With all the renewed attention on Pluto, I’m hoping it will be re-designated a planet instead of a measly “dwarf planet.”
I often like staring at stars
And at planets, like Venus and Mars.
How I pity poor Pluto–
’Twas given the boot — oh
To be “plutoed” must surely leave scars.
Pluto Day is February 18th, in honor of its discovery on that day in 1930 at Lowell Observatory in Flagstaff, Arizona, by astronomer Clyde W. Tombaugh.
Fruity Study? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though I don’t want to lead you astray,
It appears that an apple a day
Is a way to enhance
A gal’s sex life, perchance.
I’m not ribbing you. Mālum? Hooray!
According to a sex study with a rather small sample size, apples might possibly be a libido booster.
An Eclipsed Eclipse (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Last night, I kept searching the skies
For that promised “blood moon,” but my eyes
Were betrayed by the pall
Cast by clouds — a thick wall,
Which cut my dream view down to size.
According to a new study by Dr. David Johnson at the University of Aberdeen, plants communicate to each other through soil.
The study shows that when vegetables are infected with certain diseases, they alert other nearby plants to activate genes to ward off the disease when it heads their way. The key to this communication is a soil fungus that acts as a messenger.
Needless to say, plant-fungus symbiosis inspired this limerick:
A Fungus You can Grow To Like (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Plants talk to each other through dirt:
“You’re in danger!” through fungi, they blurt.
“Use your genes to resist
A disease in your midst,
And render this danger inert.”
I strongly support stem cell research. But that doesn’t mean I won’t mock it. After all, science article titles like this are impossible to resist: Stem Cells Build a Better Rat Penis.
Waxing Silly About Science (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Is your rat penis painfully small?
There’s help for you — here’s who to call:
A Doc at Tulane —
His team will explain
How stem cells can make that thing tall.
My post about haiku and senryu put me in the mood to write more haiku. And what better inspiration than this morning’s extremely rare total lunar eclipse/winter solstice combo!
It’s very cold here in New York. But as my husband sleeps, I’ve been outside watching the eclipse, coming indoors periodically to write some lunar eclipse haiku — a total of seven for a total eclipse:
Here they are:
The lunar eclipse
Is just beginning right now.
Moon’s barely dented.
Bundled up, yet chilled,
I watch moon’s vanishing act.
Quarter’s gone missing.
Icy New York air
Mocks me as I moon eclipse.
Glad cops missed my show.
Ventured out again
As solstice moon wastes away,
Mere shadow of self.
Winds howl in protest,
Demanding that the shy moon
Come out of hiding.
The sky teases us
With a hint of yawning light,
As moon awakens.
Moon stages comeback.
Turns out its retirement
Was only a phase.
Dim-Witted Driver (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A dim-witted driver named Ed
Often finds that his battery’s dead.
He’s forgetful most nights
And he leaves on the lights.
That’s why Edward is no longer wed.
As always, please feel free to write your own limerick, using the same first line, and post it in my comments and/or on my Facebook post.
Note: My husband Mark is a frequent source of dead battery-inspired humor, including these two humor columns: Tow Guy Blues and False Alarm. Thus far, however, we remain married. In fact tomorrow’s our 31st wedding anniversary.
UPDATE: Happy National Battery Day (celebrated yearly on February 18th, in honor of physicist Alessandro Volta’s birthday.)
UPDATE 2: Check Your Batteries Day falls on the second Sunday in March.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
