Posts Tagged ‘Jane Shelton Hoffman’
Sunday, October 14th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A gal was involved in a feud
With a horsey guy, one who had wooed
Her to be his new bride.
She had snorted, replied
“I would rather be bridled and shoed!”
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
An actress was ready to feud.
Her play had been badly reviewed.
So she added a song.
It was detailed and long,
Giving names of the critics she’d screwed.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jamie Hutchinson, Don Fitzpatrick, and Johanna Richmond. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jamie Hutchinson:
Two neighbors fell into a feud
When up came a bubblin’ crude
On the property line.
“It’s all mine!”—”No, it’s mine!”
Ask Iraq and Kuwait what ensued.
Don Fitzpatrick:
A man was involved in a feud
With his neighbours who said he was lewd
For displaying they say
A hard-on each day,
Whilst parading around in the nude.
Johanna Richmond:
Mitt Romney’s concerned that our feud
With Russia’s been far too subdued.
(When lost in the thicket,
Nostalgia’s the ticket.)
The cold war is history, dude!
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Don Fitzpatrick, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Sunday, September 16th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A woman was planning a spread
“For the birthday,” she said, “of my Fred.
He’s a sorry schlemiel
Without much appeal,
But surprisingly useful in bed.”
Congratulations to Susan Taylor, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A rich man was planning a spread
Of ads full of lies to be read.
“We’ll swing the election!
Evade all detection!
It’s free speech, the High Court has said.”
Congratulations to Johanna Richmond, who wins this special Limerick Repartee Award for her limerick written in response to Craig Dykstra’s Limerick of the Week winner from last week. To fully appreciate Johanna’s verse, you need to read Craig’s and Johanna’s limericks back to back. So here they are:
Craig Dykstra:
The bed buyer started to preen,
Though the mattress guy’d said something mean:
He had looked at her mass
And the size of her ass
And said “Madam, you’re fit for a queen!”
Johanna Richmond:
A woman, caressing her spread,
To the squirt at the Sealy store said,
“Queen indeed, but I fear
You can’t satisfy, dear:
Extra firm’s what I like in my bed.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Carolyn Henly, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Daniel Ari, Jamie Hutchinson, and Colleen Murphy. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Tim James:
A fellow was planning a spread;
“A barbecue’s coming!” he said.
But a shortage of beef
Gave him all kinds of grief.
Now no one can find Mr. Ed.
Carolyn Henly:
A woman was planning a spread,
But she wasn’t quite right in the head.
The theme of her gig
Was “A Night in the Brig.”
She served nothing but water and bread.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
While a rancher was checking his spread,
He found a lone cow in a shed.
“The bull is out wooing.
I don’t feel like screwing.
I really don’t want to be bred!”
Daniel Ari: (For an extra laugh check out his limerick link.)
I, Daniel, am planning a spread
Of humus, falafel and bread;
And since my own pate
Is smooth as a plate,
I’ll serve it on top of my head.
Jamie Hutchinson:
When a shepherd boy laid out a spread
For his lover, she turned tail and fled.
“What was it, my pet,
That spoiled our duet?
The haggis? Or something I said?”
Colleen Murphy:
A dingbat was planning a spread,
But mixed up her plans in her head.
She mashed the tomatoes
And sliced raw potatoes,
Then stuffed the fresh duck in the bread.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Carolyn Henly, Colleen Murphy, Craig Dykstra, Daniel Ari, David Lefkovits, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Susan Taylor, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest | 11 Comments »
Sunday, September 9th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Craig Dykstra who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
The bed buyer started to preen,
Though the mattress guy’d said something mean:
He had looked at her mass
And the size of her ass
And said “Madam, you’re fit for a queen!”
