Posts Tagged ‘Patent Humor’
Saturday, April 30th, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DEEDS or MISDEEDS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to INVENTIONS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best INVENTION-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 15, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 14, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DEEDS or MISDEEDS-rhyme limerick:
A bomber (uncaught) is aghast:
He’d been certain his freedom would last.
But some fresh cold-case leads
To his evil misdeeds
Mean a trial for a blast from the past.
And here’s my INVENTIONS-themed limerick:
When informed his design was unsound,
An inventor’s distress was profound:
“The unfairness is blatant!
Their bias is patent!
My grinder has broken new ground!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Coffee Beans, Coffee Grinder Humor, Cold-Case Humor, Competition Limerick, Crime & Punishment Humor, Crime Limerick, Gadget Humor, Gadget Limerick, Grinder Humor, Grinder Limerick, Inventions Humor, Inventions Limerick, Inventors, Law Humor, Law Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Patent Humor, Patent Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Trial Humor, Trial Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Guns & Safety Humor, Inventions Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Weapons Humor | 159 Comments »
Wednesday, November 17th, 2021
Today we must honor the mouse.
Not the rodent, of course, or I’d grouse.
It’s the patent-grant day
For the mouse-gizmo. Yay!
(For a rodent, I’d rope in my spouse.)
(On Nov 17, 1970, Douglas Engelbart was granted the patent for the first computer mouse.)
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Computer Humor, Computer Limerick, Douglas Engelbart, Mouse Limerick, Mouse Patent, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Patent Humor, Patent Limerick, Technology Humor, Technology Limerick
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Computer Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, June 29th, 2021
Congratulations to my wonderful husband Mark Kane, who’s now officially an “inventor” of a software patent, according to the U.S. Patent And Trademark Office:
My best friend and my love and my center!
(Sometimes mentor, but never tormentor)
Always good for a lark;
That’s my PATENTED Mark,
Who’s officially now an inventor.
Tags: Husband Wife Humor, Inventions, Inventions Humor, Inventions Poem, Inventors, Marriage Verse, Patent Humor, Software Patents
Posted in Inventions Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, February 24th, 2016
This holiday surely has bite.
People honor it night after night
And each morning, I hope;
At least those who use soap
Should adore “Nylon Toothbrush Day,” right?
Nylon Toothbrush Day is celebrated on February 24th because on February 24, 1938, the first nylon bristle toothbrush, manufactured by DuPont under the name “Dr. West’s Miracle Toothbrush,” went on sale.
Tags: Dentists, Dr. West's Miracle Toothbrush, DuPont, February Holidays, Holidays, Inventions Humor, Nylon Toothbrush Day, Odd Holidays, Patent Humor, Teeth, Teeth Humor, Toothbrush Day, Toothbrush Limerick
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, History Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Brushing Up On Your Holidays
Sunday, January 31st, 2016
Though my mem’ry’s, alas, on the wane,
Here’s a day that should stick to my brain:
It’s for Richard G. Drew.
He did NOT invent glue,
But our bond with his Scotch Tape shall reign.
Happy Scotch Tape Day!
Tags: 3M Humor, Cellophane Tape, Cellulose Tape, Inventions, Inventors, January Holidays, Odd Holidays, Patent Humor, Richard Gurley Drew, Science Humor, Science Limerick, Scotch Tape, Scotch Tape Day, Tape Humor
Posted in Inventions Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Science Humor | Comments Off on Happy Scotch Tape Day (January 31)
Monday, January 18th, 2016
Happy birthday to barbed wire’s inventor, Joseph Farwell Glidden. (Jan. 18, 1813-Oct. 9, 1906)
If you’d like to stop exit or entry,
Barbed wire can act as your sentry.
This invention by Glidden
Blocks people unbidden–
Quite handy for rich, landed gentry.
Tags: Barbed Wire, Inventions Humor, Inventions Poem, Inventors, January Holidays, Joseph Glidden, Odd Holidays, Patent Humor
Posted in Birthday Verse, History Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Barbed Limerick
Saturday, January 2nd, 2016
Few inventions inspire my awe,
But I’m rather impressed with the straw.
Sucking liquid through tubes
Is suggestive of lubes…
Although straw men still stick in my craw.
(National Drinking Straw Day is celebrated on January 3, in honor of Marvin Stone’s January 3, 1888 patent.)
Tags: Drinking Humor, Drinking Straw Day, Drinking Straw Humor, Inventions Poem, January Holidays, Marvin Stone, Odd Holidays, Patent Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Drinking Straw Day (Jan. 3)
Monday, November 23rd, 2015
Did anyone else love sharpening pencils as a child? I was reminded of this favorite ritual of mine, when I learned that today’s the anniversary of John Lee Love’s small, portable “Love Sharpener” patent.
