I have strange next-door neighbors; they’re freaks,
Whose house is arrayed with antiques.
Its look is forbidding;
Muse’m-like — not kidding!
(I’m in jail now for “peeping tom” peeks.)
Posts Tagged ‘Prison Humor’
Hotheaded Hugh (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 31st, 2022Since Wordsmith’s “Word of the Day” today is “Hotheaded,” I decided to use it in a limerick:
A hotheaded fellow named Hugh
Was irked by a huge check-out queue.
To disperse the long line
He yelled “Gun!” — the damn swine.
He wears stripes now; “lines” up the wazoo!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SIGHT or SITE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: August 29, 2020)
Saturday, August 15th, 2020It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SIGHT or SITE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CHILDREN, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CHILDREN-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on August 30, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 29, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SIGHT/SITE-rhyme limerick:
Though I hate to appear impolite,
Or petty and quick to indict,
Trump’s a blight on our nation;
A Trump relocation
To prison would be a fine sight.
And here’s my CHILDREN-themed limerick:
We adopted a pet at the pound;
An adorable, cuddly young hound.
The children both love her,
But run off for cover
When doggie-doo mishaps are found.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
UPDATE: NEW SUBMISSION DEADLINE – December 7, 2019 – Due to Illness. Sorry! Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: POOL at the end of any one line
Saturday, November 9th, 2019UPDATE: NEW SUBMISSION DEADLINE — December 7, 2019 — Due to Illness. Sorry!
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using POOL at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write PRESS-themed limericks using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Press-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 8, 2019, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your updated submission deadline is Saturday, December 7, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my POOL-rhyme limerick:
I would rather not swim in a pool,
Or anywhere else, as a rule.
My strokes are so weak,
I’d be left up shit creek;
In hot water sans paddling tool.
And here’s my PRESS-themed limerick:
A woman who craved reinvention,
Was desp’rate for media mention.
She tried singing and dancing
And press-guy-romancing.
But the upshot was penal detention.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: FILE or DEFILE at the end of any one line
Sunday, May 27th, 2018It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using FILE or DEFILE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PARENTING, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PARENTING-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on June 10, 2018 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 9, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
I could break out of jail with a file.
I could talk my way out, using guile.
But I’d rather get loose
Riding out on a moose,
Cuz my motto is “do things in style.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Bill Collection Time (A Legal Limerick)
Monday, April 30th, 2007Bill Collection Time (A Legal Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The judge viewed your case with derision,
So he rendered an adverse decision.
But when paying my bill,
Do not bear me ill will,
‘Cause I saved you from going to prison.
UPDATE: Don’t forget to enter my Mother’s Day limerick writing contest. The deadline is May 12, 2007 and there are money prizes for the best two limericks.
