Happy Pi Day! (The last time I wrote a limerick for Pi Day, I was one day late. But this time I decided to be as precise as Pi.)
Limerick Ode To Pi Day (March 14th)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The math’matical constant called “Pi”
Is Greek to your average guy.
“Transcendental,” some call it,
But most people maul it;
Comprehension is pie in the sky.
Happy National Grammar Day (March 4).
Grammar Gripes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A grammar-fanatic would gripe
To his wife about language, and snipe:
“Your syntax is bad!”
She’d respond, really mad:
“I’ll divorce you if down you don’t pipe.”
Happy Information Overload Day! (October 20, 2015)
Limerick Ode To Information Overload (3-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Too much data is haunting my dreams–
Excess info and too many memes.
Overloaded with news,
My brain has the blues:
“I’m cluttered with tidbits,” it screams.
So what’s the solution pray tell
That will free me from info-stress hell?
Turn off ev’ry machine
And device? That sounds mean
And quite limiting. Not a good sell!
Is there anything else I can do?
I suppose I could hide in the loo.
But alas and alack,
That room has a stack
Of old weeklies — a factoid fondue.
***
Update: The first Friday of March is the National Day of Unplugging.
Happy anniversary to the corkscrew! On March 27, 1860, New Yorker M.L. Byrn patented a corkscrew design. “It was T-shaped, based on gadgets that had long been used to extract bullets stuck in the muzzles of guns. Corkscrews had been around before Byrn’s invention, but his design became the standard in America for decades.”
Limerick Ode To The Corkscrew
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Make a toast to a corking invention–
An aid in removing our tension.
Does your life feel screwed up?
Need some sips with your sup?
Then give praise for the corkscrew’s ascension.
Today, March 20th, is National Proposal Day. And so…
The Proposal (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was very concerned:
Would his marriage proposal be spurned?
He’d been turned down before:
Four gals slammed shut the door.
So no doorways for him — lesson learned.
Spring? You’re Kidding, Right? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Spring is legally set to begin,
Which in light of the weather’s a sin:
Last night we had snow,
Sleet, and ice here and so
There’s a seasonal mix-up herein.
Suspenseful Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a hitch in today’s celebrations,
But no reason to hold back libations.
Cuz it’s not for the birds
And it’s not just the nerds
Who commemorate Hitchcock’s creations.
After I posted a limerick celebrating “Worship Of Tools Day,” a Facebook Friend informed me that March 11th is also National Napping Day. So I must immediately correct this oversight:
Dueling Holidays (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s holiday time on all fronts,
And I’m feeling a bit like a dunce:
Though I recognized Tool Day,
I missed Naps Are Cool Day.
Please don’t nap and use tools all at once.
I’m celebrating National Worship Of Tools Day (March 11th) with this limerick:
Happy Worship Of Tools Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“If only I had the right tool!”
That’s my husband’s pet phrase, as a rule,
Fueled by trying a fix
With his personal mix
Of chewing gum, tape, and some drool.
A few minutes ago, I announced the 104th Limerick of the Week. And that means it’s anniversary time at Mad Kane’s Limerick-Offs.
The Limerick of the Week Awards started as an experiment nearly two years ago in March 2011. Of course, I had been informally posting limerick prompts for years before that. But it was on March 13, 2011 that I decided to get organized and start picking weekly winners. Here’s what I wrote.
But I’m trying something a bit different this time: One of your limericks will be anointed Limerick Of The Week.
As you can see, my experiment took, and next week I’ll be awarding the first Limerick of the Week for Year 3. So congratulations to all of you and thanks so much for helping to make this limerick competition such a success.
Oh … and in case you’re wondering who our first Limerick of the Week Winner was, it was our very own Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith. You can read her clever winning limerick here, along with delightful Honorable Mention limericks from David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Versebender, and co-writers (not to mention married couple) Catherine Palmer and Ron Mardix.
In light of our 2nd Limerick of the Week Anniversary, I’m offering you an alternative: In addition to your regular challenge, you may write a limerick related to any kind of anniversary, using any first line. Next week I’ll present an extra award — one for the best anniversary-related limerick.
And now, getting back to the business at hand, it’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who wanted a raise…*
or
A woman who wanted a raise…*
or
A fellow was catching some rays…*
or
A woman was catching some rays…*
(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Rays
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man had been catching some rays,
Lazing lakeside — he’d done it for days,
While his wife hid inside:
“Sun is bad for your hide,
And besides, wasted time never pays.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Happy National Cereal Day! (March 7th)
Limerick Ode To National Cereal Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Breakfast foods sit atop of the list
Of things that we need to subsist.
