Posts Tagged ‘VerseBender’
Sunday, July 15th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A parrot was proud of his skill.
He could learn any words you would drill.
But a problem occurred
When the man heard the bird
Say, “Come over when he’s at the mill.”
Congratulations to Robert Basler who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A fellow was proud of his skill
At signing his name with a quill.
Said his friend, Paul Revere,
“Put your John Hancock here!
“Make it large, we’ve got pages to fill!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) VerseBender, Edmund Conti, Bryan Coughlan, and Johanna Richmond. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Versebender:
A fellow was proud of his skill
Making moonshine inside of his still.
But his profits were few
In spite of his brew
‘Cause he’d swill every drop he’d distill.
Edmund Conti:
A fellow was proud of his skill
At giving his good wife a thrill.
Said she of his mountin’,
“I fear that your Fountain
Of Youth has gone over the hill.”
Bryan Coughlan:
A lawyer was proud of his skill,
Charged one pound of flesh for his bill.
That’s not just a saying.
His clients were paying.
So where there’s a weigh, there’s a will.
Johanna Richmond:
A fellow was proud of his skill
With the help of a little blue pill,
Till his paramour mumbled
A mouthful that humbled:
“It fills but the thrills, Will, are nil.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bryan Coughlan, Edmund Conti, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Robert Basler, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 3 Comments »
Saturday, July 7th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A moody young deb with a ‘tude
Found regattas could lighten her mood:
“Strokes and coxswains galore –
Each will put in his oar –
One can be so deliciously crewed!”
Congratulations to Kathy El-Assal who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A prudish young woman with ‘tude
Almost never was in the right mood.
Finding headaches passé
Her excuse was to say
“Doggie-style, when not yoga, is lewd.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jamie Hutchinson, Marla Turner, VerseBender, Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty, Edmund Conti, Jason Talbott, and Jane Auerbach. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jamie Hutchinson:
The sexy librarian’s ‘tude
Had a way of improving your mood:
You’d hand her a book
And receive such a look
That you felt both checked out and renewed.
Marla Turner a/k/a Uhave2laff:
A moody young woman with ‘tude
Had a curfew she really eschewed.
Her mother said, “Ten!”
She laughed and said, “Men?”
Then sat back as her mom came unglued.
Versebender:
A moody young woman with ‘tude
Would string along dude after dude.
She’d flirt and she’d tease
As if eager to please.
But the lady stayed coyly unscrewed.
Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty:
A moody young woman with ‘tude,
In line for the john, ballyhooed,
“Yo there, bride and your groom:
Get yourselves a real room.
There are others who want to be loo’d.”
Edmund Conti:
An earnest young poet with ‘tude
Said, I know I’m about to be screwed
For posting so late
On Madeleine’s slate.
My poem won’t be liked or be viewed.
Jason Talbott:
A moody young fellow with ‘tude
Once complained that he hated the food
Which was served at his school.
But the lunch lady’s rule:
You complain, you’ll be one hungry dude.
Jane Auerbach:
A moody male model with ‘tude
Was chagrined when the audience booed.
On a catwalk he’d tripped,
And his pants front had ripped,
Shredding padding on parts best unviewed.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Edmund Conti, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Auerbach, Jason Talbott, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Marla Turner, Nan Reiner, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 4 Comments »
Sunday, June 24th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to SisterAE who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A man who was never in doubt
Left his wife with a permanent pout.
Every secret he’d share,
And cute tips (like you care!)
On the things he knew nothing about.
Congratulations to Scott Crowder who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A man who is never in doubt,
Is a man we can all live without
Because he’ll refuse
To see other views,
And learn what real life is about.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kathy El-Assal, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Patrick McKeon, VerseBender, David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves, and Linda Fuller. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Kathy El-Assal:
When young she was never in doubt
About getting a surgical pout.
Now with lips like a fish
This actress’s wish
Is not to resemble a trout.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A guy was once never in doubt
That he just wasn’t really that stout,
Till he could not dislodge
Himself from his Dodge.
Triple A had to come pry him out.
Patrick McKeon:
A man who was never in doubt
Would pound on his bible and shout:
“If the Lord walked today
He would punish the gay.”
Then his elderly mother came out.
Versebender:
A man who was never in doubt
As to what this old world is about
Said, “Listen, my son
To Rule Number One:
Only money provides you with clout.”
