Posts Tagged ‘Kirk Miller’

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Limerick of the Week (136)

Sunday, October 20th, 2013

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A gander was taking a peek
At a goose with a bright orange beak:
“I’m a regular chap
Who won’t easily flap,
But her waddle is making me weak.”

Congratulations to Ira Bloom and Diane Groothuis, who are tied in winning this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for their respective limericks, which received the most Facebook “likes.”

Ira Bloom:

A fellow was sneaking a peek,
At a gal with an awesome physique.
Such a treat for the eyes!
Perfect breasts! Perfect thighs!
It’s too bad that his prospects were bleak.

Diane Groothuis:

Cinderella was taking a peek
At Prince Charming, so handsome and sleek,
And later that night
When she rushed home in fright,
He brought her a shoe from Lalique.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Robert Schechter, Craig Dykstra, Tim James, Kevin Ahern, Phyllis LaVietes, Chris Doyle, Robert Basler, and Kirk Miller. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Robert Schechter:

I covered my eyes, did not peek,
When the two of us played hide and seek,
And you hid really well.
The way I can tell?
You’ve been gone now for more than a week.

Craig Dykstra:

He had wanted to get just a peek,
At her cleavage so tan, soft and sleek.
But his fingers had flown
With a mind of their own–
Now his cast won’t come off ’til next week.

Tim James:

A gal at her physical peak
Can make love twenty times in a week.
In my youth that was nifty,
But now that I’m fifty
Be careful. You’ll break this antique.

Kevin Ahern:

My mother developed a pique
At the mouse in our house’s physique.
The thing that inflames
Her most are its games;
It likes to play hide and go squeak.

Phyllis LaVietes:

A woman was sneaking a peek
At the limerick theme for next week.
She said, “I will show ‘em,
I’m writing a poem,
For the prize won’t be won by the meek!”

Chris Doyle:

At a ball in Dushanbe, I peek
At the gentlemen’s fox trot technique,
Then fall flat on my ass
When a comely young lass
Makes a pass as we dance cheek Tajik.

Robert Basler:

A fellow was climbing a peak.
To get to the top took a week.
He said, with a frown
“It is much quicker down.
“I just untie this knot, then I — eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!”

Kirk Miller:

He would count to one hundred, not peek.
Dr. Jekyll was rather unique.
Somewhere deep in his mind,
Alter ego he’d find
When the doctor would play Hyde and seek.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 2 Comments »

Limerick of the Week (129)

Sunday, September 1st, 2013

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Kirk Miller, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

After punning, I’m left all alone
‘Cause I make people grimace and moan.
If you think they’re bad now,
Then imagine just how
Bad they’ll be when my puns are full groan.

Congratulations to Kevin Ahern, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

Geology students alone
At exams will collectively groan:
The grading is picky
And questions are tricky
Cuz answers are written in stone.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Cyn, Craig Dykstra, Tim James, Fred Bortz, Tom Hale, Bob Dvorak, and Will T. Laughlin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Cyn:

I tend to think better alone
And prefer to solve things on my own.
Even so, one can dream
Of how easy it’d seem,
If I were as smart as my phone.

Craig Dykstra:

“So when can I get you alone?”
Said her butcher, who called on the phone.
Seems he misunderstood
When she asked if he could,
With her meat order, give her a bone.

Tim James:

A guy should have taken a loan
Ere he took out a girl on his own.
His full bill for their date
Was a buck ninety-eight.
But he *did* let her choose cup or cone.

Fred Bortz:

The bagpiper marches alone.
What he wears neath his kilt is unknown.
But it kinnae be borin’:
When watchin’ his sporran,
It rises and falls with his drone.

Tom Hale:

The Queen bellowed, “Leave me alone!
First, bring me my pipe of homegrown!”
The Page said, “I can’t,
Your Highness, I shan’t
Condone a stoned crone on a throne!”

