Posts Tagged ‘Time Humor’
Saturday, January 27th, 2024
For some inexplicable reason, today, January 27th, is “Punch The Clock Day.”
“Punch The Clock Day’s” (I’ll wager) a crock.
Why celebrate methods to dock
Someone’s pay? It’s absurd!
Moreover, I’m spurred
When awakened to punch that damn clock!
Tags: Alarm Clocks, January Holidays, Money Humor, Odd Holidays, Punch Clocks, Sleep Humor, Sleep Limerick, Time Humor, Time Limerick, Wages Humor, Workplace Humor, Workplace Limerick
Posted in Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Odd Holidays, Time Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on Another Useless “Holiday” (Limerick)
Saturday, March 11th, 2023
If you live in a part of our nation
That creates DST irritation
Via forward or back
Clock adjustments, alack!
Spring ahead for some sleep deprivation!
Tags: Clock Humor, Daylight Saving Time, Daylight Savings Time, DST Humor, DST Limerick, Insomnia Humor, Insomnia Limerick, March Holidays, Sleep Humor, Sleep Limerick, SpringForward, SpringForwardDay, Time Humor, Time Verse
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Celebrations Poetry, Celebrity Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays, Seasons Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Time Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To DST
Saturday, November 5th, 2022
Tags: Clocks Limerick, Daylight Savings Time, DST Humor, Eastern Time, Insomnia, Insomnia Humor, Insomnia Verse, Sleep, Standard Time, Time Humor, Time Verse
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays, Seasons Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Time Humor | Comments Off on Here We Go Again With The Clocks (Haiku)
Saturday, March 12th, 2022
I’ve been told to “Spring forward!” Can’t do!
With my knees? Are you kidding? I’m through:
No more jumping and running
And springing! I’m shunning
Such acts. You mean “clock movement?” Whew!
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Aging Limerick, Clocks Limerick, Daylight Saving Time, Daylight Savings Time, DST, DST Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Holiday Poetry, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, SpringForward, SpringForwardDay, Standard Time, Time Humor, Time Verse
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Seasons Humor, Time Humor | Comments Off on An Age Old Protest (Limerick)
Wednesday, December 15th, 2021
We were packed and all ready to jet
To a beachfront resort, when “Not yet,”
Said my wife. “I must go
Get my hair curled by Flo.”
Hours later: “Let’s leave. I’m all set.”
(For the record, I don’t have a wife. But I do have a procrastinating husband with no concept of time.)
Tags: Delays Humor, Delays Limerick, Hair Humor, Hair Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Time Humor, Time Limerick, Travel Humor, Travel Limerick, Vacation Humor, Vacation Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Holiday Humor, Idiom Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Physical Appearance, Procrastination Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Time Humor, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor, Vacation Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Exit Interruptus
Tuesday, November 2nd, 2021
Bought a grandfather clock — famous brand.
(It is lauded throughout our great land.)
But the time it displays
Has been faulty for days.
That’s the last time I buy secondhand.
Tags: Clock Humor, Clock Limerick, Grandfather Clock, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Secondhand Humor, Secondhand Limerick, Secondhand Purchases, Shopping Humor, Shopping Limerick, Time Humor, Time Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Shopping Humor, Time Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Timeless Limerick
Wednesday, August 11th, 2021
In case you’re wondering, Mark has NEVER had to say this to me:
Please don’t dally; you’re wasting our time.
We are late, so stop playing with rhyme.
Stare at RhymeZone tonight,
Or we’ll miss our damn our flight.
Let’s leave while I’m still in my prime.
Tags: Distractions, Obsession Verse, Rhyme Humor, Rhyming Obsession, Time Humor, Time Limerick, Travel Humor, Travel Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Obsessions Humor, Time Humor, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | Comments Off on Dalliance With Delay (Limerick)
Thursday, August 5th, 2021
Mark’s retired. Congrats! He’s now free
To play twenty-four-seven with ME.
But one question: Just when
Is my down time to pen
Silly lim’ricks? (I might have to flee.)
Tags: Employment Humor, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Retirement Humor, Retirement Limerick, Time Humor, Time Limerick, Workplace & Career Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Time Humor, Workplace & Career Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | Comments Off on Retirement Quandary (Limerick)
Saturday, July 11th, 2015
I’d like the freedom
to not write haiku today,
but my brain insists.
*****
I am at the stage
where I like being on stage
with or without one.
*****
My near-rhyme rejects
turned limerick leftovers
find homes in haiku.
*****
I’m often impressed
by the drawing power
of unknown painters.
*****
Forgive and forget?
I keep meaning to forgive,
but I forget to.
*****
Your belief system
makes you feel superior?
Then it’s failing you.
*****
My muse goes yonder
as I wander in wonder
at time I squander.
*****
Spiders and crawlers
are welcome in my domain
if sent by Google.
*****
I should have prepared
for extemporization
but ran out of time.
*****
Music needs pauses;
I get restless when a piece
doesn’t have any.
*****
Tags: Absent-Minded, Art Humor, Google Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Muse, Music Humor & Verse, Time Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Art Humor / Verse, Haiku & Senryu, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Time Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | 1 Comment »
Thursday, April 18th, 2013
I’ll bet you didn’t know that April 18th is Idiom Idiocy Day. How do you celebrate it? By using idioms amusingly in verse, jokes, or short prose.
