Posts Tagged ‘Writing & Publishing Humor’

Redundant Limerick

Sunday, May 3rd, 2015

Redundant Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I avow and aver and declare
And affirm and attest and I swear:
The redundancy flaw
From practicing law
Ain’t impairing my lim’ricks. So there!

Nothing Cryptic Here (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2015

Nothing Cryptic Here (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear poet, your verse is opaque.
To decipher it makes my head ache.
Being cryptic’s okay,
If it ain’t just a way
To feign wisdom while being a fake.

Eight Lines On Demand (Updated)

Tuesday, April 21st, 2015

A verse of eight lines
has been ordered today.
So a lim’rick won’t fit.
Must I really obey?

I’ve already done five.
Counting this one, it’s six.
Since I’ve traveled this far,
guess I’ll finish, for kicks.

(DVerse Poets asks for 8-line poems today.)

UPDATE: I just realized that today’s double dactyl for John Mortimer (of Rumpole fame) also fits the bill:

Higgledy Piggledy
John Clifford Mortimer
Barrister, Author,
Rumpolian wit.

Bailey, his bailiwick
Prima-facetiously
He and his Horace sure
Loved to acquit.

Fair Game

Monday, April 6th, 2015

Fair Game
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I would never purport
to engage in a sport
unless mockery counts;
I do massive amounts.

I make comments in sport
that make some people snort.
I’m unsporting, some claim,
When at pols I take aim.

But those pols are fair game.
Their behavior’s to blame,
And they reap what they sow.
So it’s on with the show.

My political humor is on my other blog.

Beauty Ain’t My Thing (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 24th, 2015

Beauty Ain’t My Thing
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’ve been told to write verse filled with beauty
Stuff that some folks call snooty or fruity.
But my talent is rhyme,
And to ask for “sublime”
Is for me a ridiculous duty.

A Limerick Rush

Tuesday, March 24th, 2015

A Limerick Rush
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I really should try not to rush;
When I hurry, my mind turns to mush,
And I’m likely to write
Something foolish or trite–
Verbal blight which just might make me blush.

A Glimmer Of A Limerick

Tuesday, March 10th, 2015

A Glimmer Of A Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’ve a limerick notion — a glimmer.
It’s shimmering. Damn! Now it’s dimmer.
My brain’s covered with frost,
And my rhyme primer’s lost.
My slim odds of success have grown grimmer.

A Rhyme For All Seasons (Limerick)

Monday, February 16th, 2015

A Rhyme For All Seasons (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

No matter the time or the season,
I will conjure up rhymes for no reason.
And haiku ain’t immune;
They are often rhyme-strewn,
Although many view rhymes there as treason.

Limerick Time

Wednesday, January 21st, 2015

Limerick Time
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Don’t be TIM-id. Give LIM-‘ricks a TRY.
There is NO need to FEAR them. Here’s WHY:
Simply CO-py my ME-ter.
(You WON’T be a CHEA-ter.)
Let A, a, b, B, a-rhyme FLY.

*****

Here’s my how to write limericks article.

View my Limerick Time limerick image here.

Word Hoarder (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 20th, 2015

Word Hoarder (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

With words, I am rather a hoarder.
My brain is a language importer.
Is it all for the birds?
How I long for my words
To arise in a risible order.

UPDATE: I just found out that January 9th was National Word Nerd Day.

Overzealous Deletes (Limerick)

Sunday, January 18th, 2015

Overzealous Deletes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There are times I make haste to delete
A phrase that feels lame or effete.
Then I suddenly think
That it doesn’t quite stink–
I can save it — “Control Z” you’re sweet!

Elysian Limerick

Thursday, January 8th, 2015

Elysian Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

With a life that’s elysian I’d miss
Mock’ry grist — things amiss – that’s not bliss!
I’d have nothing to say;
I can’t write ev’ry day
Without stuff that deserves a good diss.

