Posts Tagged ‘Odd Holidays’

Donut Daze (Limerick)

Saturday, November 5th, 2022

A fresh donut was found in the grass,
Not yet fettered by insects en masse.
Who’d abandon a tasty
Sweet treat? Seems a hasty
Retreat must have caused this to pass.

National Donut Day a/k/a National Doughnut Day falls on two days a year: November 5 and the first Friday of June.

AWOL Holidays (Limerick)

Saturday, October 29th, 2022

I maintain an “Odd Holiday” list,
But I keep finding key dates I’ve missed:
“Checklists Day” isn’t there.
It was ONCE there, I swear!
Must enlist an “Alexa” assist.

(October 30th is Checklists Day.)

The Colorful Artist (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 25th, 2022

An artist named Hugh would imbue
All his paintings with one fav’rite hue:
Mostly teal with a touch
Of turquoise and such.
Mocked at first, fame came out of the blue.
*****

Happy “International Artists Day!” (Celebrated each year on October 25)

A Knotty Problem (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 18th, 2022

This limerick is a very compressed version of a necktie adventure with hubby Mark. And I can’t think of a better way to celebrate “International Necktie Day.”

“You MUST wear a necktie to enter,”
Mark was told. He’s a necktie dissenter,
But he re-tied his tie
Till our drinks were dropped by,
Then removed it — my waitress tormenter.

Celebrating Pasta (Limerick)

Monday, October 17th, 2022

“I’ve a hunch you had pasta for brunch.
There are stains on your clothing — a bunch.
And they’ll never come out;
Of that fact there’s no doubt.
You should learn not to leak when you lunch.”

*****

Happy National Pasta Day! (October 17)

The Key To Getting Along (Limerick)

Monday, October 17th, 2022

My new boss and I get along well.
What’s our secret? We both never tell
One another our views
On religion and news.
(I suspect, though, he’s going to hell.)

*****

Happy National Boss Day!

It’s “National Dictionary Day!” (Limerick)

Sunday, October 16th, 2022

It’s “National Dictionary Day,” which gives me a good excuse to post a limerick about another new-to-me term: “Dawn Chorus.”

(For the record, all the names have been changed to protect the guilty.)

“Let’s go back to that lovely ‘Fowl Inn,’”
Said my spouse, quite forgetting its din.
’Twas no use telling Boris
(A bull-headed Taurus)
That its dawn chorus drove us to gin.

*****

Happy birthday to American lexicographer Noah Webster, of dictionary compilation fame. He was born October 16, 1758.

Yet Another Brassy Limerick

Monday, October 10th, 2022

Most orchestra members would groan
At the principal trumpeter’s tone.
But his job was secure,
Cuz his lips held allure
For the maestro, a horny old crone.

*****

National Trumpet Day falls on October 10.

Persnickety Patron (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 5th, 2022

The oatmeal you served me was stale!
And my dinner? How dare you serve kale!
The meals here don’t thrill me.
You trying to kill me?
Better not, or I’ll see you in jail!

*****

(National Kale Day falls on the first Wednesday of October.)

Half-Baked Limerick

Friday, September 30th, 2022

A baker was well on his way
To a lifetime of waste and decay,
When he met a cute gal
Who said, “Listen up pal!
Straighten out, or no rolls in the hay.”

(September 30 is National Bakery Day.)

A Dogged Quest (3-Verse Limerick)

Wednesday, September 28th, 2022

A woman who wanted a pet
Became angry, perturbed, and upset:
She’d been told dog adoption
Was OUT as an option…
Cuz she spent too much time on the net.

She replied, “If the net’s bad, then why
Is your website the place we must buy
These sweet canines you say
Need a home? Still say ‘Nay?’
Any court will your ruling decry.”

Upon hearing her not-so-veiled threat,
The naysayer started to sweat.
Since his site can’t afford
To be sued, he’s on board.
Her new spaniel — Tibetan — great get!

*****

(Happy “World Pet Day” — September 28.)

Jacked By Robots (Limerick)

Monday, September 26th, 2022

Today (September 26) is both Lumberjack Day and Robot Day. So it’s ironic that robots are stealing jobs from lumberjacks.

A lumberjack, dressed like a slob,
Gets fired and lets out a sob:
“I’ve been cut down to size
By a gizmo,” he cries.
“A robot has stolen my job!”

Yet Another “Punctuation Day” Limerick

Saturday, September 24th, 2022

How to punctuate: That is the query.
Ill-timed marks can be irksome and dreary.
Bangs, ellipses, and dashes
Add drama in flashes.
Overuse is abusive!!! — Be leery!!!!!

(National Punctuation Day is celebrated yearly on September 24th.)

Eat A Banana? Nah! (Limerick)

Saturday, September 10th, 2022

It’s “Banana Day,” giving me a great excuse to bitch about bananas. (It’s lucky that Mark and I like them at different stages of ripeness. Otherwise, they’d all end up tossed into the garbage.)

“You should eat that banana today,”
Says Mark. “Ugh, it’s TOO ripe,” I say.
“It peaked overnight.
Now it’s yours. Have a bite!
It’s perfect for you; old and gray.”

Hold The Bacon! (Limerick)

Saturday, September 3rd, 2022

An Orthodox woman was shakin’;
She’d been saved by a stranger from breakin’
Sev’ral bones in a fall.
The stranger (quite tall)
Said “No handshake? I just saved your bacon.”

******
“International Bacon Day” is celebrated on the first Saturday in September each year.

Please Don’t Suggest Chess! (Limerick)

Thursday, September 1st, 2022

I count “chess” among the many things I’m bad at. But to those who enjoy it, happy “American Chess Day!”

I hate losing, so playing a game
That I’m poor at feels foolish and lame,
Which is why I avoid
Playing chess. I’m annoyed
When I look like a dim-witted dame.

Mutt Memories (Limerick)

Sunday, July 31st, 2022

When I starting drafting this limerick, I meant it to be a National Mutt Day verse. But it seems to have turned into something else:

I had many a mutt growing up.
My fav’rite behaved like a pup
Well into old age.
And my husband, who’s sage,
Takes his lead from that dog. Clever? Yup!

Chastened Chess Player (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 20th, 2022

When I learn a new word, I sometimes feel compelled to use it in a limerick:

At chess, he is far from adept;
He’s slow-moving, sloppy, inept.
Many call him a patzer;
An apt term at that, sir.
When he gave up the game, no one wept.

(Today, July 20th, is International Chess Day.)

NOT Celebrating World Emoji Day (Limerick)

Sunday, July 17th, 2022

I’ll admit it: Emojis confuse me.
If you post one, you’re likely to lose me,
For I stare at them blankly.
I tell you this frankly:
Nix pics! Only words can amuse me.

(July 17th is World Emoji Day.)

Still Bugged By Mosquitoes (Limerick)

Monday, July 11th, 2022

Wherever I go (or I’ve been)
Bugs attack me, ignoring my kin.
I scratch and I itch
And I can’t help but bitch…
Cuz mosquitoes get under my skin!

Update: August 20 is World Mosquito Day.