My endurance in gym class was poor.
I was slow, klutzy, small, and what’s more,
The mere sight of a ball
Made me duck. After all,
My two goals were “Break nothing! Don’t score!”
Posts Tagged ‘School Humor’
My Unathletic Career (Limerick)
Saturday, March 16th, 2024The Future Felon (Limerick)
Tuesday, November 21st, 2023A bright future felon named Phil
Liked irking his teachers at will;
Adroitly annoying,
He shined at deploying
His smarts, as he went for the kill.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SALE or SAIL at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: December 10, 2022)
Sunday, November 13th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SALE or SAIL at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. Here’s the last contest’s winners list.
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to GOSSIP, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best GOSSIP-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: CLASS, CATCH, FLASHY, STARE, GAIN.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 11, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 10, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SALE or SAIL-Rhyme Limerick:
Playing Wordle, for me, is a sport,
Though it doesn’t use balls or a court,
And it fails to entail
Racing skills, or a sail.
(I am more of a “sitting down” sort.)
And here’s my GOSSIP-Themed Limerick:
A gal who was known for her chutzpah
Owned a pricey and popular foot spa.
But she gossiped about
Ev’ry foot-fetish lout,
So alas it’s become a kaput spa.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
In class, I expelled a loud yawn.
(Its eight o’clock start felt like dawn.)
I stared at the clock
And got caught. Said Prof Locke,
“Bored? Then leave!” In a flash, I was gone.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
The “Innocent” Punster (Limerick)
Friday, May 20th, 2022A boy was bawled out by the nuns
For his sly use of off-color puns.
But he swore “I’m not punning!”
(The fellow was cunning.)
“Besides baking, just what’s done with buns?”
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CUE or QUEUE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 18, 2020)
Saturday, January 4th, 2020It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CUE or QUEUE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SIN, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SIN-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on January 19, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 18, 2020 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my CUE/QUEUE-rhyme limerick:
A teenager caught playing pool
After ducking out early from school,
Cut classes anew
The next day — right on cue.
And was handed a dunce cap and stool.
And here’s my SIN-themed limerick:
Show me someone who never feels guilt,
And I’ll bet that he sins to the hilt,
That his attitude’s cocky,
His love life is rocky —
Wilted conscience all muddied with silt.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: NOTE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: Sept. 28, 2019)
Saturday, September 7th, 2019It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using NOTE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to GRAMMAR, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best GRAMMAR-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 29, 2019 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. (Due to my travel schedule you’ll have one extra week to submit your clever, polished verse.) Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 28, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my NOTE-rhyme limerick:
A man who was singing by rote
Kept hitting an out of tune note.
But nobody cared;
Instead, they just stared.
He was cute, which “earned” everyone’s vote.
And here’s my GRAMMAR-themed limerick:
A woman encountered an ad
Whose grammar was markedly bad.
So she dashed off a note
To the sponsor and wrote:
“Are you even a middle school grad?”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick Ode To Teachers
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016A professor, while teaching a class,
Called one of his students an ass;
Not a classy remark,
But his class (this is stark)
Loudly cheered his assessment en masse.
National Teacher Day, also known as Teacher Appreciation Day, is celebrated during the first full week of May, on a Tuesday.
Nabbed By A Typo (Limerick)
Thursday, March 8th, 2012A teachable moment: When committing crimes, be sure to use spell-check:
Nabbed By A Typo (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man may end up in a cell
Cuz his parking permit had a tell:
There was one extra letter
In “parking.” It’s better
When forging to learn how to spell.
(This is based on an actual news story: A driver in Hoboken, New Jersey forged a parking permit on his home computer. He might have even gotten away with his scam, had he not spelled “parking” as “parkting.”)
Not So Artful At Athletics (Limerick & Haiku Prompt)
Sunday, September 7th, 2008When I was in elementary school, I was really bad at two things — art and athletics. Come to think of it, I’m still bad at them. And that leads me to this week’s alternative poetry prompt themes: school and/or things you aren’t good at.
First, a limerick about my art prowess … or lack thereof:
Please do not make me paint. Have a heart!
I was awful at art from the start.
Flunking finger paint’s rare,
But I did it. So there!
Use a house-painting pro and be smart.
And now my unathletic haiku (senryu):
I hope for my name,
As the girls pick their teammates.
Next to last again.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about school and/or things you aren’t good at. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have until September 5th to post it.
Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
| 1. Random Short Stories 2. Nickers and Ink 3. The Mane Point |
4. kouji 5. MommyWizdom 6. sister AE |
UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your verse about school and/or things you aren’t good at in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
There’s No Substitute For A Bad Job (Limerick and Haiku Prompt)
Friday, February 15th, 2008Today’s limerick and haiku theme is bad jobs. Why? Because everyone I know has had at least one really awful job. As for me, I’ve had more bad jobs than I’d care to remember. So here’s a pair of poems about two of them. First, my limerick about substitute teaching:
In my twenties I substitute taught.
‘Tis a challenging job and it’s fraught;
All those calls before dawn
To instruct devil’s spawn
Made me anxious, uptight—overwrought.
And now, my haiku about working in a discount department store:
Discount lingerie:
Folded, painstakingly shelved.
Soon to be litter.
Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about bad jobs. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry.
School Daze
Saturday, June 9th, 2007I’ve been out of school for far longer than I care to admit. But I still have nightmares that go something like this:
School Daze (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I crammed for the test—studied madly.
But, alas, I’m afraid I did badly
Cause I choke under stress.
I go blank. I’m a mess!
Take a do-over test? Yes, please. Gladly!
Practice, Practice, Practice
Friday, February 2nd, 2007Practice, Practice, Practice
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The teacher called out from his car:
“Ma’am, your daughter’s a driver’s ed star.
Her steering’s quite deft,
She knows right turns from left,
And, with practice, she’s bound to go far.”
