A horseback-riding reader asked me to write a tax-related limerick. Here’s what I came up with:
Reining In Your Returns (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To the folks who find horseback transcendent,
Please beware, you could be a defendant,
If when doing your tax,
You err to the max
By declaring your horse a “dependent.”
Edgy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
His cash flow had put him on edge,
And he needed a day to just veg.
He was stressed to the max
Over real estate tax,
And could not even fund his new hedge.
(Lots Of Laughter edge prompt)
I thought I was through bitching about taxes and the IRS for at least a few months. But apparently not:
Dear IRS
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear folks at the Fed IRS,
Your rules and your regs are a mess.
You’re unfair to the poor.
Middle class? Even more.
So beware, cuz I know your address.
Note to the FBI, the IRS, and Homeland Security: This is a humor blog, so please don’t arrest me. Thanks for … uh … listening.
Interactive Taxes
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Hello. Welcome to Taxtime, your Interactive Tax Preparer Program. Do you feel like doing your taxes today?
I see. Well, don’t you think you should do them anyway? After all, it’s April 14. And who knows? Maybe you’ll get a refund.
That’s the spirit. Let’s begin with your name, address, and marital status.
Sorry to hear about the divorce. But don’t let it get you down. That alimony deduction will come in handy.
Please don’t cry. Things are bound to improve. In the meantime, let’s talk about dependents. Do you have any children?
Wow! I hope they’re not all in college.
You’re having visitation problems on top of everything else? Gee, I can’t help you there. But you might try our Interactive Matrimonial Lawyer Software.
I hate lawyers too. But we’re really veering off track … (Interactive Taxes is continued here.)
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
