Posts Tagged ‘Way2fractious’

Limerick of the Week (185)

Saturday, October 18th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to DAWN EPSTEIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A woman expected to fret
When her husband brought home a Corvette,
But she soon was elated;
The car had inflated
His under-extended pipette.

Congratulations to KEVIN AHERN, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

The fisherman now will not fret.
He’s in love with a lovely coquette
And knows that this lass
Will help him catch bass
Cuz he learned that her name is Annette.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Kirk Miller, Byron Ives, Tim James, Way2fractious a/k/a Noisemaker, Will T. Laughlin, Allen Wilcox, and Jon Gearhart. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Brian Allgar:

“There is really no reason to fret,
Your retriever is fine,” said the vet,
“But I fear you are not,
For your nose is quite hot
When it ought to be chilly and wet.”

Kirk Miller:

If the turf on your lawn dies, don’t fret.
Simply go to a sod farm. I’ll bet
They will have what you need.
You don’t have to plant seed.
Instant grassification you’ll get.

Byron Ives:

Mr. Favre told his players, “Don’t fret
We’re down by eight points, but I’m BRETT.
We’ve less than a minute
But we’re gonna win it,
As soon as I sext that brunette.”

Tim James:

A trapeze artist tended to fret
’Cause as partners he only could get
Gals named Nancy and Claire.
As he spun through the air,
He so wanted to work with Annette.

Way2fractious:

At the opera, Mame started to fret
That she may have misplaced her lorgnette,
But the music she heard
Sounded really absurd.
Was that 8-track or maybe cassette?

Will T. Laughlin:

Though Republicans claim that they fret
At the size of the National Debt,
Just promise one more
Irresistible war
And observe how excited they get.

Allen Wilcox:

A fellow was starting to fret
That his memr’y was starting to get
A bit odd now and then,
Especially when
He forgot what he hoped to forget.

Jon Gearhart:

Fingers press the right string to each fret;
Strumming lightly, our love song you’ll get.
Such melodious tones
Harmonize with your moans
As I tickle your G-string, my pet.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (183)

Saturday, October 4th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to JON GEARHART, who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:

As companies downsize and trim,
The outlook for some folks is grim.
Those in theater? Don’t be
Too surprised if you see
That it’s curtains for you (likely scrim.)

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Fred Bortz, Kirk Miller, Brian Allgar, Byron Ives, Way2fractious a/k/a Noisemaker, and Allen Wilcox. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Fred Bortz:

When he went to the mohel for a trim,
He avowed, “My conversion’s no whim.
It’s for wedding night pride.”
Said the mohel, “Bless your bride!”
The groom winked and replied, “It’s for him.”

Kirk Miller:

When some branches of bushes I trim,
I am hit in the eye by a limb.
The impact imparts
A whacking that smarts.
I’ve been bushwhacked. I’m feeling quite grim.

Brian Allgar:

She was elegant, pretty and trim;
I was bursting with sexual vim,
But my hard-on regressed
When the hooker undressed
And I found that the “her” was a “him.”

Byron Ives:

Crazy Kim was out painting her trim
When a sheriff showed up, very grim:
“Since you shot at John Dunn
With a blank starter gun,
You’ll be charged with a race crime, Miss Kim.”

Way2fractious:

Her body was svelte, sleek and trim,
For herself (and to look good for him),
Lest her frame become dense
And he stray o’er the fence–
Such domestic noblesse that we limn!

Allen Wilcox:

The pilot was trying to trim,
And the margin of error was slim.
He leveled off ’round
Twenty feet underground –
A landing admittedly grim.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!