David McCormick:
A Lim’ricker, never in doubt
That this week, his verse would win out,
Reached the end of line 3
BUT THEN ACCIDENT’LY
HIT CAPS LOCK AND WAS TOLD NOT TO SHOUT.
Linda Fuller:
A man who was tortured by doubt
Joined a cult and became quite devout.
He gave them his money,
Ate raw eggs with honey
And worshipped a virginal trout.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: David McCormick, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Linda Fuller, Patrick McKeon, Scott Crowder, SisterAE, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 7 Comments »
Saturday, June 16th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jason Talbott who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A man who is very astute
Knows that sometimes it’s best to stay mute.
If your girl asks on chat,
“Do you think that I’m fat?”
Just pretend that you have to reboot.
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A man who was very astute
Had dress stores that made lots of loot.
The women would flock
To buy a new frock,
For his clerks were well hung and quite cute.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Patrick McKeon, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Scott Crowder, Jamie Hutchinson, Johanna Richmond, and VerseBender. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Patrick McKeon:
A man who was very astute
At a concert for lute and for flute,
Knew the show would be bad
And the audience mad,
So he brought a large crate with bad fruit.
Veralynne Bosko Pepper:
A girl who was very astute
Was also alarmingly cute.
She’d use men for their money
By promising honey–
When promise time came she would scoot!
Scott Crowder:
A gal who was very astute
Received very little repute.
And because of her dress,
She is doomed to earn less
Than a swinging dick wearing a suit.
Jamie Hutchinson:
The trombonist was very astute,
Placed behind the young belle who played flute:
He worked his big slide
Without letting it ride
And “protected” the girl with a mute.
Johanna Richmond:
A gal who was hardly astute
But knew how to wink and look cute
Morphed from sweet Miss Wasilla
To Fox News Attila;
We all wish she’d stuck to the flute.
Versebender:
A man who was very astute
Found his checkbook just did not compute.
So he said to his wife,
“I can’t for my life
Figure what you have done with our loot.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jason Talbott, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Patrick McKeon, Scott Crowder, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 9 Comments »
Sunday, April 29th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A woman was off on a quest
To give her poor backbone a rest.
Got her 36-Es
Sculpted into pert Cs
And said, “Glad I got THAT off my chest.”
Further congratulations are in order to Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty who also wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for very same limerick which received the most Facebook “likes. (This is the first time the same person won both awards.)
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) J Cosmo Newbery, Robert Basler, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, VerseBender, Scott Crowder, Craig Dykstra, and Kathy El-Assal. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
J Cosmo Newbery:
A fellow was off on a quest
To find a young lady, undressed.
As his opening line
Was “Your place or mine?”
The ladies were far from impressed.
Robert Basler:
A fellow was off on a quest,
For the best food in all Budapest.
His wife said, “Eureka!
“Such tasty paprika!”
Her husband said, “Shirley, you jest.”
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A woman was off on a quest
To protect every thing she possessed.
Should she put it in stock?
In a safe with a lock?
Or would under her mattress be best?
Versebender:
A fellow was off on a quest
To give his libido a test.
So he took on a bunch
Of ladies who lunch,
But all he wants now is some rest.
Scott Crowder:
A woman was off on a quest,
To put office rumors to rest.
“I was showing the Boss,
The right way to floss,
And that stuff on my lips was just Crest.”
Craig Dykstra:
A big-breasted gal had a quest:
To, in lieu of a bra, wear a vest.
But the cargo unloaded
As buttons exploded,
Surprising her dinner date guest.
Kathy El-Assal:
A fellow was off on a quest
To put climbing skills to the test.
He mounted his bride
And went for a ride,
Then said, “I’ve just peaked, now I’ll rest.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Craig Dykstra, J Cosmo Newbery, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Nan Reiner, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Robert Basler, Scott Crowder, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest | 7 Comments »
Sunday, April 22nd, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Colleen Murphy who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A man was recounting his woes
After leaving his gal in the throes.
“If I’d known,” he did sob,
“She was part of the mob,
I’d still have ten fingers and toes.”
Congratulations to Craig Dykstra who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
Bambi told Thumper his woes
When he found out his sisters were ho’s.
“They confirm they’re not queer
When the bucks all stop here –-
They’ll do dese, but they will not do does.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, VerseBender, Ira Bloom, David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves, and John Sardo. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A gal was recounting her woes
As she dressed in her old running clothes,
“Now my races are short
I am sad to report
But there IS a long run in my hose!”
