Said the coach to the batter, “The fray
That you started ain’t going away:
Remember the gurneys?
Those ‘fans’ got attorneys
Who’ve sued us for batt’ry today.”
Posts Tagged ‘Law Humor’
The Fray (Limerick)
Saturday, May 18th, 2024A Hairy Tale (Limerick)
Friday, April 19th, 2024I went gray at a premature age,
But embraced it and hoped to look sage.
For a lawyer sans penis
Back then? Mars v. Venus!
Young, female, and short — NOT the rage!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: JUST or UNJUST or ADJUST at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: April 29, 2023)
Saturday, April 1st, 2023It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using JUST or UNJUST or ADJUST at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to COURTS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best COURT-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
PLANT, HOBBIES, LEARN, LIKEABLE, WARN.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 30, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 29, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my JUST or UNJUST or ADJUST-Rhyme Limerick:
“Adulting” requires hard work;
The mundane kind we’re tempted to shirk.
But do it, we must!
So I try to adjust
And pretend I don’t feel like a clerk.
And here’s my COURT-Themed Limerick, a 2-Verser:
A big gun at a law firm brought suit.
He was gunning for those who pollute.
But his target, alas,
Had a limitless mass
Of moolah to fight the dispute.That’s not all that his target possessed;
It had friends in the courts and was blessed
With political cronies,
Republican phonies
Who impeded his actions with zest.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
I should take up some hobby this week
To ensure my brain works at its peak.
Learning Greek is too hard!
Planting chard in my yard?
No, my marred mind needs more than a tweak.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
A Cooked Up Complaint? (Limerick)
Thursday, February 9th, 2023A lawyer whose molar was aching
Lambasted a bakery’s baking:
Said his tooth had been marred
By a dangerous shard—
A shakedown, methinks, in the making.
(National Toothache Day falls on February 9.)
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BLUE or BLEW at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 7, 2023)
Saturday, December 10th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BLUE or BLEW at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to RELIGION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best RELIGION-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: NAME, NAUSEOUS, PROFIT, TEASE, SILVER.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on January 8, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 7, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BLUE or BLEW-Rhyme Limerick:
A litigious old fellow was blue.
His friends (he had only a few)
Asked “Why the bad mood?”
The response from that dude
Was “I’ve run out of people to sue!”
And here’s my RELIGION-Themed Limerick:
A man of the cloth would not share
His frank with his date at the fair.
“That’s unfair,” she cried out.
“I gave you my kraut.
So canoodle tonight? Not a prayer!”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
There is someone I could (but won’t) name
Who makes me feel nauseous. My aim
Isn’t testing or teasing;
He’s just so displeasing,
I’d rather not add to his fame.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: MIND or MINED or REMIND at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: October 15, 2022)
Saturday, September 17th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using MIND or MINED or REMIND at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BANKS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BANK-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: YAWN, CLAIM, SPORTS, LAZY, FEARLESS
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on October 16, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 15, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my MIND or MINED or REMIND-Rhyme Limerick:
A fellow was asked to help mind
A young dog by a gal in a bind.
But he said, “I’m tied up
And can’t help with that pup.”
The response she unleashed wasn’t kind.
And here’s my BANK-Themed Limerick:
A foolish young fellow named Frank
Had a low-level job in a bank.
When a gal asked for francs,
He informed her, “The ranks
Of this bank have just one, plus a Hank.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
When the judge caught me yawning in court,
He accused me of being the sort
Of gal “who became
An Esq., just to claim
A husband, or simply for sport.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DEEDS or MISDEEDS) at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: May 14, 2022)
Saturday, April 30th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DEEDS or MISDEEDS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to INVENTIONS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best INVENTION-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 15, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 14, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DEEDS or MISDEEDS-rhyme limerick:
A bomber (uncaught) is aghast:
He’d been certain his freedom would last.
But some fresh cold-case leads
To his evil misdeeds
Mean a trial for a blast from the past.
And here’s my INVENTIONS-themed limerick:
When informed his design was unsound,
An inventor’s distress was profound:
“The unfairness is blatant!