(Inspired by the Twitter #WordStew prompt: ELYSIAN.)

View my Elysian Limerick image here.

Hiding In Verse (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 6th, 2015

Hiding In Verse (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was trying to hide
From problems he could not abide.
So he tossed off some verse,
Which made things far worse…
For his muse wasn’t taking his side.

View my Hiding in Verse limerick image here.

Tweet Marvels (Limerick)

Friday, December 19th, 2014

Tweet Marvels (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I marvel @ poets who fit
A lim’rick on tweets. It takes grit
& patience & toil
2 manage 2 boil
Lim’ricks down so u read what I’ve writ.

Note: The 140 character per tweet limit on Twitter is a tough taskmaster; It was all I could do to fit the five lines in a tweet, even after changing “@” to “at,” “and” to “&,” “to” to “2,” and “you” to “u.”

And even then, there was no room for my title, byline, post URL, or this hashtagged indication of what prompt inspired me: #5prompt (marvel.)

Haiku On The Attack (Limerick)

Tuesday, November 11th, 2014

Haiku On The Attack (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Haiku’s been assaulting my mind,
Mocking lim’ricks, who’re feeling maligned:
“Haiku’s pithy, sublime.
“Lim’rick’s frivolous rhyme!”
Begged my muse to crack wise — she declined.

UK Celebrates National Poetry Day (October 2)

Thursday, October 2nd, 2014

The Brits really know how to celebrate poetry.

Limerick Ode To UK’s National Poetry Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I hear tell that today has cachet
In Great Britain — immeas’rable sway.
With much rhyme and good reason
They deem it high treason
Not to celebrate Poetry Day.

Limerick Ode To Bad Poetry Day

Monday, August 18th, 2014

Today, August 18, is Bad Poetry Day. So I figured I’d write a bad limerick on purpose. How? By picking an A-rhyme with a relatively small word selection:

Limerick Ode To Bad Poetry Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s Bad Poetry Day, and I wonder
Why bother to pillage and plunder
The language of verse.
I the blunderbuss curse
Who’d, on purpose, tear poems asunder.

Limerick Post (Limerick-Off Monday)

Saturday, August 2nd, 2014

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was offered a post…*

or

A woman was planning to post…*

or

The dentist inserted a post…*

or

A fellow who wrote for the Post…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Post
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A writer was offered a post
As an autobiographer’s ghost.
He would make lots of bread,
Though one dreadful clause read:
“If you boast that you wrote it, you’re toast.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Virtual Blog Tour: Welcome To My Mad World

Friday, July 25th, 2014

A wonderful poet, Daniel Ari, honored me with his invitation to participate in the Virtual Blog Tour. And if you’re not familiar with Daniel’s poetry, you owe it to yourself to pay his blog and his blog tour post a visit. Actually … many visits.

Wait. Where are you going? I didn’t mean for you to visit him right this very minute. You have to at least pretend to read my post first.

Okay, now that I’ve recaptured your attention, I should probably explain the concept behind the Virtual Blog Tour. As best as I can figure out, it’s a method of introducing our readers to other bloggers we admire. Every participant answers the same quartet of questions about his/her writing process. And, in theory at least, we all gain some new readers.

So, on to Question 1: What am I working on?

In theory, I’m pulling together three different humor books: a limerick collection, a humor column collection, and a third book that’s so hard to describe, it’s unlikely to ever happen.

Aside from my books-in-progress, I write tons of limericks every week. Okay, maybe not tons, but A LOT! I also write light verse in other forms, even sneaking humor into haiku. (Of course when I write funny haiku, I get yelled at for not calling them senryu.)

Additionally, I spend a good chunk of time running a weekly limerick contest: Mad Kane’s Limerick-Offs. You can always find the current contest here and the most recent winners here. (Everyone’s welcome to participate both here on my blog and on my Facebook page.)

Question 2: How does my work differ from others of its genre?

