This summer’s weather in New York City, especially August, has been astonishingly pleasant. And then September hit.
I Knew It Couldn’t Last (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I was right with my weather suspicions;
We’ve reverted to dreadful conditions.
High humidity, heat,
Heavy T-storms compete,
As we weather their juxtapositions.
Weather Wariness (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
New York’s weather, right now, is delicious.
Its loveliness makes me suspicious:
Are we being set up
For a fall? I fear yup,
We are in for some elements vicious.
Today is the first day of Air Conditioning Appreciation days. (July 3 to August 15)
Limerick Ode To AC
By Madeleine Begun Kane
How I long to be sweaty-skin-free.
“Make it cool!” is my summertime plea.
Humidity, heat
Make me drip with defeat.
Yes indeed, I’m a fan of AC.
My Unreasonable Complaint (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m not hot. There’s no sweat on my brow.
I’m not cold. Yes, I’m forced to allow
That the last sev’ral days
Have had moderate rays.
So what will I bitch about now?
Open Limerick To My Southern Hemisphere Friends
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Don’t be mad, if it’s fall where you are.
(My friends are from near and from far.)
I can’t help blow my cork
Over spring in New York,
Which (so far) appears way under par.
Springtime Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s the first day of spring — so they claim,
And I’m searching for someone to blame,
Cuz we’re still in the throes
Of winter, which chose
To give springtime a very bad name.
Cold and Bothered (Quatrain)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I live in a town where it’s pleasant to stroll.
We do most of our errands on foot.
But it’s frightfully cold. “Let’s stay home,” I cajole.
Forget milk! Let’s be smart and stay put.
(January 11 is National Milk Day.)
Another Snow Job (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Mark, thanks for shov’ling today.
If you hadn’t, that snow’d surely stay
Until I did the chore,
A job I abhor.
It’s more fun to make limerick hay.
Happy “Bald Is Beautiful Day.” (September 13)
Bald Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A hot woman was very enthralled
With a man who was totally bald.
It wasn’t his smarts
Or his charm or his parts,
But the central AC he’d installed.
Update: Air Conditioning Appreciation days run from July 3 to August 15.
NOT Hailing This Storm (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A blizzard’s upon us. I’m worried,
Cuz in over a foot we’ll be buried.
The prelude is hail,
Then snow by the bale.
If only our snow flakes just flurried.
May is usually a beautiful month here in New York City. But not this year!
Farewell To May (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s June 1st, which means farewell to May,
And good riddance — poor weather each day:
Way too hot, way too cold,
Way too rainy, all told.
Was May ever moderate? Nay!
Weathering Spring (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I wonder just what is the reason
Why spring’s such an ornery season.
First it’s cold, then it’s hot,
Then it’s icy, then not —
Makes me ask whether spring is just teasin’.
(Think Tank Thursday prompts us to wonder.)
Spring’s here. The weather’s great! I have nothing to bitch about. What’s a poor limerick writer to do?
My Reluctant Limerick Ode To Spring
By Madeleine Begun Kane
In previous years, I would blast:
“Spring’s arrived. Please tell winter it’s passed.
“Cuz it seems not to know —
“We are still getting snow!”
I’m aghast — can’t lambaste — spring came fast.
Dear Calendar (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear calendar, why are you lying?
You claim that it’s spring. I’m not buying.
We had one lovely day,
But now snow’s on the way.
You’ve betrayed us — there’s no use denying.
(Inspired by this spring prompt and, of course, the damn New York City weather. Posted also at Write A Letter, Jingle Poetry’s deception and misrepresentation prompt, and at Poetic Asides.)
So far, March has been a big month for celebratory limericks. I’ve already limericked about International Women’s Day, Daylight Savings Time, Pi Day, and St. Patrick’s Day. And now it’s time for a two-verse limerick celebrating World Poetry Day, which falls on March 21st:
Limerick Ode To World Poetry Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
On World Poetry Day write some verse,
Or in poetry reading immerse.
Try a lim’rick, haiku,
Sonnet, ode, clerihew —
Something witty, or languid, or terse.
On World Poetry Day have some fun:
Compose quatrains, blank verse, or haibun.
Double dactyl, sestina —
The poet’s arena
Will even permit you to pun.
UPDATE: I discovered and corrected some serious errors on Wikipedia’s World Poetry Day page (Google’s top entry for the World Poetry Day topic.) The most glaring error was made more than a month ago, on February 15th, by someone who apparently was manipulating Wikipedia on behalf of a UK-based “global grocery and general merchandising retailer” named Tesco. All references to UNESCO, which had declared March 21st to be World Poetry Day, had been changed to TESCO.
I was stunned that nobody was monitoring Wikipedia well enough to catch and correct this error, and that it took me, an infrequent Wikipedia user, to fix it.
So let that be a lesson to people who rely on Wikipedia. While it’s often useful, it’s far from the gospel. And if you find errors there, be a good Internet citizen and fix them.
One more thing — I urge all poets and writers who are at all publicity-minded, to create their own Wikipedia page. Here’s mine.
UPDATE 2: Commenter Tilly Bud inspired me to combine my two limericks, turning them into a two-verse limerick. Thanks, Tilly!
Limerick Ode To St. Patrick’s Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
On St. Patrick’s Day join in the fun.
We’re all Irish that day — yes, each one.
So wear green, find a pub,
Eat some cabbagy grub,
And until you’ve drunk beer, you ain’t done.
Nervous newcomer
slips and falls onto deep snow.
Makes bad impression.
*****
Valiant croci
strain to push through snow’s surface.
All retreat but one.
*****
My tossed-aside snow
returns to the cleared sidewalk.
An icy revenge.
(The first haiku is for the Haiku Heights impression prompt and the second one is for I Saw Sunday.)
Mark and I are looking forward to the next heavy rain storm, since we don’t dare hope for a multi-day thaw. And until one or the other happens here in New York City, we won’t be able to use our back door (which opens out) or get into our yard.
My two-verse limerick explains all:
Who Needs A Door, Anyway?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Can’t exit our house from the back,
Cuz the door’s blocked by snowdrifts, alack!
We would shovel it free
If we could, but you see
We’ve no route to that snow we can track.
For the trail to that door’s through the yard.
And clearing that path’s more than hard.
For the yard gate is blocked
From inside, as if locked
By still more snow. Our entry is barred.
Blizzard Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The snowfall is coming down quick
And, alas, it appears to be thick.
Though winter’s just started,
I’d gladly discard it
Cuz shoveling isn’t my shtick.
Rumor has it that fall will arrive on September 23rd. So I thought I’d celebrate with my Limerick Ode To Autumn:
Limerick Ode To Autumn
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Feels like autumn — the walking is easy
Cuz it’s cool and it’s dry and it’s breezy.
But what do I spy?
Flying pollen — oh my!
Any minute I’ll surely be sneezy.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