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A man was recounting his woes
Of nights with Colombian hoes:
“In old Cartagena,
The hookers are plainer
Than agents were led to suppose.”
Versebender:
A man was recounting his woes
As pushing his mower, he mows.
Then he tripped on a root
And ran over his boot.
So now he’s recounting his toes.
Ira Bloom:
A man was recounting his woes,
As he guzzled expensive Bordeaux:
“On my capital gains,
Taxes caused me such pains,
That this year I can’t buy more van Goghs.”
David McCormick:
The Queen was recounting her woes;
“One’s 23rd time in Tussaud’s!
And each time they’ve sculpted
More wrinkles!” she gulped, “It
Quite makes one reluctant to pose.”
John Sardo:
A gal was recounting her woes
She invested in stock that soon froze.
It soared with the bubble,
Then crumbled to rubble.
So that’s how the market wind blows.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Colleen Murphy, Craig Dykstra, David Lefkovits, David McCormick, Ira Bloom, John Sardo, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 3 Comments »
Sunday, January 29th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to JANE SHELTON HOFFMAN who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A man with a very full plate
Ordinarily had to work late,
But his young, lovely wife
Had her own secret life.
Let’s just say her masseur was quite straight.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Colleen Murphy, J Cosmo Newbery, Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly, Versebender, and Johanna Richmond. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Colleen Murphy:
A gal with a very full plate
Went out on her very first date,
But with ten minutes gone
It was time to move on,
So she jilted her dumbfounded mate.
J Cosmo Newbery:
A man with a very full plate
Ignored the allure of his date.
“The main course is divine,
Then there’s cake, cheese and wine;
The entree will just have to wait.”
Bryon Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly:
A nymphet with a personal plate
Would slow down and cause traffic to wait.
As men drove up behind her
They read this reminder:
IALWZGVHEDWNID8
Versebender:
A man with a very full plate
Had no time to look for a mate.
So he ordered online
A companion divine
That all he need do is inflate.
Johanna Richmond:
Bachman’s man has a very full plate,
What with legions of gays to set straight.
But his “pray away” swagger,
Suggests the old wagger
May have tried out the rear pearly gate.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Byron Miller, Colleen Murphy, J Cosmo Newbery, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest | 2 Comments »
Sunday, June 12th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Competition was extra strong this week, and I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to VERSEBENDER who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Had a spread in a big magazine.
But the shoot turned out lewd
‘Cause he cooked in the nude.
Some utensils are best left unseen.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Lynette Killam, Lewis Evans, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Johanna Richmond, and Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Lynette Killam:
A woman who loved fine cuisine
Gave up struggling to keep herself lean.
She finally said,
“I’ll be thin when I’m dead…
I’d much rather be chubby than mean!”
Lewis Evans:
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Was a cereal killing machine.
His obsession with grits
Rendered turbo-charged shits,
Wasting all who passed by his latrine.
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
While camping with mujahedeen
Would freshly bake scones
While running from drones
And filling up flasks with benzene.
Johanna Richmond:
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
When served subpar supper, got mean;
His waitress, fed up,
Snarled, “Go elsewhere to sup;
Sir, our liver don’t merit your spleen!”
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
When tipping was stingy and mean.
“My custom is still
Two percent of the bill.”
The spit in his soup went unseen.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: David Lefkovits, Johanna Richmond, Lewis Evans, Limerick Of The Week, Lynette Killam, Phyllis Sterling Smith, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limericks | 6 Comments »
Sunday, June 5th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the four Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to DAISY MAE SIMON who wins Limerick of the Week for this amusingly clever two-verse limerick:
A fellow was in a bad mood
When his girlfriend, he learned, was a prude.
As he tried to seduce her
She said “That’s ABUSE, sir!
Stop letting your penis protrude!”
Second thoughts changed her mind and her mood.
She’d really not meant to be rude.
After all, he was cute.
He had quite a salute.
But too late, he’d been verbally screwed.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brenda Bryant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes, VerseBender, Elaine Spall, and Martin T. Hodges. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Brenda Bryant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes:
A fellow was in a bad mood;
He had swallowed a fly with his food.
As he coughed and he spluttered
Those nearest him muttered
“Those noises are terribly rude!”
