Posts Tagged ‘Writing & Publishing Humor’

Limerick Rite (Limerick-Off Monday)

Saturday, June 7th, 2014

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was trying to write…*

or

A woman, convinced she was right…*

or

We’re lost. You were s’posed to turn right…*

or

A man who believed might makes right…*

or

A gal was engaged in a rite…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Rite
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman was trying to write,
But her right and left brains had a fight.
So her muse, unamused,
Feeling slighted, abused
And benighted took flight, just for spite.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

A Rhyme To The Wise (2-Verse Limerick)

Friday, June 6th, 2014

A Rhyme To The Wise (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A scrappy young felon liked rhyme,
So he promised himself — no more crime.
He’d instead be a rapper.
But here is the capper:
His “confessional tunes” got him time.

So limerick writers, take heed.
Your rhymes may be next. They could feed
A detective’s suspicions,
Who deems them admissions.
Then indictment — your verse his first lead.

Note: Legal experts are currently debating the surprisingly widespread use of rap lyrics in criminal cases.

Passing Over Some Rules (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 15th, 2014

Passing Over Some Rules (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though I’m Jewish, I’m still eating bread
And refuse to munch matzo instead.
I spurn rules all the time,
Except canons of rhyme
And of meter … so don’t be misled.

Fun With Verbs (Limerick)

Friday, February 7th, 2014

A recent article over at DVerse Poets discusses the importance of using vivid verbs in poetry. And though I completely agree, I couldn’t resist writing this limerick:

Fun With Verbs (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

One never should write. One should scribe.
One must NOT coincide. Instead, jibe.
Are verbs that have color
Much better than duller?
I’m bewildered — must drink … or imbibe.

Boring adjective-freedom’s my goal,
And dull adverbs can sure take their toll.
I abjure and forswear them
And simply can’t bear them.
In this verse, though, they’re taking control.

Perhaps with Verse 3, I’ll succeed
In banishing words I don’t need.
Not an adverb in sight,
Nor an adjective blight.
Push my luck? No, not me! End of screed.

Paying Lots Of Bread … For Toast (Limerick)

Friday, January 17th, 2014

I read about horrifying trends, so you don’t have to. How’d you like some three and four-dollars-per-slice “artisanal toast?”

Paying Lots Of Bread … For Toast (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Artisanal toast’s a new trend.
Does this four-dollar-slice fad portend
Even worse things to come?
Perhaps hipster-style gum?
Or lim’ricks, bespoke, pric’ly penned?

Limerick Dry Run (The Evolution of a Limerick)

Thursday, November 14th, 2013

When I’m looking for limerick ideas, I sometimes visit idiom list sites, like this one. Then I’ll select an idiom that might work meter-wise and that ends with a common rhyme sound.

And so today, I challenged myself to write a limerick that contains the phrase “dry run.” Unconsciously inspired, perhaps, by the inept roll-out of Obamacare, I wrote these two lines:

A software firm held a dry run
But the coding, alas, wasn’t done…

I swiftly thought up an acceptable “B-rhyme,” but then got stuck at line 5. The best I could come up with was an ending that employed yet another idiom: “under the gun.” But I still couldn’t think of a line 5 that was even slightly clever.

And then I got an idea: create some wordplay by revising another line, adding specificity to the subject matter. Here’s the result:

Limerick Dry Run
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A software firm held a dry run,
But the arms-tracking code wasn’t done.
It failed test after test,
Till the owner confessed:
“I’m too stressed to work under the gun.”

Not A-Mused (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 9th, 2013

Not A-Mused (3-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Inspiration is gone — I’m bereft,
For I fear my dear muse has just left.
And my brain’s auto-rhymer
Is spent — the old-timer
Says, “Write something rhyme-free with heft.”

A serious verse that’s rhyme-free?
I’m sorry — that just isn’t me.
I don’t layer my verse
Or deep meaning disperse.
I’d rather spread light-hearted glee.

If you’re waiting for metaphor, stop.
And a simile simply won’t pop.
My verse just won’t hatch
Without rhyme — that’s the catch:
An unfertilized limerick crop.

Happy National Punctuation Day (Limerick)

Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

Happy National Punctuation Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When you punctuate, please don’t be rash.
Over-use can turn prose into ash.
And a comma misplaced
Lays your writing to waste.
Mark my words … or your readers shall dash.

(National Punctuation Day is celebrated yearly on September 24th.)

Limerick Ode To Labor Day

Saturday, August 31st, 2013

Limerick Ode To Labor Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I task myself: “Don’t be a jerk.
Pen a holiday piece. Do not shirk!
It’s your job to write rhyme.”
But my oeuvre’s a crime,
And my Labor Day lim’ricks don’t work.

Limerick Ode To Elmore Leonard

Wednesday, August 21st, 2013

Written with fond apologies to the late, lamented Elmore Leonard, after re-reading his New York Times piece, WRITERS ON WRITING; Easy on the Adverbs, Exclamation Points and Especially Hooptedoodle. (His article cautions against the abuse of prologues, adverbs and other description, exclamation points, weather references, regional dialect, the word “suddenly,” etc.)

