Posts Tagged ‘Self-Help Humor’

Unstuck (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 16th, 2011

Unstuck (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Whenever I feel like I’m stuck —
Like I’m trapped in a rut or in muck,
I attempt something new.
(What else can you do?)
And sometimes that changes my luck.

(Inspired by Big Tent Poetry’s stuck prompt.)

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Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Self-Help Humor | 32 Comments »

De-Stress Or Distress?

Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006

Are you stressed out? A quivering blob of nerves? Are your muscles lodged in a permanent clench? Here’s what not to do:

1. Lie down on the floor with your knees bent and pointed upward. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and exhale slowly. Take another deep breath. Wonder if that smell is gas.

2. Concentrate on your breathing, on releasing that stale, toxic, virulent energy trapped inside you. Feel your body begin to relax. Sense the tension seeping out of your shoulders and toes, your life force beginning to renew. Jump up to check the stove.

3. Resume the position. Resume breathing. Become obsessed by cobwebs on the ceiling.

4. Decide to play a relaxation CD. Your choices are “healing harps,” ocean waves, and whales. Wonder which best suits your persona. Whales remind you of sharks. Decide to go with the harps.

5. Lie down a third time, notice ceiling, slam eyelids shut. Breathe deeply, welcoming the return of your vital juices. I.n.h.a.l.e…t.w.o…t.h.r.e.e…f.o.u.r…E.x.h.a.l.e…t.w.o…t.h.r.e.e…f.o.u.r. Savor the rise and fall of your abdomen. Focus on the harps which remind you of angels which remind you of heaven which reminds you of hell which reminds you that maybe you should listen to something else. … De-Stress Or Distress is continued here.)

UPDATE: August 15th is National Relaxation Day.

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Posted in Health & Medical Humor, How-To Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Mental Health Humor, New Age Humor, Self-Help Humor, Social Satire | 1 Comment »