Limerick Ode To The Pencil Sharpener
By Madeleine Begun Kane
As a youngster, I’d take much delight
In my writing tools, shiny and bright.
This is how I’d begin:
I’d stick pencils within
A small sharp’ner, my point-making rite.
How I’d rotate each pencil and stare
At its shavings, while taking great care.
And here’s what I’d ask
In my ritual task:
“Please pencil, don’t break. Don’t you dare!”
Cuz turning too much takes its toll
When the pointiest point is your goal.
But I learned over time:
Pencil points quite sublime
Can be Lovingly carved in that hole.
Tags: Inventions Humor, Inventions Poem, Inventors, John Lee Love, Patent Humor, Pencil Sharpener
Posted in History Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Writing & Publishing Humor | 14 Comments »
Sunday, June 14th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using TRUST at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A woman could no longer trust
Her domestic to vacuum or dust.
Yet she did come in handy;
When hubby was randy,
The maid took good care of his lust.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
UPDATE: June 8 is Vacuum Cleaner Day, in honor of Ives W. McGaffey’s June 8, 1869 U.S. patent for the suction vacuum cleaner.
Tags: Competition Limerick, Inventions Humor, Ives W. McGaffey, June Holidays, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Odd Holidays, Patent Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Vacuum Cleaner Day, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Inventions Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 69 Comments »
Wednesday, May 20th, 2015
I find jeans to be patently uncomfortable. But I’m dutifully celebrating the birthday of its patent — granted to Levi Strauss and Jacob Davis on May 20th, 1873:
Call them denims or jeans — I don’t care–
That’s one garment I simply won’t wear.
I don’t buy the appeal
Of its look or its feel,
And I’d rather go naked. Don’t stare!
*****
National Blue Jeans Day falls on December 5th.
Tags: Blue Jeans Day, Clothing Humor, December Holidays, Denim Humor, Dungarees, Fashion Humor, Inventions Humor, Inventions Poem, Jacob Davis, Jeans Humor, Levi Strauss, Odd Holidays, Patent Humor
Posted in Fashion Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Physical Appearance | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, April 29th, 2015
Limerick Ode to the Zipper (Zipper Day: April 29)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’ll bet Gideon Sundback felt chipper
When designing the modern-day zipper–
An invention surpassin’
The old ways to fasten…
And a slick trick to hook a big tipper.
Tags: April Holidays, Bawdy Humor, Clothes Humor, Clothing Humor, Gideon Sundback, Inventions, Inventions Poem, National Zipper Day, Odd Holidays, Patent Humor, Zipper Day
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Clothing Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Monday, August 4th, 2014
Do we really need “smart shoes” that will vibrate us in the right direction using Google Maps? Ducere Technologies thinks so.
Smarting from “Smart Shoes” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear shoemakers, please have a heart.
I do NOT want my shoes to be smart.
I just want them to feel
(both my sole and my heel)
Like they’re not out for blood from the start.
Tags: Apps, Blue Tooth, Ducere Technologies, Google Maps, Lechal Smart Shoes, Odd Inventions, Patent Humor, Smart Shoes
Posted in Computer Humor, Fashion Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Technology Humor | 2 Comments »
Saturday, July 19th, 2014
Harvard students cook up another great idea: cake from a can.
Genius? Or Half-Baked? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Kindly can any concept of cake
That you spray from a can and then bake.
Though I’m loath to be curt,
I’ll desert a dessert
That spews forth from a can. Won’t partake!
Tags: Baking Humor, Baking Limerick, Cake Humor, Food Verse, Inventions Poem, Patent Humor, Spray Cake
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Genius? Or Half-Baked? (Limerick)
Friday, July 18th, 2014
Would You Waste Your Bread On This?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Are you burning for your photo
To appear on toasted bread?
Do you sense that such a portrait
Might just help you get ahead?
Well, a spanking new invention
May be just the thing you need:
There’s a selfie-making toaster.
Butter egos … and then feed.
Tags: Bread, Food Verse, Inventions, Inventions Poem, Patent Humor, Photography Humor, Selfies Humor, Toaster, Toaster Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Saturday, July 5th, 2014
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was wielding his drill…*
or
A teacher was trying to drill…*
or
The experienced clerk knew the drill…*
or
A fellow had loaned out his drill…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Drill
By Madeleine Begun Kane
As the dentist was wielding his drill,
He yelled at his patient, “Sit still!”
