It’s December 16, the birthday of one of my favorite composers, Ludwig van Beethoven. And to celebrate, I’ve written both a limerick and a haiku:
Since it’s Beethoven’s birthday, please laud
All his great compositions. Applaud!
And don’t ask me to choose
Which is best. I’d need booze!
And there’s no room for boos when I’m awed.
*****
Cacophonic sounds
often spewed by symphonies–
Bring back Beethoven!
Though it’s rare that I cavil or carp,
And on errors, I try not to harp,
I am ditched by my filter
When pitch is off-kilter;
My critique will be harsh — flat-out sharp!
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BOARD or BORED at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PITCH, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PITCH-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: SINK, REFUSE, DAWN, ALARMING, CROWD.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 17, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 16, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BOARD or BORED-Rhyme Limerick:
When a man reached an online accord
To buy wood, he was certain he’d scored.
But, alas, he had not;
He’d been duped by a bot
That sent rot and was NOT above board.
And here’s my PITCH-Themed Limerick:
Her singing was heartfelt and loud.
(With great volume that gal’s well-endowed.)
But her pitch was so sad,
The conductor (her dad)
Told his fans “It’s my bad,” as he bowed.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
It’s pre-dawn. I’m in front of the sink,
Washing up, while attempting to think
Of a rhyme. But my muse
Yawned and said, “I refuse.
Don’t abuse me. I’m NOT in the pink!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
A fellow who plays violin
Bears his neck pain with grace and a grin:
“Yes the problem is big,
But it comes with the gig;
I must take all my aches on the chin.”
(December 13th is National Violin Day.)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who tended to fret…*
or
A fellow was told not to fret…*
or
A guitarist had broken a fret…*
or
A repairman was fixing a fret…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Fretting About Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A cellist would frequently fret
Over women the minute they met.
Could he strike the right chord?
But the gals all got bored;
He was one-note — not much of a get.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick Discord
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If your scale is “C major” then fa
Equals F (the fourth note) and not la.
But those la’s turn to F’s
When the key by your clef’s
“A flat major.” Confused? La-di-da.
To this day, Last Dance is one of my favorite songs to dance to. RIP Donna Summer!
Limerick Ode To Donna Summer
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Alas we have lost Donna Summer
And her beautiful voice. What a bummer!
She was Hot Stuff, the Queen
Of a musical scene,
Who’s Last Danced to her own disco drummer.
Today I have a bit of fun with two pairs of synonyms:
The words nigh and near —
synonyms, and yet just one
sizzles and sings.
Near merely describes,
while the soaring nigh evokes —
close but no cigar.
But don’t pity near —
it verbs — something nigh can’t do.
This verse now burned out.
*****
Metier, I hear,
is a forte synonym.
What a grand duo —
one traded for the other —
pianometier music.
*****
(Pompted by nigh from Haiku Heights and Weekend Theme’s metier.)
String quartet concert
missing one violinist—
time to improvise.
*****
Cruising musician
garners Carnegie Hall gig—
fantasy at sea.
*****
Distracted jazzer
misplaces his melodies—
loses audience.
****
Clueless conductor
hurls baton at oboist—
finally a cue.
*****
Billy Joel said:
We Didn’t Start The Fire.
Maybe we need to.
*****
(My first and third haiku were inspired by The Writer’s Island improvise prompt. My second haiku was inspired by Haiku Wednesday’s fantasy prompt. My late addition 5th haiku was inspired by Sunday Scribblings’ fire prompt.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A diva was slammed in the news…
Here’s mine:
Bad News Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A diva was slammed in the news.
The column was chock full of boos.
It lambasted her voice
And her musical choice.
Now that woman is singing the blues.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who worked for her dad…
Here’s mine:
Family Business
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who worked for her dad
Sure needed that job really bad.
Though she did have a skill,
Most employers don’t thrill
At a waitress who’s mastered her Strad.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Update: Happy National Waiters and Waitresses Day! (May 21)
Update 2: Happy National Violin Day! (December 13)
As I’ve mentioned previously, Comix is one of my favorite New York City comedy clubs. And it sure didn’t disappoint Friday night when we saw the hilarious Ted Alexandro and “Friends” Pete Dominick, Joe Derosa, and Morgan Murphy.
Headliner Alexandro, a former elementary school music teacher, was the highlight of the evening. I love his comic sensibility, his pacing and his fearless use of silence. But hubby Mark and I also enjoyed the other comedians, especially Morgan Murphy, who somehow manages to sound both depressed and funny at the same time.
Getting back to Alexandro, in one segment of his routine Alexandro waxes funny about teaching little kids the recorder (presumably the children’s version, known as a flutophone.)
This comedy bit inspired me (an oboe performance major who once taught the oboe) to write a limerick in honor of Alexandro’s transition from music teacher to standup comic:
Limerick Ode To Ted Alexandro
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A funny young fellow named Ted,
Who majored in musical ed,
Taught kiddies recorduh.
An instrument? Sorta.
But now he’s a comic, instead.
UPDATE: Ted Alexandro inspired me to write him another limerick when he joined the Wall Street protests.
Prompted to pay special attention to tempo and pacing, I’ve written a tanka made up entirely of Italian musical tempo terms. (At long last my Cal Arts BFA in Music Performance pays off.)
Tempo, Tempo
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Largo, andante,
Allegro ma non troppo,
Accelerando,
Vivace, rallentando,
Allargando al fine.
(You can find more of my musical verse and humor here.)
This pair of short, music-related verse was loosely inspired by this week’s Totally Optional Prompt.
Musical Question
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I watch a flautist play the flute.
She’s really great—there’s no dispute.
Distraction strikes: I know it’s moot,
But why don’t lautists play the lute?
Second Chair Blues (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“I play second chair symphony flute,”
Said the flautist. (“My wife plays the lute.”)
“How I wish I had clout!
Then I’d fire the lout
Who plays first chair. He’s here cause he’s cute.”
(You can find more of my song parodies here.)
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
