Today’s Accuweather Headline: “Powerful storm to bury interior Northeast under heavy snow”
Dear Spring, I’m sure hoping you’ll shove
Winter out of the way. No kid glove!
I’m impatient as hell
For a mild weather spell.
Signed Madeleine Kane, with much love.
A Nor’easter is headed here soon.
With snow we are set to be strewn;
Twelve inches expected!
I’m feeling dejected,
As forecasters breathlessly swoon.
The snow in New York has begun.
We’ve been warned that the storm won’t be fun.
I’ve no forecasting skill;
My sci-knowledge is nil.
So my snowfall prediction? A ton!
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using VEER or SEVERE or REVERE or PERSEVERE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SNOW, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best snow-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on January 5, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you four full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 4, 2020 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my VEER-rhyme limerick:
When you’re driving your car, please don’t veer;
Sudden moves tend to fill me with fear.
Steer carefully, please.
Ouch my elbow! My knees!
We’ve arrived? I’m still living? Hear, hear!
And here’s my SNOW-themed limerick:
The weatherman’s acting excited:
New York City’s about to be smited
With a snow storm real big,
Which I really don’t dig.
And just why must he look so delighted?
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
“I am sick of the snow! Make it stop,”
I complained to a neighborhood cop.
“I’m sorry, Ms. Kane.
Weather’s NOT my domain.
Try that guy in the sky — it’s HIS op.”
I’m bracing to walk out the door
And face up to my shoveling chore.
How I’d love to ignore it,
Stay warm and ‘offshore’ it.
But it’s war; time to even the score.
Update: Last June, when I was bleeding all over the street and staring in horror at my exposed ulna, I couldn’t have imagined ever managing to shovel snow again. But I just did it. Yay!
It’s summer. It’s winter. It’s fall;
In the course of one week we’ve had all
Of those seasons and more.
What’s a calendar for?
I once knew, but no longer recall.
We lost power. It’s fixed, but I gird
For another bad outage. My word!
It’s a jerry-rigged mend!
Will it break, or just bend
If descended upon by a bird?
Author’s Note: We lost power last night, shortly after midnight, and were the first to call Con Ed. (Apparently our neighbors go to sleep early.)
Con Ed came quickly to assess the situation and then sent back a larger crew. And 9 or 10 hours later we had a temporary repair — a couple of wires tied to trees, stretched precariously from one house to another across the street.
The temp fix doesn’t look like it could withstand even a minor winter storm, and the real repair isn’t scheduled until February 6th. Yes that’s 2.5 weeks from now. So all fingers and toes are duly crossed.
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using ICE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SHOPPING, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SHOPPING-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 11, 2016, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 10, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
I’m a klutz who used FIGURE skates twice.
Would I try again? Never! No dice!
I kept fretting I’d fall,
Hit the wall, and then sprawl,
As I skated on very thin ice.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Mark recently posted his tale of blizzardy absent-mindedness here on Facebook. (Yes, I know “blizzardy” isn’t a word.) And I’ve decided to sum it up in a limerick:
My husband once did something whack;
Left his car window open a crack
In a blizzard, alas.
Snow flew over the glass
And got packed to the top, front to back.
It’s never a good sign when a snow plow has to be rescued by a bulldozer. But that’s what things were like in Bayside, Queens on Sunday.
You know that a blizzard is bad,
And the prospect of cleaning up sad,
When the snow plow gets stuck
In the ice, snow, and muck.
Going out over-rated? A tad!
When I shovel, I try to obey
The best shoveling way, which they say
Involves using one’s thighs.
So it’s not a surprise
That our staircase is daunting today.
Shoveling Duty (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s snowing, alas and alack,
And I just finished shov’ling — can’t slack
During storms this severe.
But I did it. Oh dear!
All the snow I removed has come back.
*****
Blizzard in progress.
I resent New York City
resembling Fargo.
*****
Oboe-playing years
armed my shoulders for shov’ling,
but failed to prep mind.
NOT Hailing This Storm (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A blizzard’s upon us. I’m worried,
Cuz in over a foot we’ll be buried.
The prelude is hail,
Then snow by the bale.
If only our snow flakes just flurried.
Mark and I are looking forward to the next heavy rain storm, since we don’t dare hope for a multi-day thaw. And until one or the other happens here in New York City, we won’t be able to use our back door (which opens out) or get into our yard.
My two-verse limerick explains all:
Who Needs A Door, Anyway?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Can’t exit our house from the back,
Cuz the door’s blocked by snowdrifts, alack!
We would shovel it free
If we could, but you see
We’ve no route to that snow we can track.
For the trail to that door’s through the yard.
And clearing that path’s more than hard.
For the yard gate is blocked
From inside, as if locked
By still more snow. Our entry is barred.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this as its first line:
There’s a hint of sweet spring in the air.
Here’s mine:
A Season For Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a hint of sweet spring in the air,
And I’m strolling outside, both arms bare.
Yes, I know it can’t last.
Winter surely will blast
One more storm, but right now I don’t care.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, you’re welcome to join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
I’m so sick of this snowy New York winter. And of all the fretful phone calls from my mother-in-law, warning hubby Mark about snow shoveling and heart attacks. Funny, she isn’t at all concerned about my heart.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Send Us Spring, STAT!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m achy from head down to toe.
The cause? I’ve been shoveling snow.
I wanted to punt,
But instead, did our front,
While my spouse did the rest — quid pro quo.
********
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the one up side of February which is coming up very soon: Valentines Day. And so happy Valentines day, especially to you fellows who may find this Valentines Day column helpful. Gals, you can thank me later.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
