Posts Tagged ‘Limericks’

My Adventures with AI Bots Bard and ChatGPT

Wednesday, April 19th, 2023

Yesterday, I had a rather disturbing experience while playing with one of the sundry AI bots. It confirmed a concern I had the minute I started hearing about all those sundry technological “marvels.”

Google’s BARD, recently featured on 60 Minutes, was the one I was experimenting with yesterday. (I’d previously spent a little bit of time with ChatGPT and found (much to my relief) that it was terrible at creating limericks.

Anyway, yesterday I asked BARD to “write a limerick in the style of Edward Lear.” Almost immediately, it responded with an excellent and very famous limerick generally attributed to this fellow: Arthur Henry Reginald Buller.

Here’s the limerick, which many of you are likely to recognize:

“There once was a lady named Bright,
Whose speed was far faster than light;
She set out one day
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.”

(The bot did NOT credit any author.)

I gave this response a negative review and, when asked why, I explained that the limerick was completely plagiarized.

I then asked BARD to write a limerick about Donald Trump, wondering if it would steal another limerick. Instead, it responded “I’m a text-based AI and can’t assist with that.”

Finally, I asked BARD for a limerick about the weather. It churned out three limericks that were lousy, but not nearly as bad as the ones produced by CHATGPT. In both cases, a quick Google search didn’t yield any evidence of theft. On the other hand, if they were stolen, they were stolen from very bad and (hopefully) obscure limerick writers.

UPDATE: A friend suggested I try the same query again, but add the word “original.” So just now I posted this request to BARD: “Write an original limerick in the style of Edward Lear.” Alas, it churned out the same famous limerick that it “wrote” yesterday. So not only did the word “original” make no difference, but the bot failed to learn from yesterday’s negative comment.

A Tempting Limerick

Thursday, September 5th, 2019

I’m pleased to have gotten an Honorable Mention in the Washington Post Style Invitational’s 16th annual Limerixicon limerick contest: Here’s my HM-earning limerick:

If you’re tempted to kiss or embrace
A stranger whose beauty and grace
Make her hard to resist,
Don’t do it! Her fist
Just might land in a delicate place.

Limerick Grinds

Friday, September 7th, 2018

Kindly don’t cast aspersions on minds
That labor as limerick grinds,
Battling rhymers for glory
With puns sometimes hoary,
Competing while on their behinds.

Fitting A Limerick On Twitter Ain’t Easy!

Sunday, April 9th, 2017

Oy! The contortions I had to go through to fit a meta-limerick about NPR’s poetry-tweet contest into a tweet!

I HATE the 140-character (including hashtag) limit! GRRR!

This limerick looked perfectly normal before I was forced to alter it to fit into a tweet: (It even had proper punctuation, spelling, and spacing.)

I’ve poetry news:Tweet ur verse
4 NPR glory;No purse
So dont curse.Just compoz
Ur poems,not proz
&remember that TwitterMeansTERSE

#NPRPoetry

Some News Items Cry Out For A Limerick

Tuesday, December 1st, 2015

A Limerick barn has been wrecked
By a drunk-driving woman, unchecked.
With no qualms about stealing
The truck she was wheeling,
She ought to be (rhymers say) decked.

(Inspired by this news story: “Woman injured when stolen Angry Orchard truck crashes into Limerick barn.”)

Limerick Time

Wednesday, January 21st, 2015

Limerick Time
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Don’t be TIM-id. Give LIM-‘ricks a TRY.
There is NO need to FEAR them. Here’s WHY:
Simply CO-py my ME-ter.
(You WON’T be a CHEA-ter.)
Let A, a, b, B, a-rhyme FLY.

*****

Here’s my how to write limericks article.

View my Limerick Time limerick image here.

Tweet Marvels (Limerick)

Friday, December 19th, 2014

Tweet Marvels (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I marvel @ poets who fit
A lim’rick on tweets. It takes grit
& patience & toil
2 manage 2 boil
Lim’ricks down so u read what I’ve writ.

Note: The 140 character per tweet limit on Twitter is a tough taskmaster; It was all I could do to fit the five lines in a tweet, even after changing “@” to “at,” “and” to “&,” “to” to “2,” and “you” to “u.”

And even then, there was no room for my title, byline, post URL, or this hashtagged indication of what prompt inspired me: #5prompt (marvel.)

Virtual Blog Tour: Welcome To My Mad World

Friday, July 25th, 2014

A wonderful poet, Daniel Ari, honored me with his invitation to participate in the Virtual Blog Tour. And if you’re not familiar with Daniel’s poetry, you owe it to yourself to pay his blog and his blog tour post a visit. Actually … many visits.