On a hot, sunny day, an attractive young man sat in a tiny, darkened room, compulsively reading Elmore Leonard’s essay on writing. Carefully noting his ten writing no-nos, he bellowed loudly, “Fuggedaboutit! I can violate all of Leonard’s rules in a single limerick!”

“It’s raining!” he loudly cried out.
Then suddenly felt like a lout.
“A mensch I shall be…”
From this you can see
Leonard’s rules are what writing’s about.

In Praise Of Frustration (Limerick)

Monday, May 13th, 2013

In Praise Of Frustration (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My muse is unleashed by frustration
And foiled by excessive elation.
When I’m irked or irate
I’m more prone to create,
While repose sends my muse on vacation.

(DVerse Poets wants to know what inspires our writing.)

Freelance Mothering

Tuesday, May 7th, 2013

This feels vaguely appropriate for Mother’s Day:

Freelance Mothering (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Be it newspapers, Web, magazines,
Mistakes are in print and on screens:
Though I’ve NO kids to nag,
I once learned in a mag:
I’m the very proud mother of teens.

True story: Many years ago I wrote several freelance humor columns for Family Circle Magazine, one of which was a “humorous contract” between parents and their teen about learning to drive.

I’ll never forget standing on a long line at the supermarket and spotting the issue I was scheduled to appear in, near the cash register. I grabbed the magazine, turned to the back page and excitedly started to read.

Everything look great … until I got to the bio note, which should have read: “Madeleine Begun Kane is a New York-based freelance humor columnist and lawyer.”

Instead, it read, “Madeleine Begun Kane is the mother of teens.”

And no, I do NOT have any children … unless, of course, you count my hubby Mark.

This Will Turn Into A Limerick … Knock On Wood

Thursday, March 7th, 2013

Poetic Asides prompts us to write a “knock on wood” poem. So I’m tempting fate with this one:

This Will Turn Into A Limerick … Knock On Wood
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I often will say, “knock on wood,”
And I WOULD knock on wood, if I could.
But it’s rarely around,
So instead I stomp ground,
In the hope it will do me some good.

Dear Readers (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 27th, 2013

Earlier this week, DVersePoets asked us how we feel about blog poetry feedback:

Dear Readers (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When you visit my blog, don’t be mute.
Feel free to critique. Be astute.
Admiration is sweet,
And a LOL can’t be beat.
But I beg you, don’t say that it’s “cute.”

Why I Write Limericks (Limerick)

Monday, February 18th, 2013

Brian over at DVerse Poets asks us why we write:

Why I Write Limericks (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I write cuz I don’t have a choice.
I’m simply compelled to give voice
To distress through my humor:
This angst-ridden boomer
Must in whimsy and lim’ricks rejoice.

Some Jokes Just Don’t Compute (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 8th, 2013

It seems that artificial intelligence has a pun and joke-writing branch called computational humor. For instance, a computer software program called Standup:

Though it’s not quite Louis C. K., the Standup program, engineered by a team of computer scientists in Scotland, is one of the more successful efforts to emerge from a branch of artificial intelligence known as computational humor, which seeks to model comedy using machines.

Some Jokes Just Don’t Compute (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Computational humor is here:
Oddball software whose goal’s the frontier
Of punning and jokes.
But so far, I’d say folks
Who are funny have nothing to fear.

Inspirational? Moi??? (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2013

When I’m asked to write something inspirational, things tend to go badly:

Inspirational? Moi??? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Inspirational verse ain’t my thing,
And when prompted to give it a fling,
I’m more likely to joke,
Or even provoke.
Wax heartfelt? I’d much rather zing.

Curmudgeonly Limerick

Tuesday, December 18th, 2012

Curmudgeonly Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A curmudgeon was in a foul mood —
Even worse than his usual tude.
So his concert review
Read in bold letters, “BOO!”
He was paid by the word … so not shrewd.

UPDATE: January 29 is Curmudgeons Day.

Limerick Passion

Wednesday, October 24th, 2012

Poetry Jaam prompts us to write about love or passion. I almost took a pass on this prompt, because I don’t like writing (or reading) mushy stuff. (Hubby Mark is our household’s designated mush-meister.) But instead of skipping it altogether, I came up with this:

Limerick Passion
By Madeleine Begun Kane

About lim’ricks, I truly have passion,
And I guess that is love, in a fashion.
Cuz to me, rhyme’s like breathing—
Without it, I’m seething.
Have compassion — don’t ask me to ration.

Limerick Ode To Bad Poetry Day

Friday, August 17th, 2012

A big holiday’s coming up tomorrow, August 18th: Bad Poetry Day.

Limerick Ode To Bad Poetry Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bad Poetry Day is tomorrow.
I shall greet it with fear and some sorrow.
Will my e-box be strewn
With verse that’s rough-hewn?
Do you have a good rhyme I can borrow?