This headline reminded me that today (June 21) is International Day Of Yoga: “International Yoga Day: PM Modi leads celebrations at UN Headquarters in New York”.
So it’s time for yet another yoga-related limerick:
I used to do yoga most days.
It was more than a health-conscious phase.
But I did it MY way;
Certain moves were a NAY
To avoid setting bad wrists ablaze.
A fresh donut was found in the grass,
Not yet fettered by insects en masse.
Who’d abandon a tasty
Sweet treat? Seems a hasty
Retreat must have caused this to pass.
A young fellow sensed something amiss
With wife Fran from her lackluster kiss;
She had downed sev’ral beers,
Then compounded his fears:
“I’m not Fran, but her evil twin sis.”
(“National Kissing Day” falls each year on June 22.)
Riding bikes while you’re naked sounds odd,
No matter the shape of your bod.
If you’re nude and ride past,
Kindly pedal by fast.
And do NOT expect ME to applaud!
(World Naked Bike Ride Day is celebrated each year on the second Saturday of June.)
Said a gal, “Please attend to that fly.”
So her husband looked down to comply.
“But it’s zipped,” he said, bugged.
(Nothing moved when he tugged.)
“You blew it. It flew in my eye.”
(On June 8, Canadians celebrate National Insect Appreciation Day — NAIAD.)
A gal, an industrious knitter,
Showed a huge heap of knits to her sitter:
“It’s a mess, I confess.
If you sort it, dear Tess,
I shall give you the pick of the litter.”
(Worldwide Knit In Public Day is the 2nd Saturday of June.)
Happy “Swim A Lap Day!” (June 24)
“Swim A Lap Day?” I’ve heard that it’s here.
But my swimming is dreadful, I fear.
My strokes are too wild,
And I thrash like a child,
So it’s best that I rest on the pier.
Picnics certainly hold some appeal,
For it’s hard not to savor a meal
Where the air’s fresh and sweet,
Though it sure would be neat,
If those bugs had a trifle less zeal.
Happy International Picnic Day (June 18)
My quatrain “celebrating” National Get Outdoors Day. (Second Saturday of June)
The sky was so effulgent,
it lured me outside.
But the temps and gusts were brutal.
Seems that sneaky sun lied.
Happy World Gin Day! (2nd Saturday in June)
A salty old boor who likes gin
Claims an ill-made martini’s a sin.
How he’ll grumble and snipe,
As he gins up each gripe!
Those poor bartenders never can win.
It’s Hydration Day. Do not forget:
It’s important to keep your bod wet.
On the inside, I mean,
And not booze or caffeine.
Drinking water replenishes sweat.
For some inexplicable reason, we celebrate International Panic Day today. (June 18)
The concept of Panic Day’s weird;
It’s redundant for me to be steered
Toward something organic.
My panic is manic…
And for doing it daily, I’m geared.
Today is a big day for bourbon,
But my taste for it doesn’t need curbin’.
Now tequila and wine
And cognac are fine.
But the flavor of bourbon? Disturbin’!
Happy National Bourbon Day! (June 14)
A fellow was given the slip
By a woman aboard a large ship.
He’d thought her his mate —
His ocean trip fate —
But he never had time to unzip.
Happy World Oceans Day! (June 8)
A man who should never eat cheese,
Ignores ev’ry cough and each wheeze
That comes in reaction
And once led to traction;
He can’t hack cheese-attraction disease.
Happy National Cheese Lovers Day, which is celebrated on January 20th.
Note: National Cheese Day falls on June 4th.
The U.N. has decreed June 21 to be International Day Of Yoga … which gives me a handy excuse to post this silly limerick:
A gal doing yoga while dressed
In a toga, when questioned, confessed
That her garb did not work—
Turned her poses berserk.
So instead of relaxed, she was stressed.
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using TRUST at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A woman could no longer trust
Her domestic to vacuum or dust.
Yet she did come in handy;
When hubby was randy,
The maid took good care of his lust.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
UPDATE: June 8 is Vacuum Cleaner Day, in honor of Ives W. McGaffey’s June 8, 1869 U.S. patent for the suction vacuum cleaner.
A Spirited Weekend (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
This weekend, two drinks duke it out:
Gin and bourbon — which one has more clout?
Though “World Gin Day” comes first,
Save a bit of your thirst.
Next is bourbon … but no time for stout.
NOTE: World Gin Day is celebrated on the 2nd Saturday of June. National Bourbon Day, on the other hand, is always celebrated on June 14.
Never Tease Me With Teas (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I never drink hot or iced tea.
I just bag it as naught but debris,
Though it might pack a punch
Were it spiked, say with brunch.
But please leave out the tea-taste — that’s key!
NOTE: While studying up on today’s holiday, National Iced Tea Day, I was surprised to learn that tea in the U.S. was originally booze-laden.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