Bob Dvorak:

A woman who needed a loan
Asked a banker to throw her a bone.
“My cred’s in the tank,
But there’s cash in your bank.
In exchange, I can foment a moan.”

Will T. Laughlin:

To a brothel he goes, all alone,
In the city’s most dangerous zone;
He’s disguised as a john
For a story he’s on,
But he’s hoping his cover gets blown.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 4 Comments »

Limerick of the Week (127)

Sunday, August 18th, 2013

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Craig Dykstra, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

When asked why he dated a pair,
The bowler said “Don’t be a square:
My sex drive’s too much
For one girl so, as such,
I will frequently pick up a spare.”

Congratulations to Jamie Hutchinson, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

When my eagle-eyed kid spied a pair
Of “bunny” ears high in the air,
I commended her keenness
But doubted the genus:
“It’s Chicago —- that must be a hare.”

Congratulations to Mark Kane, Sue Dulley, and Steve Whitred, who jointly win a special Limerick Repartee Award for this limerick exchange:

Mark Kane:

A Bartlett and Bosc, what a pair
Of pears for your pie, if you dare?
Or instead, bake a tart.
Enter both if you’re smart,
As your fare for this year’s country fair.

Sue Dulley:

If you’re baking a pie using pear
To compete in your county Fall Fair,
Bake another to eat
Just to check that it’s sweet,
And a third one – you may wish to share.

Steve Whitred:

To be fair to Mark, pies made with pear
Are a waste if they’re just made to share:
Mad’s averse to pies based
On their texture and taste,
As she’ll swear to all yet unaware.

Sue Dulley:

If our Mark baked a spare filled with pear
Or apple or peach, just to share,
And Mad wouldn’t bite,
It might still be all right—
Friends would flock to their flat for such fare.

Mark Kane:

Did they come for the laughs or the pear?
As they eat, it is clear what we share.
When I run out of pie,
And they leave, I’ll know why:
It’s not me but the fare. That’s not fair!

But one stays, and look at her pair!
I’m grinning, but try not to stare.
She puts down her plate,
And she soon seals my fate,
By getting us both very bare.

(Note from Mad Kane: For anyone suspecting marital bias in Mark’s getting this award, I gave him one, not because we’re married, but in spite of it.)

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Sue Dulley, Cyn, Kevin Ahern, Ira Bloom, Kirk Miller, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Steve Whitred, and David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Sue Dulley:

A woman was trying to pare
Her collection of dresses to wear,
For since she’s retired
They won’t be required
(Unless she begins an affair.)

Cyn:

A fellow who tried to repair
A couch that had seen too much wear
Got the job done so wrong
That he claimed, “All along
I was planning to make it a chair.”

Kevin Ahern:

On my trip to Helsinki — despair!
This story I’ve told everywhere:
Our luggage was lost
At a terrible cost.
It vanished right into Finn Air.

Ira Bloom:

A fellow who needed a pair,
(His had shrunk, in his wife’s angry glare!)
Was resolved to save face,
And put her in her place,
In his mind. But out loud? Au contraire.

Kirk Miller:

“The national budget I’ll pare,”
Said Dubya, who used lots of flair.
“It makes lots of sense
To cut our defense.
Change the Pentagon into a square!”

Jane Shelton Hoffmann:

A fellow had ordered a pair
Of women to come to his lair:
One blonde, one brunette,
But he seemed to forget
‘Twas a weekend his kids would be there.

Steve Whitred:

Forlornly she fondled his pair.
Then she said with her eyes all a-glare,
“In light of the linkage
Of old age to shrinkage,
I’ll bet that you color your hair.”

David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:

A fastidious English au pair
With a family who lived in Bel Air
Told the handyman, Paul,
That his tool was too small:
“In love,” she said, “awl is not fair.”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 4 Comments »

Limerick of the Week (116)

Sunday, June 2nd, 2013

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Kirk Miller, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

As you age you may feel rather ill,
But your life needn’t lack for a thrill.
Here’s a message that’s true:
Just remember that you
Pick up speed when you’re going down hill.