Congratulations to Craig Dykstra who also wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for the same limerick, which received the most Facebook “likes.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Nan Reiner (a/k/a Kitty Ditty, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Craig Dykstra, Bruce Niedt, and Jamie Hutchinson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Nan Reiner (a/k/a Kitty Ditty):
A fellow who tended to preen
Flashed a grin at the Jumbo-tron screen
And said, “What nominee?
This is all about me.
I’ll be running in 2016.”
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A woman who tended to preen
Was found dead. Cops were called to the scene.
Her spouse cried, “My wife
Did NOT take her life!
She would never be caught dead in green!”
Craig Dykstra:
For her boyfriend, she started to preen,
Stating “I have the legs of a queen!”
Then she asked “In this light
Which looks best – ‘left’ or ‘right’ ?”
He said “I’m more a fan of ‘between’. “
Bruce Niedt:
A fellow who tended to preen
Picked up gals from the singles bar scene.
But he’s now in the pen
Where he does five-to-ten –
His last conquest was only sixteen.
Jamie Hutchinson:
A charmer was starting to preen,
As he sweet-talked the lovely Alene.
“May I stay?” “Yes, you may.”
Then he learned, as they lay,
That Alene was a Turing machine.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bruce Niedt, Craig Dykstra, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Nan Reiner, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 4 Comments »
Sunday, August 26th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A woman was very obsessed
With being a tidy houseguest.
She was not asked agin,
Though as neat as a pin,
For she’d cleaned out their medicine chest!
Congratulations to Craig Dykstra and Scott Crowder, who are tied in winning this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for their respective limericks, each of which received the most Facebook “likes.”
Craig Dykstra:
Said the wife, when her husband obsessed
That her negligee should have been pressed:
“Are you try’na be cruel
You near-sighted old fool?
I have already gotten undressed!”
Scott Crowder:
A fellow was very obsessed,
And he just couldn’t get any rest,
‘Til the meter was right,
The rhyming was tight,
And the syllables properly stressed.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Bill Klein, Bruce Niedt, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Jim Delaney, and Colleen Murphy. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A fellow was very obsessed
With the size of the feminine breast.
When he’d speak with a lady
His glance was so shady
“Up here!” was the oft-heard request.
Bill Klein:
A fellow was very obsessed
With funds he had chanced to invest.
But alas, Facebook stock
Promptly dropped like a rock.
Thus, so did the egg from his nest.
Bruce Niedt:
A father was very obsessed
With the way that his teenage girl dressed:
“You inveterate flirt,
That’s a belt, not a skirt,
And your blouse reveals most of your chest!”
Phyllis Sterling Smith:
A fellow was very obsessed
With a very old house he possessed
On the Oregon coast,
Even had its own ghost.
It’s the spirit that settled the West!
Jim Delaney:
A woman was very obsessed
With her health, as she later confessed.
Scared of losing her wits,
She kept checking her tits
To make sure she was keeping abreast.
Colleen Murphy:
“My poodle is very obsessed
With mating,” his owner confessed,
“The Great Dane next door.
But prospects are poor
‘Cause he’s barely a foot high at best.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bill Klein, Bruce Niedt, Colleen Murphy, Craig Dykstra, David Lefkovits, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jim Delaney, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 6 Comments »
Sunday, July 15th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A parrot was proud of his skill.
He could learn any words you would drill.
But a problem occurred
When the man heard the bird
Say, “Come over when he’s at the mill.”
Congratulations to Robert Basler who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A fellow was proud of his skill
At signing his name with a quill.
Said his friend, Paul Revere,
“Put your John Hancock here!
“Make it large, we’ve got pages to fill!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) VerseBender, Edmund Conti, Bryan Coughlan, and Johanna Richmond. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Versebender:
A fellow was proud of his skill
Making moonshine inside of his still.
But his profits were few
In spite of his brew
‘Cause he’d swill every drop he’d distill.
Edmund Conti:
A fellow was proud of his skill
At giving his good wife a thrill.
Said she of his mountin’,
“I fear that your Fountain
Of Youth has gone over the hill.”