Well, for one thing, it’s written by an oboist turned lawyer turned humor writer. And for another, I stretch the boundaries of limericks by writing them about every topic imaginable: marriage, politics, taxes, death, petty aggravations, serious problems, etc., in a tone which varies from bawdy to satirical to serious, to silly — frequently writing multi-verse limericks. And if I want to be extra hard on myself, I sometimes even attempt acrostic limericks.

By the way, although I post most of my limericks on this blog, I have a second blog reserved for political limericks. Why a separate Political Madness Blog? Because many readers who enjoy this blog, hate my politics. Separate blogs help limit the bloodshed.

Question 3: Why do I write what I do?

Like most writers, I write what I write because I have to. There was a period when I had to write humor columns. Next there was a period when I had to write a satirical George W. Bush diary and political song parodies. And right now I seem to be in my have-to-write-limericks period.

(There was also a 14 year period when I had to write legal briefs. But trust me, you don’t want to hear about that.)

Question 4: How does my writing process work?

I’m always writing limericks — often at inconvenient times, like while showering … or sleeping. Unfortunately I have an awful memory, and can’t trust myself to remember anything. So jotting down ideas immediately is key. Deciphering those notes? Another matter altogether.

While much of my limerick inspiration seems to arrive out of the blue, I’m always actively on the hunt for limerick ideas. I make a point of doing lots of daily news reading, headline scanning, and visiting “what’s trending now” on Twitter, Facebook, and sundry search engines.

I read several political sites a day in my quest for politicians to mock and political issues to have fun with. I also check out several sites specializing in oddball news items, as well as Salon, Slate, Huffington Post, and other possible sources of quirky news items that might inspire me. (Dave Barry’s blog is an unusually good source of such items.)

Limerick inspiration often comes from stories about silly lawsuits, oddball inventions, strange holidays, and weird trends.

Family members, especially my husband Mark, can be a constant source of humor inspiration. (Fortunately Mark enjoys being the subject of limericks and humor columns.)

If I’m really lucky, a limerick just comes to me whole cloth. When that happens, it’s just a matter of writing it down and doing a quick edit. But other limericks present more of a challenge, especially when it comes to news-oriented and political limericks, where I have to pack a lot of info into the limerick and still follow the rules and make readers laugh. (Speaking of rules, you can find my article on how to write limericks here.)

I often start with a single line — either the first line or the last. And in framing that line I usually try to end it with a word that has lots of rhymes. After all, the more rhyme word choices I have, the better the odds of my managing to polish off an amusing limerick.

What happens when I can’t make a limerick work? I add it to an ever-growing digital document jam-packed with hundreds of limericks (and partial limericks) I can’t bear to give up on. And often, months later, I manage to rescue some of them. On the other hand, many have been languishing in that file for years, taunting me to fix or delete the damn things.

I should probably mention some tools I find handy: Rhymezone, while far from perfect, can be very useful. The Syllable Dictionary is helpful as well. And then there’s the wonderful Memidex Dictionary which, among other things, has an excellent audio component. I can’t imagine how I ever survived without it.

*****

So that’s it for my answers to the Virtual Blog Tour questions. At this point, I’m supposed to recommend three other poet bloggers who promise to answer the same four questions. But alas, everyone I invited (1) had already participated in this tour; (2) didn’t feel they had the time to commit to the tour; or (3) didn’t feel they could persuade three other poet bloggers to participate.

However, if you’re still hungering to be introduced to other limerick writers, please do check out my weekly Limerick of the Week Posts. While, most of the weekly winners don’t blog, they’re a funny group of limerick writers you’re sure to enjoy.

Bugged

Friday, July 18th, 2014

Bugged
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some insect made a sandwich
Of my knuckle, it appears.
My index finger hurts so much,
My eyes are raining tears.

I’m not sure what critter bit me.
Maybe wasp, mosquito, bee,
Or a literary critic–
“No more writing!” his decree.