When a fellow awakened, still stoned
From the evening before, he bemoaned
His divorce from his wife,
The unfairness of life,
And a workplace where drugs aren’t condoned.
Sure enough, when he fin’ly appeared
At the office, things went as he feared:
“Get your gear and clear out,
You are fired, you lout,”
Yelled his mom. “Also, shave off that beard!”
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DRINK or DRINKS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TASTE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TASTE-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: ACE, AFRAID, FUNCTION, JADED, UPSET.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on July 23, 2023 , right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 22, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DRINK/DRINKS-Rhyme Limerick:
A nurse who appears on the brink
Of a breakdown stopped seeing her shrink.
“He’s been making me worse,”
She asserts with a curse.
“Plus he claims that I drove him to drink.”
And here’s my TASTE-Themed Limerick:
A gal with a poor sense of style
Hadn’t bought any clothes in a while.
So she purchased a dress,
A bright red, tasteless mess,
Way too ugly and gross to defile.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
I’m afraid that I’m being replaced
Based on nothing important; I’ve aced
All my functions and more,
Yet they’ve shown me the door.
Their grievance? They claim I eat paste.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
The restaurateur was irate
Cuz his chef was, as usual, late.
“You must clean up your act,
Or expect to be sacked.
It’s time you step up to the plate!”
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who was very astute…*
or
A gal who was very astute…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Astute Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who was very astute
Was stunned to be given the boot.
He dealt with that blow
By building a co
That sells shoes, so his job loss was moot.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