Wait. Where are you going? I didn’t mean for you to visit him right this very minute. You have to at least pretend to read my post first.

Okay, now that I’ve recaptured your attention, I should probably explain the concept behind the Virtual Blog Tour. As best as I can figure out, it’s a method of introducing our readers to other bloggers we admire. Every participant answers the same quartet of questions about his/her writing process. And, in theory at least, we all gain some new readers.

So, on to Question 1: What am I working on?

In theory, I’m pulling together three different humor books: a limerick collection, a humor column collection, and a third book that’s so hard to describe, it’s unlikely to ever happen.

Aside from my books-in-progress, I write tons of limericks every week. Okay, maybe not tons, but A LOT! I also write light verse in other forms, even sneaking humor into haiku. (Of course when I write funny haiku, I get yelled at for not calling them senryu.)

Additionally, I spend a good chunk of time running a weekly limerick contest: Mad Kane’s Limerick-Offs. You can always find the current contest here and the most recent winners here. (Everyone’s welcome to participate both here on my blog and on my Facebook page.)

Question 2: How does my work differ from others of its genre?

Well, for one thing, it’s written by an oboist turned lawyer turned humor writer. And for another, I stretch the boundaries of limericks by writing them about every topic imaginable: marriage, politics, taxes, death, petty aggravations, serious problems, etc., in a tone which varies from bawdy to satirical to serious, to silly — frequently writing multi-verse limericks. And if I want to be extra hard on myself, I sometimes even attempt acrostic limericks.

By the way, although I post most of my limericks on this blog, I have a second blog reserved for political limericks. Why a separate Political Madness Blog? Because many readers who enjoy this blog, hate my politics. Separate blogs help limit the bloodshed.

Question 3: Why do I write what I do?

Like most writers, I write what I write because I have to. There was a period when I had to write humor columns. Next there was a period when I had to write a satirical George W. Bush diary and political song parodies. And right now I seem to be in my have-to-write-limericks period.

(There was also a 14 year period when I had to write legal briefs. But trust me, you don’t want to hear about that.)

Question 4: How does my writing process work?

I’m always writing limericks — often at inconvenient times, like while showering … or sleeping. Unfortunately I have an awful memory, and can’t trust myself to remember anything. So jotting down ideas immediately is key. Deciphering those notes? Another matter altogether.

While much of my limerick inspiration seems to arrive out of the blue, I’m always actively on the hunt for limerick ideas. I make a point of doing lots of daily news reading, headline scanning, and visiting “what’s trending now” on Twitter, Facebook, and sundry search engines.

I read several political sites a day in my quest for politicians to mock and political issues to have fun with. I also check out several sites specializing in oddball news items, as well as Salon, Slate, Huffington Post, and other possible sources of quirky news items that might inspire me. (Dave Barry’s blog is an unusually good source of such items.)

Limerick inspiration often comes from stories about silly lawsuits, oddball inventions, strange holidays, and weird trends.

Family members, especially my husband Mark, can be a constant source of humor inspiration. (Fortunately Mark enjoys being the subject of limericks and humor columns.)

If I’m really lucky, a limerick just comes to me whole cloth. When that happens, it’s just a matter of writing it down and doing a quick edit. But other limericks present more of a challenge, especially when it comes to news-oriented and political limericks, where I have to pack a lot of info into the limerick and still follow the rules and make readers laugh. (Speaking of rules, you can find my article on how to write limericks here.)

I often start with a single line — either the first line or the last. And in framing that line I usually try to end it with a word that has lots of rhymes. After all, the more rhyme word choices I have, the better the odds of my managing to polish off an amusing limerick.

What happens when I can’t make a limerick work? I add it to an ever-growing digital document jam-packed with hundreds of limericks (and partial limericks) I can’t bear to give up on. And often, months later, I manage to rescue some of them. On the other hand, many have been languishing in that file for years, taunting me to fix or delete the damn things.

I should probably mention some tools I find handy: Rhymezone, while far from perfect, can be very useful. The Syllable Dictionary is helpful as well. And then there’s the wonderful Memidex Dictionary which, among other things, has an excellent audio component. I can’t imagine how I ever survived without it.

*****

So that’s it for my answers to the Virtual Blog Tour questions. At this point, I’m supposed to recommend three other poet bloggers who promise to answer the same four questions. But alas, everyone I invited (1) had already participated in this tour; (2) didn’t feel they had the time to commit to the tour; or (3) didn’t feel they could persuade three other poet bloggers to participate.