So toast “Cereal Day.”
“Not bowled over,” you say?
I milk nonsense. That’s how I exist.
So, is everyone ready for National Pie Day? It’s celebrated every year on January 23rd. Warning: Do NOT confuse it with Pi Day, which is celebrated annually on March 14th.
I actually hate pie. (Now a good chocolate brownie is another story altogether.) But I wouldn’t let my pie-aversion get in the way of a limerick:
Pie-Eyed Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Two holidays often confused
Are Pi Day and Pie Day,” he mused.
“One’s for math-hungry dudes
And dudettes. One’s for foods.
For the former, I need to be boozed.”
In light of Friday’s Connecticut tragedy, I’m offering you an alternative: You may write a limerick related to the shootings, using any first line. Next week I’ll present an extra award — one for the best limerick regarding this tragedy.
And now, getting back to my regular Sunday challenge: It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who always wore blue…*
or
A fellow who always wore blue…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Blue Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who always wore blue
Joined a group where just navy would do
She liked turquoise and teal
And saw aqua’s appeal.
But her militant view? Navy — Ew!
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Update: Dress In Blue Day falls on the first Friday of March.
Brace yourself! I Love My Dentist Day is coming on June 2nd:
Limerick Ode to “I Love My Dentist Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It seems “I Love My Dentist Day’s” here
On June 2, but I simply can’t cheer.
Toothless days like that bite!
I can take no delight
In a guy who spurs fear with his gear.
(You might also enjoy my Dental Deal and my Biting Limerick.)
UPDATE: Happy National Toothache Day! (celebrated yearly on February 9th) And happy Dentists Day! (celebrated yearly on March 6th)
Today (World Poetry Day) a discussion broke out on Facebook about the unreasonable rules poetry magazines often have regarding prior publication. So I couldn’t resist writing this limerick about these virgin-poem policies:
Limerick Ode To Obnoxious Poetry Submission Guidelines
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you hope for the honor and thrill,
To be published by us in our swill,
The work that you write
Must have never seen light.
And remember, don’t send us a bill.
Happy World Poetry Day!
As I mentioned yesterday, the Girl Scouts are celebrating their centennial birthday this week. But that’s just one of many significant occasions this month.
We commemorated International Women’s Day last week. And math fans will be celebrating Pi Day on March 14th. And, of course, just about everyone will be enjoying St. Patrick’s Day on March 17th.
But St. Patrick’s Day has to share its day with a lesser known celebration: On March 17, 1845, Stephen Perry patented the rubber band in England:
Limerick Ode To The Rubber Band
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s no stretch to contend this invention
Prevents loss using rubbery tension.
Those elasticized bands–
Loopy tools in our hands!
This retention aid merits ascension.
It’s hard to believe that the Girl Scouts is one century old. Happy centennial anniversary to the Girl Scouts!
Happy 100th Birthday To The Girl Scouts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I hated the Brownies and Scouting.
They weren’t my thing — there’s no doubting.
But this verse is no jest:
My centennial best
To the Girl Scouts. Today is worth touting.
So far, March has been a big month for celebratory limericks. I’ve already limericked about International Women’s Day, Daylight Savings Time, Pi Day, and St. Patrick’s Day. And now it’s time for a two-verse limerick celebrating World Poetry Day, which falls on March 21st:
Limerick Ode To World Poetry Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
On World Poetry Day write some verse,
Or in poetry reading immerse.
Try a lim’rick, haiku,
Sonnet, ode, clerihew —
Something witty, or languid, or terse.
On World Poetry Day have some fun:
Compose quatrains, blank verse, or haibun.
Double dactyl, sestina —
The poet’s arena
Will even permit you to pun.
UPDATE: I discovered and corrected some serious errors on Wikipedia’s World Poetry Day page (Google’s top entry for the World Poetry Day topic.) The most glaring error was made more than a month ago, on February 15th, by someone who apparently was manipulating Wikipedia on behalf of a UK-based “global grocery and general merchandising retailer” named Tesco. All references to UNESCO, which had declared March 21st to be World Poetry Day, had been changed to TESCO.
I was stunned that nobody was monitoring Wikipedia well enough to catch and correct this error, and that it took me, an infrequent Wikipedia user, to fix it.
So let that be a lesson to people who rely on Wikipedia. While it’s often useful, it’s far from the gospel. And if you find errors there, be a good Internet citizen and fix them.
One more thing — I urge all poets and writers who are at all publicity-minded, to create their own Wikipedia page. Here’s mine.
UPDATE 2: Commenter Tilly Bud inspired me to combine my two limericks, turning them into a two-verse limerick. Thanks, Tilly!
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