VerseBender:
A fellow was in a bad mood
As he lay there distraught in the nude.
Other women had said
He was worthless in bed,
But this was the first time one booed.
Elaine Spall:
A woman was in a bad mood
Cause she couldn’t stop thinking of food.
Then she said “Better try it…
This new sticky diet…”
And painfully had her lips glued.
Martin T. Hodges:
A fellow was in a bad mood
After seeing himself in the nude.
He was down in the mouth
As his eyes travelled south
Where the length of his age could be viewed.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Brenda Bryant, Daisy Mae Simon, Elaine Spall, Limerick Of The Week, Martin T. Hodges, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limericks | 9 Comments »
Sunday, May 29th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and four Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to PATRICK MCGUIRE who wins Limerick of the Week for this charming verse:
A fellow went out on a date
And proudly showed off his best trait.
The woman was awed
And loud did applaud,
But now she complains that she’s late.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) VerseBender, Catherine Palmer, Steve Vitoff, and David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
VerseBender:
A fellow went out on a date,
But found himself deep in debate.
You want to get kissed
Instead of dismissed?
Leave politics at the front gate.
Catherine Palmer:
A woman went out on a date
With a fellow who made her irate.
He showed up at her door
Like a john for his whore
And proceeded to ask for her rate.
Steve Vitoff:
A woman went out on a date.
But her date she began to berate.
She’d freak when he’d speak
And critique his physique.
Rest assured, they did not conjugate.
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A woman went out on a date.
That started and ended at eight:
“His chiseled physique
Would render me weak,
So I’m leaving before it’s too late.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Catherine Palmer, David Lefkovits, Limerick Of The Week, Patrick McGuire, Steve Vitoff, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week | 7 Comments »
Sunday, May 1st, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and four Honorable Mentions (three single verse limericks and one multiverse limerick.)
Congratulations to DAVID LEFKOVITS a/k/a Dr. Goose who wins Limerick of the Week for this excellent limerick:
A woman who loved a good fight
Would demand, as she argued all night,
Philosophical heft
From those on the left
And empirical proof from the right.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, VerseBender, Paul Andrew Russell, and Patrice Stewart a/k/a Patrice of the ManyCats. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A woman who loved a good fight
Invited to dinner one night
A catholic, a Jew,
Palestinians too.
They kissed and made up out of spite!
VerseBender:
A woman who loved a good fight
Said, “Darlin’, you know it’s all right
The reason I’m itchin’
To get in some bitchin’:
The making up part’s a delight!”
Paul Andrew Russell:
A fellow who loved a good fight
Would go on a rumble all night.
He’d punch and he’d jeer,
Fueled on gallons of beer.
Then strut off to bed at first light.
Patrice Stewart a/k/a Patrice of the ManyCats:
A fellow who loved a good fight
Took on inner demons each night.
They’d roll, tumble, wrestle,
His body the vessel ~
A bone-chilling, hair-raising sight.
He’d chortle and shout out with glee,
“You’ll not get the better of me!
Mephistopheles, please:
You’re just a big tease!
I’ll win soon, and then I’ll be free…”
He leapt, intercepted the horde,
Sharp blade sweeping down as they roared…
Came the dawn, not a peep
As he smiled, deep in sleep ~
Grasp firm on invisible sword.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions. There were so many good ones, narrowing them down to the best five was quite a challenge.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: David Lefkovits, Limerick Of The Week, Patrice Stewart, Paul Andrew Russell, Phyllis Sterling Smith, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week | 13 Comments »
Sunday, April 24th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and three Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to JOHANNA RICHMOND who wins Limerick of the Week for this very amusing verse:
A gal with a very long name
Had one quirk when she stoked a man’s flame:
Full names she desired
So lovers required
Phonetical flair when they came.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) VerseBender, Elaine Spall, and Scott Crowder. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
VerseBender:
A guy with a very long name
Made quite a remarkable claim:
I’ve a tattoo concealed
That is only revealed
When ladies consent to inflame.
Elaine Spall:
A guy with a very long name
As a Doc, earned a quick rise to fame.
So sad, the essentials
Of all his credentials
Could not be contained in a frame.
Scott Crowder:
A guy with a very long name,
was playing a dangerous game,
with the West and Mossad,
Ahmed-din-a-zhod,
may soon set the Mid-East aflame.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Elaine Spall, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Of The Week, Scott Crowder, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week | 5 Comments »
Sunday, April 17th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and five Honorable Mentions (four single verse limericks and one multiverse limerick.)
