I’m afraid I can’t stop writing tax return limericks — probably because it’s a lot more fun than actually working on my tax return.
Yet Another Tax Filing Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Why does tax filing time cause such stress?
Wretched forms to fill out—it’s a mess!
All confused, you say, “Heck!”
Then you write out a check
For what’s due or, at least, your best guess.
So, have you started working on your income tax return yet? Me neither.
Form 1040 Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a tax form that makes me irate:
Form 1040, a long form I hate,
Due mid-April, each year,
With my check. (Will it clear?)
It’s no wonder I always file late.
Taxing Times
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My husband Mark and I usually prepare our joint tax returns jointly. Being good citizens, we begin early in February with tax planning discussions like this:
Mark: We really should start doing our taxes next Saturday.
Me: You’re absolutely right. I’ll pick up Quicksand’s ShirkoTax this week.
By late March we’ve made impressive progress:
Mark: We really should start doing our taxes next Saturday.
Me: You’re absolutely right. I’ll pick up Quicksand’s ShirkoTax this week.
Our tax planning culminates promptly on April 14 when Mark boots up the computer, loads ShirkoTax, and does whatever it is one does with tax software. … (Taxing Times is continued here.)
Man Can’t Live By Bread Alone … Or Can He?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s some bread for some bread at the store.
Bring back change or you’re toast, cause we’re poor.
Get me wheat bread or white,
And I’ll toast it quite light.
But this dough ain’t for anything more.
UPDATE: I’ve just learned via Cloaked Monk that today, March 23rd, is Toast Day. So don’t forget to toast Toast Day.
Backup Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane
They told me to back up my drive,
Which has crashed—it’s no longer alive.
Had I heeded their warning,
I wouldn’t be mourning
My data, which didn’t survive.
Antique Antics
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Is this lampshade antique or just old?
They tell me it’s rare. I’m not sold.
But I had it appraised
And was rather amazed:
It’s worth thousands, though covered in mold.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