However, if you’re still hungering to be introduced to other limerick writers, please do check out my weekly Limerick of the Week Posts. While, most of the weekly winners don’t blog, they’re a funny group of limerick writers you’re sure to enjoy.

Looped (Limerick Using the “Loop” Form)

Friday, July 6th, 2012

This week Poetic Bloomings introduces us to a new (to me) form: the “loop.” While the form has several variations, the essential requirement is:

In each stanza, the last word of the first line becomes the first word of line two. The last word of line 2 becomes the first word of line 3. The last word of line 3 becomes the first word of line 4.

While limericks aren’t mentioned as an option, I decided to try a “limerick loop.” Here’s what happened:

Looped (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This poetry form leaves me looped.
Looped’s the least of my problems. I’m pooped:
Pooped at trying to write.
Writing’s often a fight.
Fight I must, or with slackers be grouped.

Limerick Ode To My Limerick-Off Friends

Saturday, January 1st, 2011

This limerick is for all of my limerick and light-verse-loving friends who’ve participated in my Limerick-Offs here and on Facebook. I thank you all for your delightful verse. Without your contributions to my Limerick-Offs, they wouldn’t be nearly so much fun. I hope you’ve enjoyed them as much as I have. And I look forward to sharing more limericks with all of you in the coming year!

Limerick Ode To My Limerick-Off Friends
By Madeleine Begun Kane

To my Lim’rick-Off pals a big cheer!
It has sure been a versified year.
You have shared clever ditties
From so many cities
And towns. So I toast you. Hear! Hear!

My Advice To Spammers (Limerick)

Thursday, June 25th, 2009

My Advice To Spammers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear spammers, I wish you’d take heed.
A spell-check is something you need.
Though I’m surely no Freud,
You should really avoid
Sending “greeting” cards spelled more like “greed.”

Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.

Empty Nest (Limerick)

Thursday, June 18th, 2009

Empty Nest (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman was feeling depressed.
(Her syndrome is called “empty nest.”)
Her home was too calm.
She missed being a mom—
Though her spouse “helped” by being a pest.

Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.

Clerk Antics

Friday, June 12th, 2009

Clerk Antics
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a government clerk
Who tended to act like a jerk.
When someone asked why,
He’d often reply:
“It’s a wonderful perk of my work.”

Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.

Luddite Limerick

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

Luddite Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A hard-working author named Fink
Insisted on writing with ink.
He hated computers
And called them polluters.
Some claim he’s our long Missing Link.

By the way, in addition to being a recovering lawyer, I’m a recovering luddite and recovering technophobe.  In fact,  the first anthology my essays ever appeared in was Minutes of the Lead Pencil Club: Second Thoughts on the Electronic Revolution.

(Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.)

Dim-Witted Driver (Updated)

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

Dim-Witted Driver (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A dim-witted driver named Ed
Often finds that his battery’s dead.
He’s forgetful most nights
And he leaves on the lights.
That’s why Edward is no longer wed.

As always, please feel free to write your own limerick, using the same first line, and post it in my comments and/or on my Facebook post.

Note: My husband Mark is a frequent source of dead battery-inspired humor, including these two humor columns: Tow Guy Blues and False Alarm. Thus far, however, we remain married. In fact tomorrow’s our 31st wedding anniversary.

UPDATE: Happy National Battery Day (celebrated yearly on February 18th, in honor of physicist Alessandro Volta’s birthday.)

UPDATE 2: Check Your Batteries Day falls on the second Sunday in March.

Battle of the Search Engines

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

I couldn’t let the launch of  Google-challenger Bing pass without a limerick:

Battle of the Search Engines
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A search engine yearns to be king.
Its name, for some reason, is Bing.
It’s Microsoft’s baby.
Hurt Google? Well, maybe.
Their quest? Lots of ad business bling.

Fun With Three Word Wednesday

Wednesday, October 17th, 2007

I’ve decided to join in on the fun over at this week’s 3 Word Wednesday. Here’s how it works:

Welcome to Three Word Wednesday. Each week, I will post three (or more) words. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write something using all of those words. It can be a few lines, a story, a poem, anything.

This week’s three words are Field, Hide, and Second.  They inspired me to write both a limerick and a haiku.  Here’s my limerick:

Bridling At A Question
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

At his question, I’m fit to be tied
Cuz it comes from left field.  I must hide!
He can see I might flee.
“Just a second,” says he.
“I am begging you. Please be my bride!”

And here’s my haiku:

Though I want to hide,
If only for a second,
I field her question.

Last week’s words were Initial, Knock, and Weather, for which I wrote this serious haiku:

How do they weather
that initial door knock with
news: “Your loved one’s dead.”