Limerick Ode To Idiom Idiocy Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was biding his time
And refusing to get off the dime.
He was dragging his feet
And could not take the heat.
His idiom use? It’s a crime!
Author’s Note: Idiom Idiocy Day is a brand new annual holiday established by none other than MOI. Why? Because it doesn’t exist, and it NEEDS to.
Tags: April Holidays, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Idioms Humor, Language Satire, Odd Holidays, Time Humor
Posted in Holiday Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 9 Comments »
Wednesday, June 6th, 2012
Miss Rumphius asks us to write about the passage of time:
Time’s “Flight” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It is said that “time flies,” but that’s wrong,
Cuz the flights I’ve been on take too long.
I think time really flees
In a flash. It’s a tease,
Speeding fast as a dreadful act’s gong.
Tags: Airplane Trips, Flying Humor, Gong Show, Time Flies, Time Humor
Posted in Limericks, Time Humor, Travel Humor | Comments Off on Time’s “Flight” (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 31st, 2011
Prompted to write a school-related haiku, I ended up with a tanka. I just couldn’t seem to fit this true tale into a mere seventeen syllables:
Classroom clock won’t move,
its hands dulled by droning prof,
who catches my stare
and yells, “If you’re bored, then go.”
Lesson learned — I take my leave.
*****
Continuing with an education theme, I’ve used Three Word Wednesday’s drag, mumble, penetrate prompt in this haiku:
Penetrating mind
who mumbles at his lectern —
a scholarly drag.
*****
Drop the “f” from “flaws”
and you’re left with the word “laws,”
most of which are flawed.
*****
What greater pleasure
than a standing ovation
from the man you love.
*****
Tags: Education & School Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Legal Verse, Marriage Verse, Tanka, Time Humor
Posted in Education & School Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Tanka | 23 Comments »
Wednesday, June 1st, 2011
Demanding Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow with time on his hands
Was making incessant demands.
“I’m busy, you’re not,”
Said his wife, getting hot.
“So take care of your own manly glands.”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Husband Wife Limerick, Intercourse Humor, Male Anatomy Humor, Male Reproductive System, Masturbation Humor, Time Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Marriage Humor, Time Humor | 11 Comments »
Sunday, March 20th, 2011
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus three Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was terribly late…
or
A woman was terribly late…
Here’s mine:
Late Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was terribly late
To a job meeting key to his fate.
The job seemed a lock
Till he mis-set his clock,
But at least he remembered the date.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Lateness Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Time Humor, Workplace & Career Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Time Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 36 Comments »
Saturday, March 12th, 2011
Limerick Ode To Daylight Saving Time
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Our clocks all need changing tonight.
Daylight Saving Time — oh what a blight!
We may think it a crock,
But must alter each clock
Till the powers that be see the light.
(More DST humor here.)
Tags: Clocks Limerick, Daylight Saving Time, Daylight Savings Time, DST, DST Humor, Holiday Poetry, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, SpringForward, SpringForwardDay, Standard Time, Time Humor, Time Verse
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Holiday Humor, Odd Holidays, Seasons Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Time Humor | 8 Comments »
Sunday, March 14th, 2010
Are you as sick as I am of our twice-yearly clock-adjustment ritual? Do you think, as I do, that we have more than enough daylight and that there’s no need to save any?
I’m sorry, but my internal clock is sufficiently confused and doesn’t need Daylight Savings Time to make my chronic insomnia even worse. And I’m inclined to clock the next person who reminds me to change my damn clocks.
Save Me From Daylight Savings Time (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My natural clock is a mess.
Just thinking of sleep gives me stress.
Spring forward—fall back
Makes me more out of whack.
So I don’t change my clocks — I just guess.
(More DST humor here.)
Tags: Clocks Limerick, Daylight Savings Time, DST Humor, Holiday Poetry, Insomnia Humor, March Holidays, Standard Time, Time Humor, Time Verse
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Celebrations Poetry, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Seasons Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Time Humor | 4 Comments »
Monday, October 30th, 2006
Unless you live on another planet, there are never enough hours in the day. But if you use these efficiency techniques, you can win that battle with time:
1. Always do at least two things at once. While showering, write a screenplay. While sorting laundry, invent a handy appliance for the home. While chatting on the phone with a dull acquaintance, take a nap.
2. Consolidate self-improvement routines. Exercise to learn-a-language tapes while watching watercolor videos. Not only will you save time, but you’ll have thin thighs for that trip to Le Musée du Louvre.
3. Buy a speaker-phone for your kitchen. You’ll be able to cook, vacuum, and knit dog-hair booties while you talk on the phone.
4. When you’re in the kitchen, post reminder notes on the fridge. (“It’s the laundry, stupid.”)
5. Group chores alphabetically. If you have to go to the pharmacy, combine your trip with errands beginning with the letter ‘P.’ …” (Contending With Time is continued here.)
Tags: Efficiency Humor, Household Chores, Multitasking, Self-Help Satire, Self-Improvement, Time Humor, Time Management, Time Pressure
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Health & Medical Humor, How-To Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Mental Health Humor, Multitasking Humor, Self-Help Humor, Social Satire, Time Humor | 7 Comments »