Congratulations to David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet,
When asked what she wanted to eat,
Attracted a crowd
While enthusing aloud
How she savored the taste of jerked meat.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) VerseBender, Tilly Bud, Stan Ski, Victoria Ceretto-Slotto, and Patrice Stewart a/k/a Patrice of the ManyCats. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
VerseBender:
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Was really quite full of deceit
For under her sweater
Was nature made better
(If you like the feel of concrete)
Tilly Bud:
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
Had a terrible hunger for meat.
She ate first her brother,
Dad, sister and mother,
Then polished off folk in her street.
Stan Ski:
A girl who seemed guileless and sweet
Wrote a note on a boat in the Fleet
‘Dear Captain…’ she penned
‘Our romance must end
First we meet, then you cheat… you’re dead meat…!’
Victoria Ceretto-Slotto:
A girl who seemed guileless and sweet
on an evening of simmering heat
declared “Life is a bore;
“there’s just got to be more.”
Now you’ll find her out working the street.
Patrice Stewart a/k/a Patrice of the ManyCats:
A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
For her fiancé judge, planned a treat:
Into chambers she barged
Purring, “Guilty, as charged!”
Doffed her raincoat, ensemble complete.
He inquired, “You a perp or a vic?”
Grinned and stretched: “Well, we’d better be quick!”
Silken strides, no words uttered:
Quite impressed, the judge muttered,
“Something tells me those charges won’t stick.”
Then doors opened to Counsel (Opposing):
“Whoops, Judge, I had thought you were dozing!”
The couple froze, glaring;
He leered, “Thanks for sharing
Your pairing: A coup for my closing!”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions. There were so many good ones, narrowing them down to the best six was quite a challenge.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: David Lefkovits, Limerick Of The Week, Patrice Stewart, Stan Ski, Tilly Bud, VerseBender, Victoria Ceretto-Slotto, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limericks | 10 Comments »
Sunday, March 27th, 2011
We have a new Limerick of the Week winner, based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and three Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to Johanna Richmond, who submitted two excellent limericks. Johanna wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:
A woman was terribly late
For her first in this century date.
She later confessed
She skipped getting dressed
And skyped in her natural state.
And congratulations to the Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Edmund Weisberg, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, and VerseBender. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Edmund Weisberg:
A fellow was terribly late
Having died in the midst of his date,
Leaving diners aghast
At the lurid repast,
As his date polished off ev’ry plate.
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A fellow was terribly late
Understanding the current debate.
When told that inflation
Would ruin the nation
He asked, “Are we all overweight?”
VerseBender:
A fellow was terribly late
Which didn’t sit well with his date.
“My promise of heaven
Was valid at seven
But promptly expired at eight.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions. There were so many good ones, narrowing them down to the best four was quite a challenge.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Edmund Weisberg, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week | 2 Comments »
Sunday, March 20th, 2011
In last week’s Limerick-Off post I announced, as an experiment, a Limerick Of The Week contest. Basically, the best limerick submitted here and/or on Facebook using my upset first line, would be crowned Limerick Of The Week.
Well, my experiment worked even better than I’d hoped — so well, that I plan to make this a weekly event. In fact, you submitted so many excellent limericks, that choosing a winner was tough. But I rose to the challenge and I’m really pleased to announce this week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus three Honorable Mentions … just in time for World Poetry Day.
Congratulations to Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith. She submitted several fine limericks and hereby wins Limerick Of The Week for this one:
A fellow was very upset.
He’d climbed mountains in highest Tibet,
Taken loans without fear
To pay Sherpas, buy gear.
Now he can’t climb his mountain of debt.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Versebender, and co-writers (not to mention married couple) Catherine Palmer and Ron Mardix. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A fellow was very upset
And filled with remorse and regret
That, instead of The Times,
His limerick rhymes
Appeared in the local Gazette.
Versebender:
A fellow was very upset
About words he had come to regret
Like calling her Dee
When her name was Marie
In the heat of a passionate sweat.
Catherine Palmer and Ron Mardix:
A fellow was very upset
Online he did meet a brunette.
When they kissed at her door
He but fell to the floor.
Her male package he’d never forget.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions. In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Catherine-Ron Mardix, David Lefkovits, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week | 7 Comments »
