Posts Tagged ‘Law Humor’
Sunday, April 24th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus three Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who loved a good fight…
or
A fellow who loved a good fight…
Here’s mine:
Argumentative Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who loved a good fight
Would argue from morning till night.
She did it for sport
And she did it in court
Where her favorite word was “indict.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Arguments, Courthouse Humor, Crime, Law Humor, Legal Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 84 Comments »
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011
Each year our calendars are jam-packed with weird, oddball holidays created, presumably, by equally weird people. Since I’m just as odd as the next person, I figure I’m entitled to invent one too … assuming I can come up with something strange that isn’t already taken.
Anyway, while scrolling through several calendars specializing in bizarre holidays, I noticed a startling omission. Apparently, nobody’s thought to invent All My Gizmos Are Working Day. That is, until now.
So with the powers vested in me as a member in good standing of the New York State Bar, I hereby declare March 2, 2011 to be the first annual All My Gizmos Are Working Day.
As you might expect, I’m commemorating this spanking new holiday with a limerick. But before I get to my verse, let me first acknowledge that most people won’t be able to really celebrate All My Gizmos Are Working Day on March 2nd. In fact, there’s a good chance I won’t be able to enjoy it either.
Why not? Because I can’t remember the last time that I didn’t have at least one broken gadget — a kitchen appliance, TV, DVD player, stereo, land line, cell phone, computer, e-book reader, MP3 player, etc. At least one electronic thingamajig is always misbehaving.
But hope springs eternal, right? So here’s my celebratory limerick:
Limerick Ode To All My Gizmos Are Working Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
All My Gizmos Are Working Day’s here.
March 2nd’s that day of good cheer.
If, alas, you’re disgusted
Cuz something is busted,
Try again on March 2nd next year.
(Inspired by Big Tent’s anti-holiday prompt.)
UPDATE: I’ve learned that March 26th is Make up your own Holiday Day.
Tags: All My Gizmos Are Working Day, Broken Gadgets Verse, Calendar Humor, Computer Verse, Gadget Humor, Gizmos, Holiday Satire, Law Humor, Limerick, Make Up Your Own Holiday Day, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, Technology Limerick, Weird Celebrations
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Computer Humor, Holiday Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Social Satire, Technology Humor, Weird News Snark | 22 Comments »
Monday, September 20th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who owned only one suit…
Here’s mine. (It’s a six-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Suitable Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who owned only one suit
Could afford many more with his loot.
But he hated to wear’em
And just could not bear’em,
Which led to a workplace dispute.
The co that he worked for was sold.
“The new owner likes suits,” he was told.
“That’s too bad,” he replied.
“I just can not abide
Dressing up and I won’t be controlled.”
“Read my memo — now suits are a must,”
He was warned. “You must look upper crust.”
He replied, “Won’t comply!”
“Then I bid you goodbye,”
Said the buyer, with scorn and disgust.
“But wait, there’s a suit that I like,”
He responded. “I won’t take a hike.
It’s a suit of this sort:
I shall take you to court.
Watch your legal bills mount up and spike.”
The new owner refused to back down.
He assumed that the guy was a clown
Who never would sue.
That assumption, he’d rue.
He soon learned that this “clown” owned the town.
Yes, he worked just for fun — that’s the hitch.
He missed working — it gave him an itch.
So he did file that suit
And won even more loot.
Then he bought out the co. Ain’t that rich?
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
And if you’d like to receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting Limerick-Off first line alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Tags: Bosses, Career Poem, Clothing Poem, Law Humor, Lawsuit Humor, Litigation Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Wealth, Workplace & Career Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Business Humor, Fashion Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace & Career Humor | 25 Comments »
Tuesday, January 12th, 2010
A limerick in honor of Conan O’Brien’s Solomon-like decision about the Tonight Show — not to “seriously damage what [he considers] to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting,” (I wrote it both as a fan and as a recovering lawyer.)
Go, Conan!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Conan, I’m glad you refused.
By your Network, you’ve sure been abused.
You’re right to be teed.
You’re a class act, indeed.
NBC’s breach can not be excused.
Update: I haven’t seen Conan’s contract. But here’s NBC’s argument, as I understand it: NBC can legally air The Tonight Show with Conan at 12:05 a.m. after a new half-hour Leno show, because O’Brien’s contract doesn’t specify a time. I don’t buy it.
