Posts Tagged ‘Veralynne Bosko Pepper’

Limerick of the Week (82)

Saturday, October 6th, 2012

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Carolyn Henly, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A waitress trés prone to dismay
Had a beautiful tray to display.
But she tripped on a peel,
Went head over heel,
And ended up wholly distrait.

Congratulations to Jesse Levy who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

A fellow expressed his dismay
At having to work every day.
His doctor said stress
Would harm him much less
If he sat back and lit up a jay.

Congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Daniel Ari, RJ Clarken, Johanna Richmond, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Marty McCullen, John Sardo, and Bruce Niedt. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Daniel Ari:

A fellow displayed his dismay:
“I came all this way to the Bay.
But I can’t understand
The lay of the land
That they said was the land of the lay.”

RJ Clarken:

A clergyman showed his dismay
At his obvious naiveté
Since a ‘lady’ he met
Conned him. Now deep in debt,
He’s much wiser to cute Birds of Pray.

Johanna Richmond:

Giving birth, she displayed her dismay
When it seemed she’d been pushing all day.
“I don’t want to be snipped!”
“That’s OK,” hubby quipped.
“When I need you I’ll take the back way.”

Veralynne Bosko Pepper:

A woman displayed her dismay.
Her hotel john had just a bidet!
Trepidatious at first,
Though she thought she might burst,
She tried it and stayed there all day!

Marty McCullen:

A fellow displayed his dismay
At why all his hair had turned gray.
He wasn’t that old,
Or so he was told,
But hair seems to have the last say.

John Sardo:

A fellow betrayed his dismay
At his wife who would quickly display
Her elegant charms
In friends’ eager arms:
He said, “Honey, at least make them pay.”

Bruce Niedt:

Young Hester displayed her dismay
That her rep in Sex Ed could hold sway.
“They think that I’m sultry.
Inured in adult’ry –
It’s a class where I don’t want an ‘A’.”

And congratulations to Johanna Richmond and Craig Dykstra who jointly win this special Limerick Repartee Award for this limerick exchange:

Johanna Richmond:

A fellow displays his dismay
With a grunt and a “what can I say?”
A woman, however,
Is likely to sever
Your schnitzel and let you decay.

Craig Dykstra:

As a guy, I express my dismay
At the lim’rick I read here today.
Though YOU think it’s clever
That schnitzel you sever
Is an image that won’t go away!

Johanna Richmond:

I’m so sorry I caused you dismay.
It was meant in a figur’tive way:
If it festers, why dance?
Just go straight for the lance —
There’s no need for a verbal ballet.

But you’re right; I have gotten too loose;
Cutting words can still feel like abuse.
Please forget what I said;
Insert this jab instead:
“A swift kick to your cocky caboose.”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (66)

Saturday, June 16th, 2012

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Jason Talbott who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A man who is very astute
Knows that sometimes it’s best to stay mute.
If your girl asks on chat,
“Do you think that I’m fat?”
Just pretend that you have to reboot.

Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

A man who was very astute
Had dress stores that made lots of loot.
The women would flock
To buy a new frock,
For his clerks were well hung and quite cute.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Patrick McKeon, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Scott Crowder, Jamie Hutchinson, Johanna Richmond, and VerseBender. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Patrick McKeon:

A man who was very astute
At a concert for lute and for flute,
Knew the show would be bad
And the audience mad,
So he brought a large crate with bad fruit.

Veralynne Bosko Pepper:

A girl who was very astute
Was also alarmingly cute.
She’d use men for their money
By promising honey–
When promise time came she would scoot!

Scott Crowder:

A gal who was very astute
Received very little repute.
And because of her dress,
She is doomed to earn less
Than a swinging dick wearing a suit.

Jamie Hutchinson:

The trombonist was very astute,
Placed behind the young belle who played flute:
He worked his big slide
Without letting it ride
And “protected” the girl with a mute.

Johanna Richmond:

A gal who was hardly astute
But knew how to wink and look cute
Morphed from sweet Miss Wasilla
To Fox News Attila;
We all wish she’d stuck to the flute.

Versebender:

A man who was very astute
Found his checkbook just did not compute.
So he said to his wife,
“I can’t for my life
Figure what you have done with our loot.”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (62)

Saturday, May 19th, 2012

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A gal in an overpriced store
Got stopped as she walked out the door.
“What alerted you, sir?”
“Well, you’re wearing a fur,
And it’s 98 out, if not more.”

