It’s December 16, the birthday of one of my favorite composers, Ludwig van Beethoven. And to celebrate, I’ve written both a limerick and a haiku:
Since it’s Beethoven’s birthday, please laud
All his great compositions. Applaud!
And don’t ask me to choose
Which is best. I’d need booze!
And there’s no room for boos when I’m awed.
*****
Cacophonic sounds
often spewed by symphonies–
Bring back Beethoven!
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SLIP or SLIPPED at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DECEIT, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DECEIT-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
BOTTLE, DARK, GUITAR, RELEASE, SCOLD.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa, and use any other variant of the random words. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on June 2, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 1, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SLIP or SLIPPED-Rhyme Limerick:
The young oboist tried not to slip
While adjusting her reed; a small snip
Was essential — that’s all!
The reed cracked! Did she bawl?
No, she still kept a stiff upper lip.
And here’s my DECEIT-Themed Limerick:
You have taken advantage of me,
Yet again, said a gal to “pal” Leigh.
I’m feeling abused,
Betrayed and misused,
And I’m betting a court will agree.
You’ve frequently borrowed my spouse
To repair things that break in your house.
It appears that “repair”
Is code for “affair.”
How dare you have sex with that louse!
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
Do not bottle up feelings, we’re told,
But that sort of advice leaves me cold.
Were my feelings released
I’d turn into a beast;
An express-it-all, ornery scold.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TACK or ATTACK at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ANNOYANCES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best ANNOYANCE-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
FALL, FREAKY, GLAMOROUS, LONGER, POINTLESS.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa, and use any other variant of the random words. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 5, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 4, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my TACK or ATTACK-Rhyme Limerick:
In the summer, mosquitoes attack.
(Seems my blood, alas, makes a good snack.)
They hang out in our yard,
Hungry, always on guard
For their “meal” to take one step out back.
And here’s my ANNOYANCE-Themed Limerick:
My enjoyment of scat singing’s scant.
I’m averse to Gregorian Chant.
Bagpipe bands drive me mad!
Vuvuzelas are BAD!
This concludes my unmusical rant.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
An ambitious young woman named Kyle
Found her trend-setting efforts a trial.
One fall evening, she freaked
When this fashion news leaked:
Her new gown was no longer in style.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off Post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
An old woman kept humming an air;
A refrain that her spouse could not bear.
“Stop that racket!” he shrieked.
She refused, so he freaked.
Will she do it again? Alas, NE’ER!
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using GRAND at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to COACHES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best COACH-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
GRIP, LUSH, PROMISING, SEARCH, YARN.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on February 11, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 10, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my GRAND-Rhyme Limerick:
A grandstanding fellow named Mel
Plays the piano, but not very well.
His recital was panned:
“He abused that poor grand
And deserves a life sentence in hell.”
And here’s my COACH-Themed Limerick:
“Don’t sit like a bump on a log,”
Said the coach. “Shake a leg. Maybe jog.
If you want to get fit,
It’s time to show grit,
And skip all the eggnog and grog.”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
While reciting a tale, Dan said “Darn!
I’ve forgotten the end of this yarn,
Which (I promise) is gripping.
It features unzipping
And (maybe) a cow in a barn.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
A musician enjoying a fling
With a gal, almost bought her a ring.
What changed the man’s mind?
He was saddened to find
She mistakenly thinks she can sing.
A nasty conductor named Flynn
Yelled, “What in the hell was that din?”
“Not my fault,” said a drummer.
“That gong is a bummer!”
“I’ve warned you,” said Flynn. “Don’t chime in!”
“My career choice was NOT the astutest;
There are very few jobs for a flutist.
How I wish that I heeded
My parents, who pleaded:
‘Don’t toot on that flute. Be a lutist!'”
I’ve been a fan of Keith Olbermann for as long as I can remember. And Mark and I have been enjoying his new podcast version of Countdown, ever since he launched it last August on iHeartMedia — Beethoven theme music and all.
But speaking of Beethoven, I have just one quibble: Although Keith has an outstanding speaking voice, his singing voice leaves a lot to be desired. So I’ve written this limerick in hopes of persuading Keith to cease singing Beethoven’s “Ode To Joy” whenever he’s overcome by schadenfreude … or at any other time, for that matter.
(Here’s a link to one of his “Ode To Joy” renditions, just in case you’re in a masochistic mood. It starts at minute fifteen of that podcast episode.)
Dear Keith, you’re a podcasting king.
I relish your wit and your zing.
And when you deploy
Your rants, I feel joy.
But PLEASE stop attempting to sing!
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
