Archive for June, 2009
Sunday, June 28th, 2009
I’ve heard some twisted rationalizations over the years. But Rush Limbaugh’s attempt at blaming Obama for Mark Sanford’s failings really takes the cake.
A double limerick, just for Rush Limbaugh:
De-Moralized?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rush claims that Obama’s to blame
For Sanford’s disgrace and his shame:
The stimulus bill
Destroyed Sanford’s will.
Wow, even for Limbaugh, that’s lame.
When a Democrat strays — no excuse!
Just right-wing attacks and abuse.
But conservative sins
Are spinned — turned to wins.
Try to reason with Rush? It’s no use!
Tags: Democrats, Hypocrisy, Limbaugh, Mark Sanford, Media, Obama, Philanderers, Radio, Republicans Humor, Scandals, Sins, Stimulus, Talk Shows, Womanizers
Posted in Barack Obama, Blame Game, Family Values Humor, Fiscal Policy, Governors Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mark Sanford, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Radio Humor, Republicans Humor, Rush Limbaugh | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
All the explanations for Gov. Mark Sanford’s absence — the recharging, the writing, the catching up on projects, the naked Appalachian Trail hiking — are officially inoperative. Come to think of it, Sanford did take a hike — from his obligations to his wife and family and to his constituents.
A secret Argentinean affair! Wow! You have to give the righteous Republican Brownie points for creativity:
Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The myst’ry of Sanford is solved.
We have learned an affair is involved.
Argentinean tryst!
Now that’s quite a twist.
Say goodbye to his Prez hopes. Dissolved!
Tags: Affairs, Argentina, Governors, Hypocrisy, Mark Sanford, Philanderers, Republicans Humor, Scandals, South Carolina, Womanizers
Posted in Family Values Humor, GOP Humor, Governors Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mark Sanford, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009
Life would be ever so much easier, if only RNC Chairman Michael Steele had Barack Obama’s gig. For instance, we’d be able to solve our health care problems in a nanosecond:
STEELE: So if it’s a cost problem, it’s easy: Get the people in a room who have the most and the most direct impact on cost, and do the deal. Do the deal. It’s not that complicated.
If it’s an access question, people don’t have access to health care, then figure out who they are, and give them access! Hello?! Am I missing something here? …
And so it’s time for yet another Michael Steele limerick:
Steeley Plan For Health Care
By Madeleine Begun Kane
U.S. health reform’s easy, says Steele.
Simply get in a room — do the deal.
Whether access or cost
Is the problem, accost
Those involved, do the deal, and get real.
Tags: Health Reform, Negotiation, RNC, Steele
Posted in Health Satire, Michael Steele, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, RNC Humor | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009
I don’t know what’s weirder — the fact that South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s been missing since Thursday, or that his wife doesn’t seem at all worried.
Mark Sanford — Lost? Or Losing It? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gov. Sanford — oh let’s call him Mark —
Has left his whole state in the dark.
He’s gone missing, they say.
Can they reach him? No way!
Is he nuts, or just lost in some park?
Update: Here’s my favorite rumor about South Carolina’s missing governor: Mark Sanford may have been hiking naked.
Update 2: Now that Governor Sanford’s fessed up to an Argentinean tryst, I’ve written him another limerick.
Tags: Mark Sanford, South Carolina
Posted in Governors Humor, Mark Sanford, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor | 2 Comments »
Monday, June 15th, 2009
Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell. Just Sign! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Obama, our nation can’t wait.
Please stop ousting the folks who ain’t straight.
Yes, we know your plate’s full,
But I’m sorry — that’s bull!
Sign a “stop-loss.” How long can it take?
Tags: DADT, Gays, Limericks, Military, Obama, Stop-Loss
Posted in Barack Obama, Don't Ask Don't Tell Humor, Gay Rights, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Military Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | 3 Comments »
Monday, June 15th, 2009
I tend to avoid embroilment in comment fights. But Sunday was an exception.
Over at Facebook (I’m at facebook.com/madkane, should you wish to befriend me) a George Stephanopoulos post had drawn some really crazed comments. The topic was the Sarah Palin / David Letterman brouhaha, and I couldn’t resist chiming in with this comment:
He was clearly referring to Palin’s unwed-mother/18 year old daughter, who apparently has become a spokesperson for abstinence and is in the public eye thanks to Palin’s actions. He apologized. Palin, instead of accepting his apology in a classy fashion, continues to distort and exploit what he said.
Nine minutes later an outraged woman named (I kid you not) Belle Blessing posted this over-the-top response:
Madelin, maybe you like perverts hanging out their tongues at your daughter or maybe you even offer her up to them. The majority of this American nation who still have their moral values in tack…don’t want the perverts giving second glance. The foundation that this country was founded on had higher moral values than letting the dirt bag over 50 population treat women and girls like sex slaves. The perverts should stick to passing toilet paper under the wall and picking up on other perverted men.