Congratulations to Ailsa McKillop, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

Ailsa McKillop:

A gal who was feeling quite ill
Said bravely, “I just have a chill.”
But the cause of malaise
Was one Nature obeys
When a woman forgets just one Pill.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly, Sue Dulley, Scott Crowder, Fred Bortz, John Peter Larkin, Colleen Murphy, and David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Phyllis Sterling Smith:

A man who was frequently ill
Was told to eat plenty of krill
Which his doctor, a shark,
Had prescribed as a lark,
Then sent him a whale of a bill.

Byron Miller:

Tis a good wind which blows one no ill
That will swirl ‘neath girls’ dresses and thrill
Passing gents with a peek
At the regions they seek,
Lifting hopes which they long to fulfill.

Sue Dulley:

North Koreans once had Kim Jong-il
Rule their land with his powerful will.
Now it falls to his son,
Who is named Kim Jong-un,
His father’s large flip-flops to fill.

Scott Crowder:

A woman was feeling quite ill
At the thought of that five dollar bill
In the crack of her butt;
She becomes such a slut
When Tequila determines her will.

Fred Bortz:

The mallard was feeling quite ill
So the duck doctor gave him a pill.
But the bird blew his stack,
‘Cause the doc was a quack
And charged him a wing and a bill.

John Peter Larkin:

A gal was convinced she was ill
After eating an off-tasting dill.
She asked her poor spouse
Why he’s still in the house
And not fetching a curative pill.

Colleen Murphy:

A drunkard was feeling quite ill
After reading his credit card bill.
“On the first of September
The flight I remember,
But not where I spent half a mil!”

David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:

A woman was suddenly ill
When she glanced at the theater’s playbill,
And found it quite odd;
She’d reserved Sweeney Todd,
But the Barber was now in Seville.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 9 Comments »

Limerick of the Week (98)

Sunday, January 27th, 2013

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Jamie Hutchinson, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A woman would always come clean
With the truth to the men she had seen:
“I’ll say Yes but—don’t hate me—
The best way to date me
Is to measure my carbon 14.”

Congratulations to Bob Dvorak, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

A woman who hated to clean
Checked the room of her typical teen,
Where she found seven plates,
Peanuts, walnuts, and dates,
And some ham, biologically green.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order): Johanna Richmond, Scott Crowder, Chris Doyle, Kathy El-Assal, Edmund Conti, Kirk Miller, Steve Whitred, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Johanna Richmond:

A president chose to come clean
In a red, white and very blue scene,
And the subtext was this:
Here’s my rear for a kiss,
GOP, if you think I’m still green.

Scott Crowder:

A woman who hated to clean,
Was a sex-hungry, lovin’ machine.
And the men she’d been dating,
Are anxiously waiting
For someone to find a vaccine.

Chris Doyle:

A leatherneck never comes clean
When he romps around town as a queen
In a dress and high heels
Getting liquored-up SEALs
To unwittingly do a marine.

Kathy El-Assal:

A librarian liked her books clean,
Preferring her pages pristine.
As for S&M porn,
She only had scorn
Fifty shades of bad writing? Obscene!

Edmund Conti:

Said a fellow who hated to clean
The gunk off his new guillotine,
“It’s a pain in the neck
Cleaning all of this dreck
Just to peel a small ripe tangerine.

Kirk Miller:

A comedian planned to come clean
In his stand-up. “My future routine
Won’t have cussing from me
‘Cause my humor,” said he,
“Unlike kids, should be heard, not obscene.”

Steve Whitred:

A fellow who hated to clean
Has created a washing routine.
Now he schedules each bath
Using log’rithmic math
So they’re fewer and farther between.

Phyllis Sterling Smith:

A young actress who wished to be “clean”
Was embarrassed to read on the screen
That it rated an X
Just because she had sex
In a scene that was seen as obscene!

