The next time you hear about or (even worse) run across a disembodied foot that’s washed ashore, there’s a solid scientific explanation: “Feet easily disarticulate and when they are attached to a flotation device such as a running shoe, they are easily washed ashore…”
This calls for a limerick, don’t you think?
You wear running shoes? Try not to drown!
If you do while they’re on, you’ll stay down,
Except for your feet,
Which will fall off — not neat —
Float to shore and draw many a frown.
John the botanist’s dull as can be.
His life is a blathering spree.
He ignores all my pleas
To stop shooting the breeze,
And can talk all the bark off a tree.
A silly limerick to celebrate “World Science Day.” (November 10)
I’m bewildered by scholarly articles
About physics and virtual particles.
Since I’m dense about science,
I’m prone to reliance
On lim’ricks to bolster my smarticles.
Happy World Laboratory Day! (April 23)
A fellow who worked in a lab
Helped discover a cure rather fab.
But alas he was bought;
He blabbed and got caught.
Now his body’s laid out on a slab.
Though my mem’ry’s, alas, on the wane,
Here’s a day that should stick to my brain:
It’s for Richard G. Drew.
He did NOT invent glue,
But our bond with his Scotch Tape shall reign.
Happy Scotch Tape Day!
A celebratory limerick for Telescope Day.
Galileo perfected in spades
The magnificent gadget that aids
Us in viewing the stars
And the planets, like Mars.
Of course, NOW we need curtains and shades.
Are bugs more nutritious than meat?
In a study on what we should eat,
The answer was “yes.”
I am bugged and confess
That I’d sooner eat peat or concrete.
A title like this cries out for a limerick: “The lies we tell are more convincing when we need to pee.”
Here’s a lesson from science ― the key
To a credible lie-telling spree:
A bladder that’s full
Leads to plausible bull.
Do your lying when desp’rate to pee.
Some facts are self-evident, including the results of this study of cats.
Researchers Belabor The Obvious (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Does a cat miss its owner and pout?
Just in case you were feeling some doubt,
Felines ain’t like a hound,
A study has found.
It took science to figure this out?
With all the renewed attention on Pluto, I’m hoping it will be re-designated a planet instead of a measly “dwarf planet.”
I often like staring at stars
And at planets, like Venus and Mars.
How I pity poor Pluto–
’Twas given the boot — oh
To be “plutoed” must surely leave scars.
Pluto Day is February 18th, in honor of its discovery on that day in 1930 at Lowell Observatory in Flagstaff, Arizona, by astronomer Clyde W. Tombaugh.
Fruity Study? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though I don’t want to lead you astray,
It appears that an apple a day
Is a way to enhance
A gal’s sex life, perchance.
I’m not ribbing you. Mālum? Hooray!
According to a sex study with a rather small sample size, apples might possibly be a libido booster.
Limerick Ode To The Stove
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A stove is a handy device.
For cooking, some say, it works nice.
I can’t speak to that fact,
For I don’t interact
Well with kitchens. I can, though, boil rice.
Today in Kitchen History: On June 11, 1793, Robert Haeterick was granted the first American stove patent for a stove design of cast iron.
I just discovered a delicious factoid: what we now know as Scotch Tape was invented by a banjo player who worked for 3M. The inventor, Richard Gurley Drew, patented his adhesive tape on May 27, 1930.
I’m Attached To Tape (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Picture life without 3M Scotch Tape:
Stuff we need to affix would escape.
Paper’s bound to be freed
(Sticky wicket, indeed!)
While we’re stuck, all unglued and agape.
Happy Cellophane Tape Day!
Cursing’s Healthy, I Swear (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
New research, Brit experts declare,
Has revealed that it’s healthy to swear.
So you damn SOBs,
No more slamming my ease
With the expletive. Carpers beware!
I rarely write science-related limericks. But I just couldn’t resist this headline: “‘Humans evolved after a female chimpanzee mated with a pig’: Extraordinary claim made by American geneticist.”
In A Pig’s Eye!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
You might ask how a masculine pig
Got a chimp that was female to dig
Him enough to have sex.
I’m guessing a hex,
Using feathers and maybe a fig.
According to a new study by Dr. David Johnson at the University of Aberdeen, plants communicate to each other through soil.
The study shows that when vegetables are infected with certain diseases, they alert other nearby plants to activate genes to ward off the disease when it heads their way. The key to this communication is a soil fungus that acts as a messenger.
Needless to say, plant-fungus symbiosis inspired this limerick:
A Fungus You can Grow To Like (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Plants talk to each other through dirt:
“You’re in danger!” through fungi, they blurt.
“Use your genes to resist
A disease in your midst,
And render this danger inert.”
Just what we all need — yet another reason to eat chocolate!
Eat chocolate, win a Nobel Prize?
It may sound far-fetched, but a new study suggests it might not be bad advice.
The results show countries that eat the most chocolate also have the highest number of Nobel laureates per capita.
Yet Another Excuse To Eat Chocolate (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you want yet another excuse
To engage in some chocolate abuse,
It seems eating those sweets
Will create smart elites
And can Nobel Prize winners produce.
UPDATE: If you need a further excuse, I’ve just learned that December 16th is Chocolate Covered Anything Day.
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was trying to hide…*
or
A woman was trying to hide…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Hidden Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was trying to hide
The fact that he’d patently lied
In claiming to be
A chem Ph.D.,
When he never had even applied.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
I rarely write poems about science. But Big Tent Poetry got my juices flowing with this article about astronauts, NASA, and clutter at the International Space Station: Here’s the line that got me going:
There is no up or down in space, so clutter adorns almost every surface and is held in place by duct tape, Velcro and metal clips.
Limerick In Free-Fall
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Space Station clutter’s appalling.
Objects long to engage in free-falling.
It take Velcro, clips, tape
To prevent their escape:
My hubby’s fav tools — missed his calling.
(More space verse here.)
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