In an exercise of extreme self-control, I posted just this in response:
Dear Belle, I hope you and Sarah Palin will be very happy together. :)
Aren’t you impressed with my self-control?
Not so fast!
Twenty minutes later I just couldn’t help myself. Ms. Belle deserved a limerick, so I posted this:
There once was a woman named Belle,
Who believed I was destined for hell.
So self-righteous was she,
She condemned me with glee
And an arrogance no one could quell.
I feel much better now.
Tags: Abstinence, Bristol Palin, Comment Fights, Facebook, Letterman, Media, Palin, Self-Righteous, Stephanopoulos, Unwed Mothers
Posted in Facebook Verse, Gender Politics, George Stephanopoulos, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Sarah Palin, Wingnuts | 8 Comments »
Thursday, June 11th, 2009
Few people are better at creating a Krauthammer-lauded “alternate reality” than Fox’s Sean Hannity. Columnist Dick Polman provides an excellent example:
On his Fox show one week ago, Sean Hannity told his credulous fans that President Obama had made a deliberate effort during his Cairo speech “to give 9/11 sympathizers a voice on the world stage.” … Hannity even backed up his reporting by airing a video clip from the speech, with Obama saying: “I am aware that there are still some that would question or even justify the events of 9/11.”
…
… Hannity’s video clip of Obama was truncated after that single quoted sentence, omitting everything that followed. Here’s what Obama said next, none of which was aired for the Fox viewers:
“But let us be clear. Al Qaeda killed nearly 3000 people on that day. The victims were innocent men, women and children from America and many other nations who had done nothing to harm anybody. And yet al Qaeda chose to ruthlessly murder these people … These are not opinions to be debated; these are facts to be dealt with.” …
For that outrageous deception alone, Sean Hannity deserves a limerick:
Hannity Insanity
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a fellow named Hannity
Who strutted and showed off his vanity.
From his Fox chair he lied,
Took his fans for a ride,
And showed utter disdain for humanity.
Tags: 9/11 Sympathizers, Al Qaeda, Alternate Reality, Dick Polman, Fox News, Krauthammer, Lies, Media, Obama, Sean Hannity, Talk Show Hosts, Terrorism
Posted in 9/11 Satire, Foreign Policy, Fox News Humor, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Sean Hannity Verse, Terrorism | 6 Comments »
Monday, June 8th, 2009
When Judge Sonia Sotomayor was first nominated for the U.S. Supreme Court, I started writing this Mike Huckabee-related song parody:
Maria,
I’d swear that her name was Maria.
Unfortunately, I got distracted and never finished it. However, I did find another use for this Leonard Bernstein West Side Story tune. My latest song parody concerns the ubiquitous Liz Cheney:
Liz Cheney’s Song
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Liz Cheney.
You just can’t avoid Lizzie Cheney.
The former Veep’s to blame.
Their surnames are the same, you see.
Liz Cheney.
I sure would not miss Lizzie Cheney,
If suddenly I found
Liz Cheney unrenowned. Yippee!
Liz Cheney.
Say it loud and her lies are playing.
Make her stop, I confess I am praying.
Liz Cheney.
She’ll never stop fibbing.
Liz Cheney.
The most terrible lies I’ve ever heard.
Liz Cheney.
Tags: Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Leonard Bernstein, Liz Cheney, Maria, Media Lies, Mike Huckabee, Song Parody, Sonia Sotomayor
Posted in Liz Cheney, Media Satire, Mike Huckabee, Politics Satire, Song Parodies, Sonia Sotomayor Verse | 2 Comments »
Thursday, June 4th, 2009
Republicans have no shortage of things to fulminate about. One of their favorites? The General Motors bankruptcy:
Bankrupt Values (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An auto co known as GM
In the past was considered a gem.
It’s in bankruptcy now.
Will that hurt? Yes, and how!
But the GOP’s goal? Blame the Dem!
(You can find my lighter car humor columns and limericks here.)
Tags: Automobiles, Bankruptcy, Blame, Cars, Democrats, Economy, Finance, General Motors, GM, GOP, Law Satire, Money, Obama, Republicans Humor, Values
Posted in Automobiles Satire, Barack Obama, Blame Game, Business Humor, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Bankrupt Values
Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009All the explanations for Gov. Mark Sanford’s absence — the recharging, the writing, the catching up on projects, the naked Appalachian Trail hiking — are officially inoperative. Come to think of it, Sanford did take a hike — from his obligations to his wife and family and to his constituents.
A secret Argentinean affair! Wow! You have to give the righteous Republican Brownie points for creativity:
Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The myst’ry of Sanford is solved.
We have learned an affair is involved.
Argentinean tryst!
Now that’s quite a twist.
Say goodbye to his Prez hopes. Dissolved!
Tags: Affairs, Argentina, Governors, Hypocrisy, Mark Sanford, Philanderers, Republicans Humor, Scandals, South Carolina, Womanizers
Posted in Family Values Humor, GOP Humor, Governors Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mark Sanford, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor | 4 Comments »