Choice Viewing (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
What with networks and Netflix and cable
And Hulu and Amazon’s stable
Of shows to be seen,
I’m too wired to screen;
Feeling feeble, can’t pick — kindly table.
Posts Tagged ‘Television Humor’
Choice Viewing (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 4th, 2015Nightmare Limerick
Monday, February 17th, 2014Nightmare Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I rarely remember my dreams,
Except those that go off to extremes,
Like last night’s — I was taken:
A hostage, till wakin’.
I should stop watching Homeland, it seems.
Reality TV Humor (New York Magazine Contest)
Tuesday, January 21st, 2014New York Magazine recently started a new weekly contest. This week’s challenge is to invent titles of a “premodern reality-television series.” You can enter either on Twitter or in the contest page’s comment section.
Here are my entries (on Twitter) so far:
The Real Cavewives of Windsor
The Dinosaur Hunter
Reinventing The Wheel
Dancing With The Bard
Keeping Up With The Bardashians
The Sorcery Apprentice
Reality TV Shows That Will Never Be Produced
Thursday, November 14th, 2013In a recent Washington Post Style Invitational contest (Week 1043), we were challenged to invent fake celebrity reality shows. I enjoyed many of the winning entries, especially several of the Honorable Mentions. So be sure to click that link and read about those never-to-be shows.
Alas, no ink for me this week. But here are my three non-winning entries:
“Dancing Behind Bars.” Former “Dancing with the Stars” judge Bruno Tonioli launches his quest for “fast on their feet felons,” after running out of minimally talented dancers in the general population. “Inmates have so much talent, it’s criminal,” raves Bruno. “The cat burglars have stolen my heart! And those death row moves are killer!”
“The Sex Factor.” After losing control of the Miss USA and Miss Universe franchises in yet another bankruptcy, Donald Trump makes a comeback with a weekly beauty contest that, according to Trump, will be “really big” with “lots of bikinis and no interviews.” Says Trump, “girls should be seen and not heard … unless they went to Wharton.”
“Dancing Up In Mars” marks a “new frontier in reality TV, taking dance competitions to the next step.” Says host Newt Gingrich, “the gravity difference presents a grave challenge. But on the upside, Mars doesn’t enforce alimony laws. So no more checks to my six (or is it seven?) exes.”
Limerick Ode To Betty White
Sunday, May 9th, 2010Limerick Ode To Betty White
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The comedy legend named White
Hosted SNL Saturday night.
She managed to sell
Ev’ry line oh so well,
Even those that lacked humor and bite.
Betty’s sassy and charming — a pro.
How she does what she does, I don’t know.
Her timing is great.
She’s a young eighty-eight,
Who’d enhance any movie or show.
Dear Jay
Tuesday, January 19th, 2010I’m on Team CoCo, as you can tell from my Conan-Leno talk show wars limerick.
But unlike many Team CoCo members, I put most of the blame on NBC … and not on Jay Leno. NBC, after all, has been treating both O’Brien and Leno like two very pricey pawns. And doing it incompetently, to boot.
Jay’s been taking quite the beating in the press. So I watched Jay’s Monday night attempt to repair his image and set the record straight with interest. Unfortunately, I found his humble, nice guy shtick overdone and just a wee bit nauseating. Methinks Leno has gotten some really bad public relations advice.
And speaking of advice, here’s some advice for Jay Leno in limerick form:
Dear Jay
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Jay, you sure poured it on thick.
You’re a poor, lowly country-boy hick?
You just do what your told?
Merely one of the fold?
Give your PR adviser a kick.
Go, Conan!
Tuesday, January 12th, 2010A limerick in honor of Conan O’Brien’s Solomon-like decision about the Tonight Show — not to “seriously damage what [he considers] to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting,” (I wrote it both as a fan and as a recovering lawyer.)
Go, Conan!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Conan, I’m glad you refused.
By your Network, you’ve sure been abused.
You’re right to be teed.
You’re a class act, indeed.
NBC’s breach can not be excused.
Update: I haven’t seen Conan’s contract. But here’s NBC’s argument, as I understand it: NBC can legally air The Tonight Show with Conan at 12:05 a.m. after a new half-hour Leno show, because O’Brien’s contract doesn’t specify a time. I don’t buy it.
Following NBC’s argument to its logical conclusion, NBC could air The Tonight Show at 4:00 a.m., or even at noon. In fact, by NBC’s reasoning, Conan could have stayed at his old 12:35 a.m. slot and Jay could have kept his original 11:35 p.m. Tonight Show slot. All NBC would have had to do would be to change the names of the shows: Conan’s to the Tonight Show, and Jay’s to the Jay Leno Show. Sorry, NBC, this doesn’t pass the straight-faced test.
One more point: Rumor has it that Jay’s contract specifies a 10 p.m. time, and that (the argument goes) this weakens Conan’s position. I disagree. Conan O’Brien was being promoted to a show that already existed in a specific time slot, whereas Jay’s show was being created from scratch. So they are not analogous situations.
Update 2: Is this a slam dunk for Conan? No. But as a “recovering lawyer” who litigated my share of contract disputes, I’d rather take Conan’s case to a jury.
Yet Another American Idol Limerick
Monday, May 21st, 2007As regular readers know, watching American Idol is one of my guilty pleasures. But it sure wasn’t much of a pleasure last week, when mellifluous Melinda was sent packing and Blake wasn’t:
Yet Another American Idol Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Melinda was beat out by Blake?
Now that’s what I call a mistake!
He’s all shtick and no voice.
What a terrible choice!
I suspect that his fans ain’t awake.
American Idol — My Guilty Pleasure
Wednesday, April 25th, 2007American Idol — My Guilty Pleasure
By Madeleine Begun Kane
American Idol’s a show
I enjoy. Why? I really don’t know:
Awful singing, odd judging,
And, maybe, vote fudging.
I’m missing it now. Gotta go!
