The next time you hear about or (even worse) run across a disembodied foot that’s washed ashore, there’s a solid scientific explanation: “Feet easily disarticulate and when they are attached to a flotation device such as a running shoe, they are easily washed ashore…”
This calls for a limerick, don’t you think?
You wear running shoes? Try not to drown!
If you do while they’re on, you’ll stay down,
Except for your feet,
Which will fall off — not neat —
Float to shore and draw many a frown.
If only I were making this story up: Headline: “Giant spiders expected to drop from sky across the East Coast this spring”
“Giant spiders,” East Coast-bound, this spring;
Using parachute-webs, down they’ll swing.
“Invasive,” yet “harmless?”
I’m far from alarmless
O’er spider hordes — beasts on the wing.
John the botanist’s dull as can be.
His life is a blathering spree.
He ignores all my pleas
To stop shooting the breeze,
And can talk all the bark off a tree.
A silly limerick to celebrate “World Science Day.” (November 10)
I’m bewildered by scholarly articles
About physics and virtual particles.
Since I’m dense about science,
I’m prone to reliance
On lim’ricks to bolster my smarticles.
Happy World Laboratory Day! (April 23)
A fellow who worked in a lab
Helped discover a cure rather fab.
But alas he was bought;
He blabbed and got caught.
Now his body’s laid out on a slab.
Though my mem’ry’s, alas, on the wane,
Here’s a day that should stick to my brain:
It’s for Richard G. Drew.
He did NOT invent glue,
But our bond with his Scotch Tape shall reign.
Happy Scotch Tape Day!
Are bugs more nutritious than meat?
In a study on what we should eat,
The answer was “yes.”
I am bugged and confess
That I’d sooner eat peat or concrete.
A title like this cries out for a limerick: “The lies we tell are more convincing when we need to pee.”
Here’s a lesson from science ― the key
To a credible lie-telling spree:
A bladder that’s full
Leads to plausible bull.
Do your lying when desp’rate to pee.
I just discovered a delicious factoid: what we now know as Scotch Tape was invented by a banjo player who worked for 3M. The inventor, Richard Gurley Drew, patented his adhesive tape on May 27, 1930.
I’m Attached To Tape (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Picture life without 3M Scotch Tape:
Stuff we need to affix would escape.
Paper’s bound to be freed
(Sticky wicket, indeed!)
While we’re stuck, all unglued and agape.
Happy Cellophane Tape Day!
This interesting study sheds some light on how we make decisions: According to scientists at the University of Toronto Scarborough, people think more objectively when in darkness, making more rational decisions when the lights are dimmed.
No Longer In The Dark About Decision-Making (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s a study with insight that’s stark:
Our reasoning’s best in the dark.
Need to make a decision?
Dim light aids your vision.
Watch lucid enlightenment spark.
By now, you’ve probably heard the horoscope brouhaha over constellation movements and purported astrological sign shifts. Well, I don’t care what anybody claims about zodiac changes. I’m still a Virgo:
Still A Virgo (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The sign Virgo is mine through and through,
And there’s nothing at all you can do
To convince me it’s changed.
I’ll respond,”You’re deranged,”
Quite precisely and neatly on cue.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
