“You are so out of touch,” said the teen
To his mother, “and also you’re mean!”
“I do not like your tone,”
She said, seizing his phone.
“And now YOU’RE out of touch. No more screen!”
Posts Tagged ‘Parenting Humor’
Just In Time For Mother’s Day (Limerick)
Sunday, May 12th, 2024Parenting Challenge (Limerick)
Sunday, August 13th, 2023When a clever, inquisitive lad
Would pester and pepper his dad
With questions galore,
His dad would implore:
“Ask your mom. She knows more. She’s a grad!”
A Youngster’s Quandary (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 15th, 2023A young girl had twin sisters, thirteen,
And, alas, both were older and mean.
When she tried tit for tat,
Parents called her a “brat.”
The poor tween was betwixt and between.
A Major Confrontation (Limerick)
Friday, August 5th, 2022When a gal switched her major to art,
Her parents’ responses were tart:
“Paying bills is a bitch,
So you’d best marry rich.”
“Are you planning to clerk at the mart?”
Snack Food Grievance (Limerick)
Thursday, April 7th, 2022A young gal grabbed her daughter to scold ’er:
“You should know better, now that you’re older.
Throwing snack food is rude,
Also wasteful and crude,”
Said the mom with a chip on her shoulder.
A Limerick Ode To Dice
Saturday, December 4th, 2021“Our son has a terrible vice;
He’s a gambler and not very nice.
When we tell him to stop,
He says, ‘Mother and Pop,
All my cards on the table: No dice!'”
(December 4 is “National Dice Day.”)
UPDATE: Due to a family health situation, I have to extend this Limerick-Off by one week. The new deadline for entries is February 9 at 10 pm. (Eastern Time) — Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: PLANE, PLAIN, COMPLAIN, Or EXPLAIN at the end of any one line
Saturday, January 19th, 2019It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using PLANE, PLAIN, COMPLAIN, or EXPLAIN at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to LIGHTING, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best LIGHTING-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on February 10, 2019, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you three full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 9, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
When a girl told her mom she was bored,
Her mother grew angry and roared:
“How dare you COMPLAIN!
Can’t you see I’m in pain?
Go play house, or I’m cutting the cord.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Pat Parental Retorts (Limerick)
Saturday, August 27th, 2016Parents dish out some phrases with glee:
“Just because!” “Cuz I said so!” “We’ll see!”
“Till you pay your own way,
You must do what I say!”
“Do you think money grows on a tree?”
Happy “Just Because Day!” (Aug. 27)
Badly-Behaved Parents (Limerick)
Friday, March 25th, 2016Today’s Crazy Headline of the Day deserves a limerick.
“Kindergarten play gets broken up by police after parents brawl over best seats.”
Most brawling takes place on the street
And in bars, but some cops on the beat
Had to break up a fight
At a school play one night:
Parents fighting to get the best seat.
I Wrote This Limerick “Just Because”
Tuesday, August 27th, 2013When I was a child, I hated the words “just because,” a favorite parental “explanation.” And yet there’s a “Just Because Day,” celebrated on August 27th by people who look at those words rather differently.
I Wrote This Limerick “Just Because”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The parental retort,”Just because,”
Is a stale and inadequate clause.
Moms might just as well say
“It’s the law, so obey!”
Or, hemmed in, just try hemming and haws.
Motherly Angst (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 8th, 2013Motherly Angst (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A mom at the end of her rope
Said “It’s hopeless! I simply can’t cope.
Both the food and the band
Appear to be canned.
The rest of my kids must elope!”
Happy Mother’s Day!
Freelance Mothering
Tuesday, May 7th, 2013This feels vaguely appropriate for Mother’s Day:
Freelance Mothering (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Be it newspapers, Web, magazines,
Mistakes are in print and on screens:
Though I’ve NO kids to nag,
I once learned in a mag:
I’m the very proud mother of teens.
True story: Many years ago I wrote several freelance humor columns for Family Circle Magazine, one of which was a “humorous contract” between parents and their teen about learning to drive.
I’ll never forget standing on a long line at the supermarket and spotting the issue I was scheduled to appear in, near the cash register. I grabbed the magazine, turned to the back page and excitedly started to read.
Everything look great … until I got to the bio note, which should have read: “Madeleine Begun Kane is a New York-based freelance humor columnist and lawyer.”
Instead, it read, “Madeleine Begun Kane is the mother of teens.”
And no, I do NOT have any children … unless, of course, you count my hubby Mark.
Bright Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, November 25th, 2012It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who wasn’t too bright…*
or
A fellow who wasn’t too bright…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Bright Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who wasn’t too bright
Met a fellow who wasn’t quite “right.”
They wed, had a kid—
High IQ — off the grid.
Please don’t ask “Who’s the dad?”— Impolite!
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
One Father’s Day Limerick Too Many?
Thursday, June 14th, 2012One Father’s Day Limerick Too Many?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A pregnant young woman named Kay
Was due to give birth the next day.
So it wasn’t sublime
When her spouse picked that time
To confess that he really was gay.
Edible Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, November 20th, 2011It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man was attempting to eat…
or
A gal was attempting to eat…
Here’s mine, which I hope doesn’t describe your Thanksgiving dinner:
Edible Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man was attempting to eat
When he spotted a mouse near his seat.
So he smashed down his foot,
And the mouse went kaput,
As his kid cried, “You killed little Pete!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Dining On Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, September 4th, 2011It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was trying to dine…
or
A woman was trying to dine…
Here’s mine:
Dining On Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was trying to dine,
When a teenager started to whine.
Then a baby chimed in —
Spoiled his steak. What a sin!
So he yelled, “Damn those children of mine!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Just In Time For Father’s Day
Saturday, June 18th, 2011Father’s Day Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Do not argue with me,” said the dad
To his son, who was making him mad.
“You are too disputatious,
Your point is fallacious,
And…” “Huh?” said the four-year-old lad.
Frazzled Limerick 
Sunday, October 31st, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A frazzled new father named Jim…
Here’s mine:
Frazzled Limerick (Frazzled Limerick Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A frazzled new father named Jim
Bought his baby toy trains on a whim.
When his wife saw the gift,
She was terribly miffed,
So she yelled, “That’s for you. What’s for him?”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Update: May 2 is Baby Day.
