Margarita’s a fave in our house.
If I drink one in bars, though, I’ll grouse;
They are weak and too sweet
And consistently beat
By the great ones prepared by my spouse.
(Happy National Margarita Day, which falls each year on February 22.)
Posts Tagged ‘Liquor Humor’
For Heaven Sakes, Celebrate “Sake Day!” (Oct. 1) (Limerick)
Friday, October 1st, 2021Although I share this woman’s fondness for cold sake, this limerick ISN’T about me. (Happy Sake Day!)
“No wonder our marriage was rocky;
All my ex does is eat and watch hockey.
And the chip on his shoulder
Is big as a boulder…
Plus Milwaukee has lousy cold sake.”
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: WINE or WHINE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: September 12, 2020)
Saturday, August 29th, 2020It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using WINE or WHINE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DRIVING, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DRIVING-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 13, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 12, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my WINE/WHINE-rhyme limerick:
A fellow would often combine
Hard liquor, champagne and red wine,
But he rarely got kicks
From his regular fix…
Though he DID get a box made of pine.
And here’s my DRIVING-themed limerick:
A woman would often lambast
Her husband for driving too fast.
He responded “I drive
Really quick cuz I strive
For an end to the time I’m harassed.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SPILL at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5
Saturday, October 3rd, 2015It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using SPILL at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A chef, upon spotting a spill
From a gin bottle, started to grill
All his washers and cooks,
Asking “Which of you crooks
Made this mess?” But his proof remained nil.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick Ode to National Scotch Day (July 27)
Monday, July 27th, 2015Limerick Ode To National Scotch Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I hate to complain or to carp.
About liquor it’s rare that I harp.
But I’d scotch any notion
Of drinking a potion
Whose wet-carpet smell is so sharp.
A Spirited Weekend (Limerick)
Thursday, June 11th, 2015A Spirited Weekend (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
This weekend, two drinks duke it out:
Gin and bourbon — which one has more clout?
Though “World Gin Day” comes first,
Save a bit of your thirst.
Next is bourbon … but no time for stout.
NOTE: World Gin Day is celebrated on the 2nd Saturday of June. National Bourbon Day, on the other hand, is always celebrated on June 14.
Limerick For National Rum Day
Saturday, August 16th, 2014Happy National Rum Day! (August 16)
Limerick For National Rum Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal called her husband a lout
And threatened to highball it out
If he kept drinking rum.
He at first was struck dumb,
Then obligingly switched up to stout.
Happy World Cocktail Day (May 13th)
Tuesday, May 13th, 2014Limerick Ode To The Cocktail
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We celebrate cocktails in May:
May 13th is “World Cocktail Day.” Yay!
But I hope you won’t laugh
When I say on behalf
Of its worshippers: Why just one day?
(On May 13, 1806, The Balance and Columbian Repository, an upstate New York newspaper, published the first known definition of the word “cock-tail,” as “a stimulating liquor, composed of spirits of any kind, sugar, water and bitters.”)
Another “Food” I Won’t Be Trying (Limerick)
Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013Two back-to-back Italy-inspired limericks! What the heck’s going on with that country?
Another “Food” I Won’t Be Trying (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s something that sounds quite incredible:
A beer you can eat cuz it’s spreadable.
Since I don’t even think
That beer’s tasty to drink,
Beer on ice cream or toast sounds inedible.
(Here’s yesterday’s limerick about those poor Italian husbands who can no longer afford an apartment for their mistresses. And here’s the news story about Italy’s latest culinary concoction: spreadable beer.)
Happy National Rum Day (Limerick)
Friday, August 16th, 2013Happy National Rum Day! (August 16)
Happy National Rum Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man was balled out out by his mum,
Who told him to stop making rum.
“That’s my bus’ness,” he said.
“It’s my butter and bread.”
But he chewed on it. Now he makes gum.
At The Risk Of Dating Myself, This Doesn’t Pass The Smell Test (Limerick)
Thursday, August 15th, 2013I wish I were making this London singles event up, but apparently not:
You like pub crawls? Then here’s some great news
For singles who care about loos
And do not mind their scent:
There’s a singles event—
Toilet dates. I’d prefer just the booze.
Limerick Port (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, December 23rd, 2012It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was sipping some port…*
or
A woman was sipping some port…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Port
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A tall lawyer was sipping some port,
While doing some prep work for court.
He drank more than he should have.
Too bad, cuz he could have
Prevailed, but instead came up short.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick Ode To National Martini Day
Monday, June 18th, 2012Tomorrow, June 19, is National Martini Day. I figured it was best to celebrate with a limerick … before starting on that martini:
Limerick Ode To National Martini Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The martini’s a drink for the tough,
Cuz that cocktail is strong, sometimes rough.
Most favor it gin-filled,
Which leaves me chagrin-filled.
Use tequila instead? Won’t rebuff!
Limerick Ode To National Wine Day (May 25)
Wednesday, May 23rd, 2012Are you all ready to celebrate National Wine Day?
Limerick Ode To National Wine Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s Wine Day on May twenty-five.
Don’t go guzzling your beer in some dive.
Sip a rich cabernet,
Pinot, aligoté,
But mull this: when you drink, do not drive.
(You can find more of my wine and food humor here.)
Ginning Up Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, March 4th, 2012It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s who won last week.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who was partial to gin…*
or
A gal who was partial to gin…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Ginning Up Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who was partial to gin
Played it often and tended to win.
When encouraged to switch
And play poker, he’d bitch:
“Gin is wholesome, but poker’s a sin.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick Ode To National Margarita Day
Tuesday, February 21st, 2012February 22, 2012 is National Margarita Day! (Perversely enough, it’s also World Thinking Day.)
But I’d rather write a limerick about margaritas:
Limerick Ode To National Margarita Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Margarita Day’s here, so Olé!
Send agave tequila my way.
Don’t need worms or a mix
For a spirited fix.
Add some juice, triple sec. Make my day!
Valentine’s Day Limerick and Haiku Too
Tuesday, February 14th, 2012Yet Another Valentine’s Day Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
St. Valentine’s Day can be risky
Cuz the men folk do tend to get frisky.
And watch out for the pious:
They sure like to try us
Before and yes after their whiskey.
*****
St. Valentine’s Day
may be over in theory–
never in spirit.
