“Tell me, what is this meeting about?”
Yelled the parent, unfazed by the clout
Of the teacher he faced.
“Time’s a-wasting. Make haste!
I must go and attend to my gout.”
Said the teacher, “Your son loves to flout
All our rules and will likely flunk out.
He’s ignoring his studies,
Too busy with buddies,
Preparing for life as a lout.”
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using LIGHT or DELIGHT at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TEACHERS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TEACHER-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: JOINT, LOVELY, NAP, TAX, CONQUER.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on June 25, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 24, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my LIGHT/DELIGHT-Rhyme Limerick:
I enjoy writing verse that is light,
Although many poo-poo it as trite.
And I happily slave
Over lim’ricks — my fav.
They’re well worth it, when written just right.
And here’s my TEACHER-Themed Limerick:
The schoolteacher, usually nice,
Could be scary at times – cold as ice.
And her tone, when provoked,
Went from mellow to stoked
With a furious “THAT WILL SUFFICE!”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
“How I long to be able to nap
Just like those who can sleep in a snap.
As for me, there’s no point
In trying. Each joint
In my body shrieks ‘Don’t bother, chap!'”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DRONES at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to REJECTION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best REJECTION-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on March 6, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 5, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DRONES-rhyme limerick:
The anatomy prof provokes groans;
He tells anecdotes (endless) and drones.
Students stare at the clock,
Read their email, and mock
Him for tales that are never bare bones.
And here’s my REJECTION-themed limerick:
A man had a bee in his bonnet
About writing a humorous sonnet.
No one cared for his style,
So he built a flop-pile
Of rejections and plopped down upon it.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
This is a true, personal story. And it remains a vivid memory:
My teacher in pre-school would whine:
“Is your coloring off by design?
You must crayon within
The lines, or your kin
Will be called. I am drawing the line!”
Seems it never occurred to my teacher
That I’m naught but a near-sighted creature,
Who could NOT see those lines.
She missed all the signs.
To this day, I would love to impeach her.
A professor, while teaching a class,
Called one of his students an ass;
Not a classy remark,
But his class (this is stark)
Loudly cheered his assessment en masse.
National Teacher Day, also known as Teacher Appreciation Day, is celebrated during the first full week of May, on a Tuesday.
Limerick Virtuoso
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A famed violin virtuoso
Said his student’s performance was “so-so.”
“You were NOT even there,”
She replied in despair.
The response from her prof: “I just know so.”
(Inspired by Merriam-Webster Word of the Day – VIRTUOSO)
View my Virtuoso Limerick image here.
Computers and spell-check have been turning spelling prowess into a quaint art. So it’s no wonder that the people behind the 2013 Scripps National Spelling Bee have upped the ante, now requiring competitors to actually know what the words they’re spelling mean.
Needless to say, this is controversial. And although I think the idea’s a good one, I sympathize with the contestants. Why? Because the change is rather last minute. The contest starts this May 28th, and the change was announced just a couple of days ago, on April 9th.
It’s the very definition of I-N-I-Q-U-I-T-O-U-S.
Spellbinding Changes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
They’re making the Spelling Bee tougher–
Decidedly meaner and rougher:
It’s no longer enough
To learn spelling of stuff–
Master meanings, or rankings shall suffer.
Practice, Practice, Practice
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The teacher called out from his car:
“Ma’am, your daughter’s a driver’s ed star.
Her steering’s quite deft,
She knows right turns from left,
And, with practice, she’s bound to go far.”
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