Then he bellowed with gravity,
“God-awful cavity!
It’s nearly as large as my bill.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
UPDATE: On January 26 we celebrate the anniversary of George Green’s 1875 electric dental drill patent. Okay … perhaps “celebrate” is the wrong word.
Tags: Cavity Humor, Competition Limerick, Dentist Drill, Dentist Humor, Dentistry, George Green, Inventions Humor, January Holidays, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Odd Holidays, Patent Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Inventions Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 77 Comments »
Wednesday, June 11th, 2014
Limerick Ode To The Stove
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A stove is a handy device.
For cooking, some say, it works nice.
I can’t speak to that fact,
For I don’t interact
Well with kitchens. I can, though, boil rice.
Today in Kitchen History: On June 11, 1793, Robert Haeterick was granted the first American stove patent for a stove design of cast iron.
Tags: Food Humor, Food Verse, Inventions Poem, Inventors, Kitchen Limerick, Patent Humor, Rice, Robert Haeterick, Robert Heterick, Science Advances, Science Humor, Stove Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, House & Home Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Science Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, June 4th, 2014
Limerick Ode To The ATM
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The money withdrawing machine
Is a temptress that often seems keen
On increasing our spending.
My balance needs mending!
Oh, what has become of my green?
Happy birthday to Don Wetzel’s Automated Teller Machine! (A patent for the ATM was granted to Donald Wetzel, Tom Barnes and George Chastain on June 4, 1973.)
Tags: ATM Humor, Bank Humor, Banking Limerick, Cash Machines, Donald Wetzel, George Chastain, Inventions Poem, June Holidays, Money & Finance Humor, Odd Holidays, Patent Humor, Tom Barnes
Posted in Inventions Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To the ATM
Wednesday, June 4th, 2014
Limerick Ode To The Shopping Cart
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sylvan Goldman designed something smart;
He invented the food shopping cart.
With its basket, it aids
In a task that pervades
All our lives — buying stuff at the mart.
On June 4, 1937, Humpty Dumpty supermarket chain owner Sylvan Goldman introduced his invention, the shopping cart, in Oklahoma City.
The invention did not catch on immediately. Men found them effeminate; women found them suggestive of a baby carriage. “I’ve pushed my last baby buggy,” offended women informed him. After hiring several male and female models to push his new invention around his store and demonstrate their utility, as well as greeters to explain their use, his folding-style shopping carts became extremely popular and Goldman became a multimillionaire by collecting a royalty on every folding design shopping cart in the United States.
Tags: Errands Humor, Household Chores, Humpty Dumpty, Inventions Poem, June Holidays, Odd Holidays, Patent Humor, Shopping Verse, Supermarket Aisles, Sylvan Goldman
Posted in Chores Humor, Food & Drink Humor, House & Home Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Shopping Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To The Shopping Cart
Tuesday, May 27th, 2014
I just discovered a delicious factoid: what we now know as Scotch Tape was invented by a banjo player who worked for 3M. The inventor, Richard Gurley Drew, patented his adhesive tape on May 27, 1930.
I’m Attached To Tape (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Picture life without 3M Scotch Tape:
Stuff we need to affix would escape.
Paper’s bound to be freed
(Sticky wicket, indeed!)
While we’re stuck, all unglued and agape.
Happy Cellophane Tape Day!
Tags: 3M Humor, Adhesive Tape, Banjo Player, Cellophane Tape, Cellophane Tape Day, Cellulose Tape, Inventions, Inventors, May Holidays, Odd Holidays, Patent Humor, Richard Gurley Drew, Science Humor, Science Limerick, Scotch Tape, Tape Humor
Posted in Celebrity Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Science Humor | Comments Off on I’m Attached To Tape (Limerick)
Monday, January 20th, 2014
Vendor Venting (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A package arrives, which I lift.
Since I’ve NOT placed an order, I’m miffed.
It’s a greedy misdeed
To anticipate need.
Dear Amazon: Thanks for the gift.
Note from Mad Kane: This hasn’t actually happened to me, but it’s only a matter of time. Why? Because Amazon has just patented “anticipatory shipping.”
Yes, Amazon thinks it knows what we want, even before we know we want it.
Sorry Amazon, but my husband can’t read my mind … and neither can you.
Tags: Amazon Humor, Anticipatory Shipping, Gift Humor, Money Verse, Online Humor, Patent Humor, Shopping Verse, Technology Humor
Posted in Computer Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Shopping Humor, Technology Humor | 10 Comments »