Their bias is patent!
My grinder has broken new ground!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick Ode To “Love Your Lawyer Day” (1st Friday of November)
Friday, November 5th, 2021A lawyer was cooling his heels,
Awaiting the Court of Appeals.
A ruling was due
Any day — one he’d rue:
Soon in prison he’ll take all his meals.
Happy “Love Your Lawyer Day!
Irksome Lingo (Limerick)
Tuesday, September 7th, 2021Hereinafter, herein, and hereof;
Fancy words used in law — hard to love.
Hence I try not to use them,
I never abuse them,
And hereby ban hereinabove.
A Dog Of A Claim (Limerick)
Wednesday, September 1st, 2021A man whose deep pockets are boundless
Is hounded by lawsuits, most groundless.
Take the latest; a claim
About dog-bites, whose aim
Is big bucks, but the “dog owner’s” hound-less.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: MEAN or MIEN or DEMEAN at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: February 27, 2021)
Saturday, February 13th, 2021It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using MEAN or MIEN or DEMEAN at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to WEED(s), using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best -related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on February 28, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 27, 2021, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my Mean/Mien/Demean-rhyme limerick:
A man who had long gone to seed,
Once was hunky and handsome, indeed.
But no more; he is mean,
Vain, and even obscene,
And his visage now mirrors his greed.
And here’s my Weed(s)-themed limerick:
I’m irate and upset: I’ve been sued
By a cranky, litigious old dude,
Who claims that my weeds
Wrecked his lawn with their seeds.
He’s a lawyer, which means that I’m screwed.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BARD, BARRED, DISBARRED, or BOMBARD at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: December 5, 2020)
Saturday, November 21st, 2020It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BARD, BARRED, DISBARRED, or BOMBARD at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to LITIGATION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best LITIGATION-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 6, 2020 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 5, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BARD, BARRED, DISBARRED, or BOMBARD-rhyme limerick:
Don’t make me eat chard that’s been charred.
Even non-charred, I find it quite hard
To eat and digest.
At my tastebuds’ behest,
Be on guard against chard. It’s been barred.
And here’s my LITIGATION-themed limerick:
The litigants reached an accord;
One that none of the parties adored.
“That’s as it should be,”
Said the judge. “I decree
This case closed. None too soon! I was bored.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Yet Another Pandemic Challenge (Limerick)
Wednesday, April 1st, 2020The pandemic is causing a strain
On emotional health. What a bane!
We feel trapped! Tempers flare!
Can’t escape! I need air!
(Hey divorce lawyers, look for a gain.)
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: PALE or PAIL or IMPALE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5
Saturday, January 9th, 2016It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using PALE or PAIL or IMPALE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write a themed limerick related to DOGS and/or CATS, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best dog and/or cat-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on January 24th, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 23, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A maritime lawyer from Yale
Feels his int’rest in law start to pale.
He’s filled with regret,
For he’s drowning in debt–
So at sea in his field, he can’t bail.
Please feel free to write your own limerick(s) using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick Ode To Gay Marriage
Saturday, June 27th, 2015Limerick Ode To Gay Marriage
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Ev’ry marriage has good and has bad.
It brings joy, but can drive you quite mad.
I’m so glad gays are free
Via legal decree
To wed — Just don’t marry in plaid.
A Bugged Plaintiff (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 17th, 2015A Bugged Plaintiff (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Madame Blanche filed a claim with the court,
A complaint for intentional tort:
“As plainly depicted
Distress was inflicted–
My old spouse should by now be quite mort.”
Redundant Limerick
Sunday, May 3rd, 2015Redundant Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I avow and aver and declare
And affirm and attest and I swear:
The redundancy flaw
From practicing law
Ain’t impairing my lim’ricks. So there!
Limerick Flaw
Wednesday, April 1st, 2015My life has a terrible flaw;
I’m adrift and off course — in a yaw.
I’ve concluded that humor’s
No job for this boomer.
It’s time to return to the law.
Happy April Fools’ Day!
