstoy’s War and Peace. (Well, we always knew that Fox is fond of fiction.)

“Short On Facts” Fox (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When on substance your grasp just ain’t strong,
Simply bitch that the health bill’s too long.
“War and Peace is much shorter,”
Rants Trace (Fox “reporter”),
And even on that Fox is wrong.

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Posted in Fox News Humor, Health Satire, Legislation Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Television (TV) Satire | Comments Off on “Short On Facts” Fox

A Limerick For Traitor Joe

Thursday, October 29th, 2009

Traitor Joe Lieberman is back to his old tricks, once again trying to undermine Democrats. So how’s Joe rewarding Obama and Harry Reid’s excessive generosity in letting Lieberman caucus with the Dems and chair the Homeland Security Committee? By threatening to help Republicans filibuster health reform over the public option.

Joe Lieberman’s latest misanthropic behavior reminds me of the single saving grace in Bush v. Gore: The election was stolen from Lieberman too.

I’ve already written Joe a song parody, so now it’s time for a limerick:

A Limerick For Traitor Joe
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Joe Lieberman’s meanness runs deep.
He’s a back-stabbing, Dem-screwing creep,
Who’s determined to kill
The health reform bill.
But at least he will never be VEEP.

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Posted in Barack Obama, Filibuster Humor, Harry Reid, Health Satire, Insurance Humor, Joe Lieberman, Legislation Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Washington | 6 Comments »

Bystander President?

Tuesday, October 20th, 2009

Recent comments by Sen. Jay Rockefeller and others indicate
that a strong public option could become a reality, if only President Obama stopped being a Bystander President.

Bystander President? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Public option’s at stake — tock, tick, tock.
Please step up to the plate, Dear Barack.
Though the sidelines were cool
For a while, you’re a fool
If you fail to ensure it’s a lock.

Related Posts: Ode To Senator Judd “Majority Rules, Except When It Doesn’t” Gregg; Open Limerick To President Obama; Republicans Were For “Death Panels” Before They Were Against Them; Tantrum Politics; and Waterloo Lies

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Posted in Barack Obama, Health Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, White House | Comments Off on Bystander President?

Heinous Heenes?

Monday, October 19th, 2009

Last week I managed to avoid the Balloon Boy media frenzy. Reality show participants with an endangered child on an AWOL helium balloon? Yeah … right. Then again, I don’t spend my time watching kids being rescued from wells either.

In any event, I’m not surprised that Wife Swap participants (and reality TV series pitchers) Richard and Mayumi Heene may be arrested for “concocting a publicity stunt by pretending that their young son [Falcon] had climbed aboard a homemade helium balloon and was hurtling through the skies above Fort Collins, Colo.”

The Heenes’ lawyer David Lane expects the Larimer County Sheriff’s Office to file charges this week, and Denver man Robert Thomas says Richard Heene gave him advance word of a media stunt.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Heinous Heenes?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Two publicity mongers named Heene
Are accused of a hoax quite obscene:
Claimed their wayward balloon
Held their child. Opportune
For a shot at “reality” green.

Update: I’ve heard the Heenes’ name pronounced three different ways, two of which screw up my rhyme scheme. Since I’m not sure which pronunciation is correct, I guess I’ll leave my limerick up as written.

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Posted in Celebrity Verse, Crime, Entertainment Humor, Hi Tech Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Media Satire, Non-Political Humor, Non-Political Verse, Science Verse, Television (TV) Satire, Transportation Safety, Weather Satire | 3 Comments »

Ode To Party-First Republicans

Sunday, October 11th, 2009

Remember when you could tell the difference between right-wing loons and your average Republican politician? Unfortunately, that distinction is rapidly vanishing. And Republican reaction to 1) Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize win; and 2) Chicago’s failure to land the Olympics are but two recent examples.

Ode To Party-First Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When the Prez wins a prize, wingnuts sneer.
When we lose the Olympics, they cheer.
“Country first,” they once said.
Seems that sentiment’s dead.
If Barack killed bin Laden, they’d jeer.

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Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »

Ode To Pro-Rape Republicans

Friday, October 9th, 2009

Thirty Senate Republicans voted to keep rape victims who work for defense contractors from having their day in court. How? By voting against an Al Franken-proposed amendment to the 2010 Defense Appropriations Bill that would withhold defense contracts from companies (like Dick Cheney’s KBR) “if they restrict their employees from taking workplace sexual assault, battery and discrimination cases to court.”

Franken was inspired to sponsor this amendment by the ordeal of Jamie Leigh Jones, who was gang-raped by her co-workers while working for Halliburton/KBR in Baghdad. A clause in Jones’ KBR employment contract made employer-friendly private arbitration her only recourse, precluding Jones from seeking justice in court.

I hope all those pro-rape Republicans (listed below my limerick) are proud of themselves:

Ode To Pro-Rape Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though Republicans yearn for support
From females, they’re bound to fall short:
Their position on rape
Is in criminal shape
Cuz they treat it like less than a tort.

Here’s the list of the thirty pro-rape Republican Senators:
Lamar Alexander (R-TN) John Barrasso (R-WY) Christopher Bond (R-MO) Sam Brownback (R-KS) Jim Bunning (R-KY) Richard Burr (R-NC) Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) Tom Coburn (R-OK) Thad Cochran (R-MS) Bob Corker (R-TN) John Cornyn (R-TX) Mike Crapo (R-ID) Jim DeMint (R-SC) John Ensign (R-NV) Michael Enzi (R-WY) Lindsey Graham (R-SC) Judd Gregg (R-NH) James Inhofe (R-OK) Johnny Isakson (R-GA) Mike Johanns (R-NE) Jon Kyl (R-AZ) John McCain (R-AZ) Mitch McConnell (R-KY) James Risch (R-ID) Pat Roberts (R-KS) Jeff Sessions (R-AL) Richard Shelby (R-AL) John Thune (R-SD) David Vitter (R-LA) Roger Wicker (R-MS)

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Posted in Al Franken, Crime, David Vitter, Dick Cheney Satire, Feminism Humor, Gender Politics, GOP Humor, Inhofe Humor, James DeMint, Jeff Sessions, John Ensign, John McCain, Judd Gregg, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, National Security Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | 10 Comments »