Following NBC’s argument to its logical conclusion, NBC could air The Tonight Show at 4:00 a.m., or even at noon. In fact, by NBC’s reasoning, Conan could have stayed at his old 12:35 a.m. slot and Jay could have kept his original 11:35 p.m. Tonight Show slot. All NBC would have had to do would be to change the names of the shows: Conan’s to the Tonight Show, and Jay’s to the Jay Leno Show. Sorry, NBC, this doesn’t pass the straight-faced test.
One more point: Rumor has it that Jay’s contract specifies a 10 p.m. time, and that (the argument goes) this weakens Conan’s position. I disagree. Conan O’Brien was being promoted to a show that already existed in a specific time slot, whereas Jay’s show was being created from scratch. So they are not analogous situations.
Update 2: Is this a slam dunk for Conan? No. But as a “recovering lawyer” who litigated my share of contract disputes, I’d rather take Conan’s case to a jury.
Tags: Conan O'Brien, Jay Leno, Late Night TV, Law Humor, Media, NBC, Team CoCo, Team Conan, Television Humor, Tonight Show
Posted in Business Humor, Celebrity Humor, Conan O'Brien Verse, Entertainment Humor, Jay Leno Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Media Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, September 1st, 2009
I usually post my multitasking humor here. However, since my latest multitasking limerick (Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Texting?) has some political overtones, I’ve posted it in my political humor blog instead.
Tags: Cars, Driving, Law Humor, Technology, Text Message Humor
Posted in Car & Driving Humor, Computer Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Technology Humor | Comments Off on Either Drive, Or Text, Okay? (Limerick)
Wednesday, December 5th, 2007
Ms. Legal Person returns by popular demand with advice for the holiday season. “Your free help was worth every penny,” wrote one satisfied reader. “Do you have malpractice insurance?” wrote … oops, wrong letter.
Okay, enough with the accolades and on with your questions:
Q: They hung mistletoe in my office, and I’m highly offended.
A: Why?
Q: It’s sexual harassment.
A: I see. Has anyone ever kissed you while you were standing under the mistletoe?
Q: No.
A: What about when you weren’t standing under the mistletoe.
Q. Certainly not.
A: That’s what I thought.
*****
Q: My birthday falls right before Christmas and I always get short-changed. Do I have any legal recourse?
A: You suffer from Badly Timed Birthday Syndrome. Fortunately, last year’s Anti-Discrimination and Mental Health Care Reform Bill included the Birthday Rehabilitation Act. It allows you to petition any federal judge to modify your birthday by no more than 30 days.
Q: That’s great news!
A: You need only prove that your birthday coincides with a key holiday, causing pain and suffering and depriving you of your fair share of attention and gifts.
Q: Wow! Can I also modify my birth year?
A: How old are you?
Q: 37.
A: I’m afraid not. But you’re free to lie like everyone else.
*****
Ms. Legal Person answers more of your holiday questions here.
(You can find more holiday humor here.)
Tags: Christmas Humor, December Holidays, Holiday Fun, Law Humor
Posted in Holiday Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Seasons Humor | 1 Comment »
Saturday, September 1st, 2007
As a result of a neighbor’s lawsuit, a Swedish woman can no longer smoke in most of her garden. (And you thought the United States was a litigious country.)
Stockholm – A Swedish woman has been banned by court order from smoking in large parts of her own garden following a complaint from a neighbour…
… The neighbour, a lawyer, filed the complaint with the court in Vaxjo, in southern Sweden, saying he was obliged to wear a mask in his garden when the neighbour lit up.
Weeding Out Crazy Lawsuits (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A cig-hating fellow from Sweden
Sued a gal cause she smoked during weedin’.
Now smoking’s been banned
On much of her land.
What’s next? Litigation o’er readin’?
Tags: Cigarettes, Law Humor, Lawsuit Humor, Lawyers, Litigation Humor, Litigious Society, Neighborly Humor, Neighbors Humor, Smoke-free Satire, Smoking Bans, Smoking Humor, Sweden, Swedish
Posted in Gardens / Plant Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Neighbors Humor, Outdoors Humor, Smell Humor, Smoking Humor, Social Satire | Comments Off on Weeding Out Crazy Lawsuits (Outdoor Smoking Ban Limerick)
Monday, April 30th, 2007
Bill Collection Time (A Legal Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The judge viewed your case with derision,
So he rendered an adverse decision.
But when paying my bill,
Do not bear me ill will,
‘Cause I saved you from going to prison.
