Posts Tagged ‘Matty’

Limerick of the Week (42)

Sunday, January 1st, 2012

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:

Congratulations to BYRON MILLER a/k/a ERROL NIMBLY who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A husband who’d stepped on some toes,
Always staying out late with some hos,
Woke to breakfast in bed
And a short note, which read:
Here’s your sausage, I hope it regrows.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Matty, RJ Clarken, Gordon Richmond, and Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:

A fellow who’d stepped on some toes
When competing with ballroom dance pros
Displayed in his jive,
While broadcasting live,
What a slip of the zip might expose.

Jane Shelton Hoffman:

A fellow who’d stepped on some toes
Had created a large group of foes.
So in spite of his drive
His career took a dive
And he ended up stocking at Lowes.

Matty:

A fellow who’d stepped on some toes
Had an ego as big as his nose,
Until one day his bride
Shot a hole in his pride
And told him the sex really blows.

RJ Clarken:

A fellow who stepped on some toes
And garnered political woes
Told more lies and then cheered
When opponents got smeared
While the public got led by the nose.

Gordon Richmond:

A woman who’d stepped on some toes
By writing her triple X prose
Was sent off to jail
And denied any bail;
Now she lives with the rest of the hos.

Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly:

Said a sultan who’d stepped on some toes,
“In a harem, that’s just how it goes:
With my wives all entangled
A few may get mangled —
It’s best to arrange them in rows.”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

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Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 3 Comments »

Limerick of the Week (23)

Sunday, August 21st, 2011

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:

Congratulations to BRUCE NIEDT who wins Limerick of the Week for this entertaining verse:

A woman who always seemed game
Bedded men who all asked her the same:
“Did you have a good time?”
And each night she would chime,
“Oh yes! I am so glad I came!”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Johanna Richmond, Matty, Ira Bloom, and Jesse Levy. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Johanna Richmond

A woman who always seemed game
Loved a man who put “spicey” to shame;
While his creamed pepper jack
Made a very nice snack,
His Jamaican jerk set her aflame.

Matty:

A fellow who always seemed game
Went out with a strange looking dame.
As the petting got heavy
In back of his Chevy,
He found out that Pete was her name.

Ira Bloom:

A woman who always seemed game,
From Siam, said without any shame:
“I will whip your behind,
If you like Thais that bind,
‘Cause I dress not to kill, but to maim.”

Jesse Levy:

A woman who always seemed game,
Could never remember my name.
I told her, quite peevy,
“My dear, it is Levy.”
Now her name and mine are the same.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

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Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week | 9 Comments »

Limerick of the Week (10)

Sunday, May 22nd, 2011

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and five Honorable Mentions:

Congratulations to JOHANNA RICHMOND who wins Limerick of the Week for this witty and timely verse:

A fellow was hatching a plot
(Cruel, evil, corrupt, dot, dot, dot);
But for once folks cried out,
Even Newt voiced his doubt;
Paul, your vouchers aint worth diddly-squat.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Victoria Ceretto-Slotto, Earlybird, David Lefkovits a/k/a Mr. Goose, and Matty. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:

A fellow was hatching a plot
To tutor his parrot a lot.
She not only could squawk.
In nine tongues she could talk.
She’s known as a true Polly-glot.

Victoria Ceretto-Slotto:

A fellow was hatching a plot
Involving his girlfriend named Dot.
He’d take her to Reno
and make a bambino.
Then she’d have to agree: “Tie the knot!”

Earlybird:

A woman was hatching a plot
To pepper her man with lead shot.
She thought she’d have fun
With a sawn-off shot gun,
Then boil his remains in a pot.

David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:

A woman was hatching a plot
For seducing a boy who was hot:
“I’ll have him, me thinks,
After plying with drinks
At some out-of-the-way little boîte.”

Matty:

A woman was hatching a plot
To marry a man who was hot.
When she offered a lay,
The gent walked away.
A beautiful gal she was not.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week | 11 Comments »