A lim’rick a day keeps away
The doctor — at least, so they say.
Well okay, I’ll concede
I invented that lede,
But it sure beats that “apple” cliché!
UPDATE: Happy Cliché Day, November 3rd!
Posts Tagged ‘November Holidays’
Are Limericks Good For Your Health?
Sunday, May 12th, 2019Limerick Ode To Stout Day (1st Thursday of November)
Thursday, November 1st, 2018While I don’t drink stout (or any sort of beer, ale, lager, etc.) I couldn’t resist celebrating “International Stout Day” with a limerick:
A patient whose ailment was gout,
Was informed that he drank too much stout.
The fellow turned pale,
As he yelled “I need ale!
“Downing beer is what living’s about.”
Limerick Ode To Toilet Paper Day
Saturday, August 27th, 2016For folks in a tight money squeeze,
Don’t raise the bath tissue price, please.
Though it’s paper-made true,
This factor I rue:
Bathroom tissue does NOT grow on trees.
A belated National Toilet Paper Day. (Aug. 26)
*****
UPDATE: The United Nations celebrates “World Toilet Day” on November 19.
Don’t Tell Anybody, But…
Friday, November 13th, 2015I’ve heard a little rumor
That it’s “Start A Rumor Day”
From some scuttlebutting boomer.
Let’s hold gossiping at bay.
Pretend I did not tell you
Of this holiday, absurd.
Please don’t let my news impel you
To repeat it. Not a word!
Limerick Ode To Bagpipe Appreciation Day (July 27)
Monday, July 27th, 2015Limerick Ode To Bagpipe Appreciation Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A spy was perturbed by the drone
From some bagpipes, a mind-numbing tone.
Though he wanted to pound
The source of that sound,
He held back, lest his cover be blown.
*****
UPDATE: November 19 is “National Blow Bagpipes Day.”
Thanksgiving Limerick
Thursday, November 27th, 2014Thanksgiving Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I should really stop singing the blues
And bemoaning the terrible news
And, instead, send this greeting:
At least we are eating;
Many people lack roof, food, and shoes.
Limerick Ode To Greedy Stores
Tuesday, November 25th, 2014Limerick Ode To Greedy Stores
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Don’t reward greedy, cynical stores
For behaving like gluttonous whores:
If they’re open on days
Like Thanksgiving, it pays
To shop elsewhere. Don’t walk through their doors!
******
A Companion Haiku:
Stores, be on notice:
Open doors on Thanksgiving?
Brace for a boycott.
******
“Absurdity Day” and “Air Your Dirty Laundry Day” Haiku (Nov. 20)
Thursday, November 20th, 2014In honor of “Absurdity Day” and “Air Your Dirty Laundry Day,” here’s a pair of haiku:
“Absurdity Day”
How is this day different
from all other days?
*****
I don’t celebrate
“Air Your Dirty Laundry Day”
Because it’s a wash.
Limerick Ode To “Homemade Bread Day” (Nov. 17)
Monday, November 17th, 2014Limerick Ode To Homemade Bread Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It is Homemade Bread Day, but don’t make me.
Even future bread begs, “Please don’t bake me!”
I’m not good with a stove;
Don’t know clover, from clove.
In the kitchen my brain cells forsake me.
Limerick Ode To “Lovable Lawyers Day” (October 8)
Wednesday, October 8th, 2014Limerick Ode To “Lovable Lawyers Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s “Lovable Lawyers Day.” Whee!
But this day isn’t greeted with glee.
It seems most people say:
“Love a Lawyer? No Way!”
But what about ex-Esqs … like me?
*****
Alternative Version for “Love Your Lawyer Day” (1st Friday in November)
“Love Your Lawyer Day” most will agree
Isn’t greeted with gusto or glee.
Many clients would say:
“Love my lawyer? No way!”
But what about ex-Esqs … like me?
Limerick Ode To National Absurdity Day
Wednesday, November 20th, 2013Happy National Absurdity Day! (November 20)
Limerick Ode To National Absurdity Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Today you can get a free pass
To be zany — do things that lack class:
It’s Absurdity Day,
So go your own way—
Skip backwards, dance nude, kiss a bass.
I’m Not Hooked On This Patent (Limerick)
Thursday, November 7th, 2013Here’s an invention we could have done nicely without: On November 7, 1876, the cigarette manufacturing machine was patented by Albert H. Hook.
I’m Not Hooked On This Patent (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A patent that now seems obscene
For the cigarette making machine
Has a birthday today.
Albert Hook paved the way,
Hooking people on cigs to make green.
Limerick Ode To “Use Your Common Sense Day”
Monday, November 4th, 2013Happy “Use Your Common Sense Day.” (November 4)
Limerick Ode To “Use Your Common Sense Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are people with brilliance immense
Who lack, nonetheless, common sense.
Despite great comprehension,
You might have to mention:
“Wear clothing. This blizzard’s intense.”
Limerick Ode To “World Kindness Day”
Tuesday, November 13th, 2012Happy “World Kindness Day,” which is celebrated on November 13th.
Limerick Ode To “World Kindness Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s “World Kindness Day.” Try to be nice.
Put your mean inclinations on ice.
Be pleasant and sweet—
A warm smile would be neat.
Please don’t hurt me — it’s only advice.
(Linked at DVerse Poets.)
International Accounting Day (Limerick)
Friday, November 9th, 2012Happy International Accounting Day, which is celebrated on November 10th. My apologies to accountants for this limerick:
Limerick Ode To An Excellent Career
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The comptroller had tried to do well
With his powerful urge to excel.
He had planned out his life
Using spreadsheets, but strife
Intervened. He’s accounting in hell.
UPDATE: October 17 is Spreadsheet Day.
A Sax Tale
Saturday, November 3rd, 2012A Sax Tale
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A blowhard musician named Rand
Played sax (not too well) in a band.
He’d blow solos, yet boast.
Now he’s finally toast—
The leader, at last, took a stand.
UPDATE: November 6 is Saxophone Day, in honor of inventor Adolphe Sax’s birthday in 1814.
