It is National Volleyball Day.
Will I celebrate? No! Never! Nay!
I’ve a life-long approach
To all balls that encroach:
Duck and hide, if one’s coming my way.
Posts Tagged ‘September Holidays’
Balls! (Limerick)
Friday, April 5th, 2024Half-Baked Limerick
Friday, September 30th, 2022A baker was well on his way
To a lifetime of waste and decay,
When he met a cute gal
Who said, “Listen up pal!
Straighten out, or no rolls in the hay.”
(September 30 is National Bakery Day.)
A Dogged Quest (3-Verse Limerick)
Wednesday, September 28th, 2022A woman who wanted a pet
Became angry, perturbed, and upset:
She’d been told dog adoption
Was OUT as an option…
Cuz she spent too much time on the net.
She replied, “If the net’s bad, then why
Is your website the place we must buy
These sweet canines you say
Need a home? Still say ‘Nay?’
Any court will your ruling decry.”
Upon hearing her not-so-veiled threat,
The naysayer started to sweat.
Since his site can’t afford
To be sued, he’s on board.
Her new spaniel — Tibetan — great get!
*****
(Happy “World Pet Day” — September 28.)
Jacked By Robots (Limerick)
Monday, September 26th, 2022Today (September 26) is both Lumberjack Day and Robot Day. So it’s ironic that robots are stealing jobs from lumberjacks.
A lumberjack, dressed like a slob,
Gets fired and lets out a sob:
“I’ve been cut down to size
By a gizmo,” he cries.
“A robot has stolen my job!”
Yet Another “Punctuation Day” Limerick
Saturday, September 24th, 2022How to punctuate: That is the query.
Ill-timed marks can be irksome and dreary.
Bangs, ellipses, and dashes
Add drama in flashes.
Overuse is abusive!!! — Be leery!!!!!
(National Punctuation Day is celebrated yearly on September 24th.)
Eat A Banana? Nah! (Limerick)
Saturday, September 10th, 2022It’s “Banana Day,” giving me a great excuse to bitch about bananas. (It’s lucky that Mark and I like them at different stages of ripeness. Otherwise, they’d all end up tossed into the garbage.)
“You should eat that banana today,”
Says Mark. “Ugh, it’s TOO ripe,” I say.
“It peaked overnight.
Now it’s yours. Have a bite!
It’s perfect for you; old and gray.”
Please Don’t Suggest Chess! (Limerick)
Thursday, September 1st, 2022I count “chess” among the many things I’m bad at. But to those who enjoy it, happy “American Chess Day!”
I hate losing, so playing a game
That I’m poor at feels foolish and lame,
Which is why I avoid
Playing chess. I’m annoyed
When I look like a dim-witted dame.
Happy National Punctuation Day — September 24 (Haiku)
Friday, September 24th, 2021Punctuation Day
questionable holiday
arrives without bang
Happy National Punctuation Day!
(I decided to provide that bang, after all.)
Dueling Calendars (Limerick)
Monday, September 6th, 2021Rosh Hashanah is early this year.
The calendar (Jewish) does veer
Just enough to confuse me,
Confound and bemuse me.
I must labor to get back in gear.
Yet Another World Rhino Day Limerick
Saturday, September 22nd, 2018There once was a newlywed rhino
Who discovered her mate was a wino.
“We’re endangered,” she’d curse.
“Your damn wine makes it worse!”
“White wine’s fine,” he replied. “I’m albino.”
(My first rhino limerick is here. It’s included in the International Poetry Anthology For Rhino in a Shrinking World.)
Happy World Rhino Day! (September 22)
Goose Day (Limerick)
Thursday, September 29th, 2016A farmer who tried to produce
A plausible, timely excuse
For gambling away
His nest egg, today
Came up empty, self-cooking his goose.
Happy Goose Day! (September 29)
Celebrate Punch Day? Not Me!
Tuesday, September 20th, 2016Serving punch at your party or brunch?
It won’t go with whatever we munch.
You apparently think
It’s a heavenly drink,
But it’s not. Please desist. Thanks a bunch.
Happy Punch Day!
Limerick Gibberish
Tuesday, September 20th, 2016It’s Gibberish Day, which seems silly;
Throwing language around willy-nilly
Doesn’t make any sense
And it’s sickening. Hence,
Of such talk I’m constrained to speak illy.
Happy Defy Superstition Day – Sept. 13
Tuesday, September 13th, 2016I wrote this limerick in honor of Defy Superstition Day:
On this day, let’s defy superstitions;
We should spurn all those stern admonitions
About opals, black cats,
Mirrors, ladders, and hats.
Play it safe, though: Avoid politicians.
Wife Appreciation Day Limerick (3rd Sunday of September)
Wednesday, September 17th, 2014Attention fellows! This coming Sunday is a very important holiday. Yes, I know I’m a bit early. But for a day like this, I’m betting you could use some extra notice: National Wife Appreciation Day.
Limerick Ode To Wife Appreciation Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
On September’s third Sunday it’s wise
To appreciate wives. They’re a prize
You should cherish and treasure.
They give so much pleasure.
Beg pardon? RESPECTIVE wives, guys!
Happy National Punctuation Day (Limerick)
Tuesday, September 24th, 2013Happy National Punctuation Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When you punctuate, please don’t be rash.
Over-use can turn prose into ash.
And a comma misplaced
Lays your writing to waste.
Mark my words … or your readers shall dash.
(National Punctuation Day is celebrated yearly on September 24th.)
Limerick Ode To Blame Someone Else Day
Friday, September 13th, 2013Happy “Blame Someone Else Day.” (It falls on the first Friday the 13th of the year.)
Limerick Ode To “Blame Someone Else Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m searching for someone to blame
For my failure to loudly proclaim
That “Today can be used
To excuse the accused,”
Giving “Blame Someone Else Day” due fame.
Bald Limerick
Friday, September 13th, 2013Happy “Bald Is Beautiful Day.” (September 13)
Bald Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A hot woman was very enthralled
With a man who was totally bald.
It wasn’t his smarts
Or his charm or his parts,
But the central AC he’d installed.
Update: Air Conditioning Appreciation days run from July 3 to August 15.
Limerick Ode To National Beer Lover’s Day
Saturday, September 7th, 2013Happy National Beer Lover’s Day! (September 7th)
Limerick Ode To National Beer Lover’s Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Beer Lover’s Day” is today.
Do I plan to imbibe some? No way.
Its bouquet makes me ail
And turn pale, and I fail
To favor its flavor. So nay!
