A young woman who talks a blue streak,
Has a voice that’s a maddening shriek.
But although she is yappy,
Her hubby seems happy.
(It must help that the man’s an antique.)
Posts Tagged ‘Voice Humor’
The Shrieker (Limerick)
Friday, May 17th, 2024A Critical Difference (Limerick)
Thursday, April 18th, 2024Though it’s rare that I cavil or carp,
And on errors, I try not to harp,
I am ditched by my filter
When pitch is off-kilter;
My critique will be harsh — flat-out sharp!
A Close Call (Limerick)
Friday, September 29th, 2023A musician enjoying a fling
With a gal, almost bought her a ring.
What changed the man’s mind?
He was saddened to find
She mistakenly thinks she can sing.
A Vocal Complaint (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 9th, 2023As I sit on the seat that’s assigned me,
I’m assailed by a voice right behind me.
It’s so noisy and shrill,
That it’s making me ill.
How do people like that always find me?
Limerick Ode To Keith Olbermann
Monday, May 22nd, 2023I’ve been a fan of Keith Olbermann for as long as I can remember. And Mark and I have been enjoying his new podcast version of Countdown, ever since he launched it last August on iHeartMedia — Beethoven theme music and all.
But speaking of Beethoven, I have just one quibble: Although Keith has an outstanding speaking voice, his singing voice leaves a lot to be desired. So I’ve written this limerick in hopes of persuading Keith to cease singing Beethoven’s “Ode To Joy” whenever he’s overcome by schadenfreude … or at any other time, for that matter.
(Here’s a link to one of his “Ode To Joy” renditions, just in case you’re in a masochistic mood. It starts at minute fifteen of that podcast episode.)
Dear Keith, you’re a podcasting king.
I relish your wit and your zing.
And when you deploy
Your rants, I feel joy.
But PLEASE stop attempting to sing!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DRESS or adDRESS or reDRESS at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: November 12, 2022)
Saturday, October 15th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DRESS or adDRESS or reDRESS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SINGING, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SINGING-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: EYE, RAIL, RUSH, SEAT, SNAIL.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on November 13, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 12, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DRESS-Rhyme Limerick:
My sister just bawled out my niece:
“You’re unkempt and too sloppy, Elise.
You look like a mess!
Did you sleep in that dress?
I’m fed up! You must learn to de-crease.”
And here’s my SINGING-Themed Limerick:
A fellow who sang in a chorus
Tried out for the lead role in Boris.
“You are NOT good enough!”
Was the speedy rebuff.
“You sound like a sick stegosaurus.”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
A fellow who moved like a snail
Couldn’t help it; the old man was frail.
He’d been eyeing a seat
On the train, but was beat
By a boor also trav’ling by rail.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CHIP at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: September 17, 2022)
Saturday, August 20th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CHIP at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to RELAXATION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best RELAXATION-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: DEFECT, SMART, VOICE, SHAME, TASTE.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 18, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 17, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my CHIP-rhyme limerick:
A fellow who thought he was hip
And who bragged he’d invented a chip,
Would attempt to act cool,
But look like a fool;
Telltale chip-crumbs bespeckled his lip.
Here’s my RELAXATION-themed limerick:
A man was attempting to chill,
But his debt worries made him feel ill.
And all of his tries
To relax were unwise
Cuz they further inflated his bill.
And here is my RANDOM WORDS GENERATOR limerick:
With podcasts I’m highly selective;
Something witty and smart’s my objective.
Plus I must clear my choice
With my ears. If the voice
Is high-pitched, it’s, alas, deemed “defective.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick Ode To Karaoke
Monday, April 22nd, 2013Karaoke isn’t my thing because my singing voice is lousy. (Alas, there’s no connection between being able to play the oboe and having a dulcet singing voice.)
But since it’s National Karaoke Week (celebrated each year during the 4th week of April) I couldn’t resist posting this silly limerick:
Limerick Ode To Karaoke
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are people whose singing is croaky.
Some are pitchy — too high or too low-key.
But no matter your voice,
Almost all can rejoice
In this musical fun: Karaoke.