Congratulations to Jamie Hutchinson who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

The Prez bought an overpriced store
Of supplies for the Middle East war.
The dealers were sharks,
The bombs missed their marks,
And the Congress declared, “Buy some more!”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Elizabeth Civinskas a/k/a Mrs.Smeej, Johanna Richmond, Bruce Niedt, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Daniel Ari, and Colleen Murphy. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Elizabeth Civinskas:

A gal in an overpriced store
Said, shocked to the depths of her core:
“With prices so high
“There should be a guy
“To carry me in from the door.”

Johanna Richmond:

A man in an overpriced store
Embarrassed his wife to the core:
While the one percent stared,
Indiscreetly he aired,
“JC Penney’s got dresses galore!”

Bruce Niedt:

A gal in an overpriced store
Found herself a nice Christian Dior,
But they thought her a lout,
And said, kicking her out,
“You pronounce it cou-TURE, not cou-TOR!”

Veralynne Bosko Pepper:

A gal in an overpriced store
Tried a dress on so tight that it tore.
Embarrassed to death
She started on meth,
And pounds! Well, she lost ‘em galore!

Daniel Ari:

A man in an overpriced store
Said, “Show me some more, I implore.
This past Mother’s Day
I forgot. Now I’ll pay
Restitution by Christian Dior.”

Colleen Murphy:

A gal in an overpriced store
Somehow slipped on a spot on the floor.
Her lawyer she dialed;
A lawsuit he filed,
Which led to an overpriced score.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (38)

Sunday, December 4th, 2011

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:

Congratulations to IRA BLOOM who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:

A fellow whose last dime was spent
On toner, proceeded to vent:
“That HP ink-jet
We were eager to get
Now’s the printer of our discontent.”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Edmund Conti, Robert Schechter, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Jane Shelton Hoffman, and Arthur Goikhman a/k/a SurrealGames. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Edmund Conti:

A fellow whose last dime was spent
Decided to sell his one stent.
His search was in vain.
Do I need to explain
That pun which you’ll come to resent?

Robert Schechter:

A woman whose last dime was spent
Entertaining an indigent gent,
Said, “I’m such a dumb bunny.
I thought he had money!
But that’s not what ‘indigent’ meant.”

Veralynne Bosko Pepper:

A woman whose last dime was spent
Found the key to her lock box was bent.
Oh, what could she do?
Solicit a screw?
In a blur, to the bar off she went.

Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:

A fellow whose last dime was spent,
Not despairing, went on to invent
A money machine
Like none before seen.
Can you guess to which prison he went?

Jane Shelton Hoffman:

A fellow whose last dime was spent
Had no money for food or for rent.
He committed a crime
So he could do time
And live on the taxpayers’ cent.

Arthur Goikhman a/k/a SurrealGames:

A fellow whose last dime was spent
On proving he had no intent
Was guilty as sin
But savored his win,
Since no one dug up the cement.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

Limerick of the Week (30)

Saturday, October 8th, 2011

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog, on Facebook, and on GooglePlus) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:

Congratulations to J COSMO NEWBERY who wins Limerick of the Week for this very clever verse:

A guy in the mood for a bite
Ate a candle and half a flashlight.
“I’m on a new diet,
I urge you to try it,
Now I’m lighter but not very bright.”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Veralynne Bosko Pepper, RJ Clarken, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Mark Megson, and Pari Cooper. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Veralynne Bosko Pepper:

A guy in the mood for a bite
Stepped out, in a cape, for the night.
It was foggy and gray.
WOW! He LOVED it that way!
Let’s see now … whose neck’s the right height?

RJ Clarken:

A gal in the mood for a bite
Gets a call for a dinner invite.
Andrew Zimmern’s her date:
Bizarre food’s on the plate.
Change of mood. She says, “Fasting tonight.”

Jane Shelton Hoffman:

A guy in the mood for a bite
Told a gal who was not very bright,
“Just give me a taste
Of your soft, little waist,
and I promise that’s all for the night.”

Mark Megson:

A guy in the mood for a bite
Found a tasty one during his flight:
The air hostess’s rear
Was deliciously near.
He gave the poor girl quite a fright.

Pari Cooper:

A gal in the mood for a bite
Thought she’d thaw something out for that night.
When she opened the freezer,
The sight didn’t please her.
In fact she lost all appetite.

When the stench from the box hit the air,
She thought she saw something like hair!
A whole body dismembered,
But then she remembered,
She’d bought Dahmer’s old Frigidaire!

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.