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 11 Comments »

Limerick of the Week (97) (Updated)

Sunday, January 20th, 2013

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Kirk Miller, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

“There’s a raven that’s dead down below,”
Said the vulture. The eagle said, “No,
You are wrong as can be.”
So they flew down to see,
And the vulture was forced to eat crow.

(Please note that Kirk’s limerick technically violates my rules, by using my first line as his last line. But I liked his limerick so much, I chose it anyway.)

Congratulations to Robert Basler, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick:

A woman refused to eat crow
Or haggis, or broiled escargot.
The quite picky maven
Said, “Once I ate raven,
But never again! Never-mo!”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Sue Dulley, Chris Doyle, Kathy El-Assal, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, and Steve Earp. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Sue Dulley:

A baker refused to eat crow
For letting her business run low:
The bread wouldn’t rise
To a suitable size
Cuz the banker had frozen her dough.

Chris Doyle:

A caterer never ate crow
Though she served an hors d’oeuvre that caused woe.
Her “caviar emptor”
Was ruled to exempt her
If customers upchucked the roe.

Kathy El-Assal:

Ann Coulter refused to eat crow,
Finding left-wing critique oh-so-faux.
She just doubled down,
Knowing Fox News renown
Was the source from whence fortune would flow.

Jamie Hutchinson:

A blowhard who wouldn’t eat crow
Was convinced he was someone you’d know—
So much that he coughed
An objection (though soft)
When the coroner tagged him “John Doe.”

Jane Shelton Hoffman:

A woman would frequently crow:
“Plastic surgery’s THE way to go.”
But her skin was so tight
She could not smile or bite.
And when folks saw her breasts, they’d say, “Whoa!”

Steve Earp:

A raven was mocked by a crow:
“You don’t know Mark Twain from van Gogh.”
But the crow could have cried
When the raven replied,
“Have you been the subject of Poe?”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 8 Comments »

Limerick of the Week (91)

Sunday, December 9th, 2012

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A king who was rather urbane
Decreed that, throughout his domain,
The marching brigades
Must practice their trades
If they want to parade on his reign.

Congratulations to Craig Dykstra, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

My accountant is smart and urbane.
He knows tricks that can hide any gain.
His skills are so clear
That he’s known around here
As the Master of Ledger-demain.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Robert Schechter, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Colleen Murphy, Kathy El-Assal, Bob Dvorak, Jamie Hutchinson, Kirk Miller, and KC Browncoat Sloan. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Robert Schechter:

A baker from France, so urbane,
Decided to open a chain
Of stores selling bread,
But it sounded instead
Like he sold S&M: “Au Bon Pain.”

Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:

My dog who is rather urbane
Thinks trips to the woods are a pain,
Just tree trunks and bugs
with NO hydrant plugs.
He lifts up his leg in disdain.

Colleen Murphy:

The British folk, mostly urbane
Thought England’s Prince Harry inane
For clearly not knowing
The parts he was showing
Would not just in Vegas remain.

Kathy El-Assal:

There once was an artist urbane,
Avant-guard in the past, now mundane.
To reignite interest,
He posted on Pinterest
A shock-value, cock weathervane.

Bob Dvorak:

A man who was rather urbane
Thought his lim’ricks did better in Spain.
But sea air wouldn’t do,
So to Paris he flew.
In the end they just found him… in Seine.

Jamie Hutchinson:

A rancher who’s very urbane
Gives his cattle a sip of champagne
From a glass, not a trough,
Before sending them off
To the slaughter by passenger train.

Kirk Miller:

A man who is rather urbane
Is balding and wants to attain
More hair on his head.
A sculler friend said:
The elegant method: Row-gain.

KC Browncoat Sloan:

A man who was rather urbane,
From drinking would often abstain.
When friends asked him why,
He would say, with a sigh,
“Well, the shakes make me spill my cocaine.”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 7 Comments »

Limerick of the Week (90)

Sunday, December 2nd, 2012

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Scott Crowder, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A fellow who wasn’t too bright,
Was talking while sleeping last night,
‘Til his wife yelled “You Cad!
Who the hell is Miss Mad?
And why must your meter feel right?”

