“I’m afraid of long tunnels! Can’t do it,”
Said a claustrophobe. “Stop, or you’ll rue it!”
“Close your eyes and don’t whine,”
Said his wife. “You’ll be fine!
You can open them now. You got through it!”
Posts Tagged ‘Mental Health Humor’
Tunnel Vision (Limerick)
Sunday, May 19th, 2024Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DRINK or DRINKS at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: July 22, 2023)
Saturday, June 24th, 2023It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DRINK or DRINKS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TASTE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TASTE-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: ACE, AFRAID, FUNCTION, JADED, UPSET.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on July 23, 2023 , right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 22, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DRINK/DRINKS-Rhyme Limerick:
A nurse who appears on the brink
Of a breakdown stopped seeing her shrink.
“He’s been making me worse,”
She asserts with a curse.
“Plus he claims that I drove him to drink.”
And here’s my TASTE-Themed Limerick:
A gal with a poor sense of style
Hadn’t bought any clothes in a while.
So she purchased a dress,
A bright red, tasteless mess,
Way too ugly and gross to defile.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
I’m afraid that I’m being replaced
Based on nothing important; I’ve aced
All my functions and more,
Yet they’ve shown me the door.
Their grievance? They claim I eat paste.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Happy Yoga Day! (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 21st, 2023This headline reminded me that today (June 21) is International Day Of Yoga: “International Yoga Day: PM Modi leads celebrations at UN Headquarters in New York”.
So it’s time for yet another yoga-related limerick:
I used to do yoga most days.
It was more than a health-conscious phase.
But I did it MY way;
Certain moves were a NAY
To avoid setting bad wrists ablaze.
AWOL Data (Limerick)
Wednesday, November 24th, 2021My over-taxed brain is jam-packed
With info and data; in fact,
Input causes displacement
And mem’ry debasement…
So I’m not out to lunch; I’ve been hacked.
Do Bosses Really Need/Deserve a “Boss Day?” (Limerick)
Friday, October 15th, 2021Happy “National Boss Day!” (celebrated October 16, or the closest work day.)
When my boss said, “Please join me for brunch,”
I agreed, though I did have a hunch
That the man is a cad
And quite possibly mad.
I was right; he’s, alas, out to lunch.
Traffic Tale (Limerick)
Tuesday, June 8th, 2021I found myself trapped among honkers
On a traffic-filled road deep in Yonkers.
Construction ahead?
A shooting? Some dead?
Whatever it was … they’d gone bonkers.
Yet Another Pandemic Challenge (Limerick)
Wednesday, April 1st, 2020The pandemic is causing a strain
On emotional health. What a bane!
We feel trapped! Tempers flare!
Can’t escape! I need air!
(Hey divorce lawyers, look for a gain.)
A Limerick for International Day Of Yoga (June 21)
Saturday, June 20th, 2015The U.N. has decreed June 21 to be International Day Of Yoga … which gives me a handy excuse to post this silly limerick:
A gal doing yoga while dressed
In a toga, when questioned, confessed
That her garb did not work—
Turned her poses berserk.
So instead of relaxed, she was stressed.
Multitask THIS! (Limerick)
Thursday, October 9th, 2014Multitask THIS! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Multitasking is bad for your brain,
Says a study I read on the plane
While cleaning my purse,
Writing email and verse.
Now where WAS I? That study’s insane!
According to research done at Stamford University, we are all seriously screwed.
Nutty Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, October 28th, 2012It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who was rather a nut…*
or
A gal who was rather a nut…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Nutty Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who was rather a nut
Held a broad definition of smut:
With standards unbending,
He’d freak when attending
A film, often shouting out “Cut!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
In Defense Of TV (Limerick)
Friday, June 8th, 2012From time to time, somebody annoys me with bald assertions like this: “I don’t own a TV; they rot the brain.”
I usually ignore them, but NOT this time:
In Defense Of TV (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There is good stuff and bad on TV.
Some will rot out your brain, I agree.
(Fox News comes to mind.)
But there’s great stuff to find.
Just be choosy and spurn the debris.
Is Mental Health Overrated?
Monday, December 18th, 2006Is Mental Health Overrated?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a drunken, loud fellow
Who ordered his drinks with a bellow.
Then they put him on meds.
Now he’s placid, instead,
And quite boring, since turning so mellow.