UPDATE: Don’t forget to enter my Mother’s Day limerick writing contest. The deadline is May 12, 2007 and there are money prizes for the best two limericks.
Tags: Accounts Payable Humor, Bills, Courthouse Humor, Criminals, Judge Humor, Law Humor, Legal Satire, Money & Finance Humor, Prison Humor
Posted in Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor | 4 Comments »
Friday, March 23rd, 2007
Boot-Licked
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My new laptop refuses to boot,
So I’m thinking of filing a suit.
Plug and play this sure ain’t.
If it started, I’d faint.
Lots of loot for this trash don’t compute.
Tags: Boot Failure, Computer Satire, Laptop Humor, Law Humor, Money Limerick, Plug And Play, Technology Satire
Posted in Computer Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Technology Humor | 5 Comments »
Monday, February 5th, 2007
Edu-Gaffe
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Being accurate’s highly essential.
This is math, not some course existential.”
We enjoyed a brief laugh
At the lecturer’s gaffe,
For our subject was jurisprudential.
Tags: Education Satire, Existential, Gaffe, Jurisprudence Humor, Law Humor, Lecturers, Math Humor, Philosophy Humor
Posted in Education & School Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Saturday, February 3rd, 2007
Deep Pockets/Pricey Dockets
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you’re broke, it ain’t smart to defame
An affluent fellow’s good name.
With his pockets so deep,
Your defense won’t be cheap.
No, the law ain’t a poor person’s game.
(My legal humor is collected here.)
Tags: Attorney Humor, Defamation Humor, Law Humor, Lawyer Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Libel Humor, Litigation Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Slander Humor
Posted in Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor | Comments Off on Deep Pockets/Pricey Dockets
Monday, December 11th, 2006
What A Card!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I haven’t been carded in years,
But the last time it brought me to tears.
I was laughing, I mean:
To be seen as a teen
By a fellow whose folks were my peers.
Tags: Age Requirement, Aging Humor & Verse, Aging Limerick, Appearance Humor, Bars, Carding, Drinking Limerick, Law Humor, Liquor Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Seniors Poetry | 6 Comments »
Tuesday, December 5th, 2006
Where’s The Beef?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A butcher once had quite a beef.
His grievance? A meat-stealing thief,
A man who, when caught,
Claimed the beef had been bought.
‘Twas a story that beggared belief.
Tags: Beef, Butcher, Criminals, Food Verse, Law Humor, Meat, Theft
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Business Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor | 1 Comment »
Friday, August 25th, 2006
Do you and your spouse argue about how to spend your spare time? Togetherness can be tough to achieve when a couple’s interests just don’t jibe. But this contract may be just the cure for your spare time blues.
AGREEMENT entered into on _____, 20__ between opera-buff Wife and sports-fan Husband.
WHEREAS, Husband has been badgering Wife to attend a ball game for as long as they’ve been married, and he has never managed to reach first base;
WHEREAS, Wife has been pressuring Husband to go to the opera for years, and Husband is running out of excuses; and
WHEREAS, Husband and Wife know that if they don’t resolve this soon, each will be attending all functions solo.
NOW, THEREFORE, the parties hereby agree to the following spare time terms:
1. Wife will attend one ball-type game, the selection of which shall be in Husband’s sole discretion, and Husband will attend one opera performance, the selection of which shall be in Wife’s sole discretion. In exercising such discretion, both spouses will keep in mind that divorce lawyers are really expensive … (Sparring Over Spare Time is continued here.)
Tags: Ball Games, Funny Contracts, Husband Humor, Law Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Opera Humor, Spare Time, Wife Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Marriage Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Recreation & Fun Humor, Relationship Humor, Satirical Contracts, Sports Humor, Time Humor | Comments Off on Sparring Over Spare Time
Wednesday, August 9th, 2006
You have to dot those i’s.
You’ve got to cross those t’s.
You have to seem so wise.
You must justify those fees.
And if you’re smart and lucky
You will turn your case around.
That’s what the law’s about.
You have to file those claims.
You’ve got to sue those stiffs.
You have to shift the blame,
With no ands or buts or ifs. …
(That’s What The Law’s About is continued here.)
Tags: Attorney Humor, Litigation Humor, Law Humor, Law Office Humor, Lawyer Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Litigation Humor, Song Parodies
Posted in Business Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Social Satire, Spoof Lyrics | Comments Off on That’s What The Law’s About (Sing to the Hokey Pokey)