Congratulations to Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

A fellow who wasn’t too bright
Tried improving at school ev’ry night.
Told, “Spell coffee,” he tried
And he answered with pride,
“K-A-Double U-P-H-Y. Right?”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Craig Dykstra, Robert Schechter, Kirk Miller, Beth Parsons, Johanna Richmond, Tim O’N., and Tim James. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Craig Dykstra:

A woman who wasn’t too bright
Met the Wong twins, who asked if she might
Take them both for a spin.
She said “Sex is a sin!”
They convinced her two Wongs make a right.

Robert Schechter:

A vampire who wasn’t too bright
Confused early morning for night.
He went from undead
To dead-dead instead
When he stepped out in dawn’s early light.

Kirk Miller:

Proctologists’ outlooks aren’t bright.
They’re gloomy, as black as the night.
They’re depressed, and why not?
In despair they are caught,
Because always the end is in sight.

Beth Parsons:

A woman who wasn’t too bright
Said her red state would surely vote ‘right.’
When she picked up the papers
She swooned from the vapors:
Her state had turned blue overnight.

Johanna Richmond:

A fellow maliciously bright
Found a new way to act on his spite.
He was simply an ass
Till his wife wanted sass;
Then he smilingly switched to polite.

Tim O’N.:

‘A fellow who isn’t too bright’;
That’s the view that you have of me, right?
Well, you’d best think again
When you see that Mad Kane
Names me prize-winner, next Sunday night.

Tim James:

A woman who isn’t too bright
Appears on that “Jersey Shore” blight.
There’s a lyrical thing
About thoughts taking wing.
With Snooki, they canceled that flight.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »

Limerick of the Week (88)

Sunday, November 18th, 2012

I found reading your entries a treat
And picking the winners a feat.
But judge them I must,
Or I’m bound to be trussed
Up for failing to pick the elite.

And so … it’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Craig Dykstra, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

Two cannibals fought o’er a treat:
A settler who died in the heat.
The one who would win
Got the head to the shin,
While the loser accepted de feet.

And congratulations once again to Craig Dykstra, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for the same limerick, which received the most Facebook “likes.”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kirk Miller, Jamie Hutchinson, Mark Mironer, Jane Hawes a/k/a Oudiva, Johanna Richmond, David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves,
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, and Scott Crowder. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Kirk Miller:

A fellow would frequently treat
His wife to an ironing feat.
He would start at the dawn;
All day long he’d “press” on.
He’d work ’til the job was com-pleat.

Jamie Hutchinson:

They’d warned him: One Rice Krispie treat
And you’re hopelessly stuck on the sweet.
As he started to chew
The snap-crackle-pop goo,
The abstract became the concrete.

Mark Mironer:

A woman would frequently treat
Dave Petraeus to sex in his suite.
But his penchant for play
Meant goodbye, CIA
When he had to give up on deceit.

Jane Hawes a/k/a Oudiva:

A fellow would frequently treat
Himself to a meal of fine meat.
One time on a dare
He took his lamb rare,
But gagged when it started to bleat!

Johanna Richmond:

Said the man while preparing a treat
For his wife who enjoyed a good sweet:
“To make things enticing
Let’s first spread the icing.
Then you lick the beater; I’ll beat.”

David McCormick:

A woman would frequently treat
E D in her men with red meat;
Then she’d strip to the waist …
Sorry folks, for good taste,
This limerick must stay incomplete.

Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:

A woman would frequently treat
Human “friends” as the friends to delete.
Frequent trips to the vet’s
Showed her preference for pets,
And she learned how to meow, bark, and tweet.

Scott Crowder:

A fellow would frequently treat,
Himself to the odd and off-beat.
This Renaissance man
Liked his wine in a can,
And his favorite Beatle was Pete.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | Comments Off on Limerick of the Week (88)

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