It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to RAPHAEL HARRIS, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny verse:
There once was a gibbon named Flake,
Whose chimpanzee wife baked a cake.
He grabbed a big hunk.
His wife said, “You skunk,
Our marriage is all gibbon take.”
Congratulations to Sue Dulley, who wins the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
Sue Dulley:
The unit of snow is the ‘flake’
With six points; otherwise it’s a fake.
“No two are the same,”
Is the weatherman’s claim.
But who looks at them all, for Pete’s sake?
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Daisy Mae Simon, Brian Allgar, Jesse Frankovich, Ira Bloom, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jon Gearhart, Dave Johnson, and Konrad Schwoerke. Here their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Tim James:
The paint on the ceiling would flake
When she screamed. Then her body would quake,
With her toes curling tight.
It capped off quite a night.
You know what? I don’t *care* if it’s fake.
Daisy Mae Simon:
Our neighbor is nice, but a flake.
Each December she makes us fruitcake.
We smile. (She means well.)
We re-gift it (Don’t tell!)
To a GOP-Tea Party snake.
Brian Allgar:
It was snowing, huge flake after flake,
And my windscreen was growing opaque.
She was giving good head,
But she bit me instead
When I hit the emergency brake.
Jesse Frankovich’s Acrostic Limerick:
Four meanings I’ll offer for flake:
Loose, small piece that from something may break;
A unit of snow;
Kooky fruitcake you know;
Early tool that from stone one can make.
Ira Bloom:
A grey goose, a bit of a flake,
Humped a duck in the dark, by mistake.
“I don’t want to pander,
You stupid old gander,”
The duck said. “Besides, I’m a drake.”
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
She discovered her necklace was fake
When the gold on it started to flake.
The fur was not real,
Her ring, stainless steel,
But her spouse was a genuine snake.
Jon Gearhart:
Now Bob is a bit of a flake.
Goes to sea in a rowboat (a caique).
O’er the side he goes golfin’
Hits eggs at the dolphin
Who’re caught in his fin eggin’ wake.
Dave Johnson
Aunt Martha will quite often bake
Some brownies or maybe a cake.
With her Saturday stop
At the cannabis shop,
There’s magic in every flake.
Konrad Schwoerke:
Seems a break ain’t the same as a brake,
And a sheikh ain’t the same as a shake,
And a stake ain’t the same
As a steak—what a shame!—
But a flake is a flake is a flake.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.
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