Bryan Coughlan:
A lawyer was proud of his skill,
Charged one pound of flesh for his bill.
That’s not just a saying.
His clients were paying.
So where there’s a weigh, there’s a will.
Johanna Richmond:
A fellow was proud of his skill
With the help of a little blue pill,
Till his paramour mumbled
A mouthful that humbled:
“It fills but the thrills, Will, are nil.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bryan Coughlan, Edmund Conti, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Robert Basler, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 3 Comments »
Sunday, July 1st, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A woman was putting on airs
At society ballroom affairs:
“I’m seeing a gent
From the point-one percent;
It’s beneath me to date millionaires.”
Congratulations to Bob Dvorak who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A woman was putting on airs
And padding her modest upstairs.
The guy on her date
Found this all out too late.
‘Twas a package of buyer B-wares.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Chris Doyle, Jason Talbott, Craig Dykstra, Patrick McKeon, Johanna Richmond, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty, and Jamie Hutchinson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Chris Doyle:
An attorney was putting on airs
To impress his new right-wing confrères:
“Screw the ACLU!
I’m preparing to sue
In high court for my right to arm bears!”
Jason Talbott:
A fellow was putting on airs
As a master of plumbing repairs,
But his ego was crushed
When the toilet was flushed
And the payload still flowed down the stairs.
Craig Dykstra:
A pro bowler was putting on airs:
“I love women – alone or in pairs.
When I see one I like
I can score with one strike,
And I’m quite good at picking up spares.”
Patrick McKeon:
A woman was putting on airs
As she slowly ascended the stairs
But her cover was blown
When the glass floor had shown
That the dress is quite all that she wears.
Johanna Richmond:
Jan Brewer is putting on airs.
It’s a win for the states, she declares!
The republican style
(Ignore facts with a smile)
Suits this queen of right-wing derrieres.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A hunter was putting on airs.
He’d shot moose and he’d wrestled with bears.
Then a tiny grey mouse
Appeared in his house
And he fled to the top of the stairs.
Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty
A fellow was putting on Airs,
But his wife flashed disparaging stares.
“Get the shoes if you like,
But you won’t play like Mike
Even if you buy fifty-nine pairs!”
Jamie Hutchinson:
Viagra is putting on airs
With old couples who dash up the stairs.
Why, the ladies, you’d think
Had grown a new pink
And the gents had developed new pairs!
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bob Dvorak, Chris Doyle, Craig Dykstra, David Lefkovits, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jason Talbott, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Nan Reiner, Patrick McKeon, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Sunday, June 24th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to SisterAE who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A man who was never in doubt
Left his wife with a permanent pout.
Every secret he’d share,
And cute tips (like you care!)
On the things he knew nothing about.
Congratulations to Scott Crowder who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A man who is never in doubt,
Is a man we can all live without
Because he’ll refuse
To see other views,
And learn what real life is about.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kathy El-Assal, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Patrick McKeon, VerseBender, David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves, and Linda Fuller. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Kathy El-Assal:
When young she was never in doubt
About getting a surgical pout.
Now with lips like a fish
This actress’s wish
Is not to resemble a trout.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A guy was once never in doubt
That he just wasn’t really that stout,
Till he could not dislodge
Himself from his Dodge.
Triple A had to come pry him out.
Patrick McKeon:
A man who was never in doubt
Would pound on his bible and shout:
“If the Lord walked today
He would punish the gay.”
Then his elderly mother came out.
Versebender:
A man who was never in doubt
As to what this old world is about
Said, “Listen, my son
To Rule Number One:
Only money provides you with clout.”
David McCormick:
A Lim’ricker, never in doubt
That this week, his verse would win out,
Reached the end of line 3
BUT THEN ACCIDENT’LY
HIT CAPS LOCK AND WAS TOLD NOT TO SHOUT.
Linda Fuller:
A man who was tortured by doubt
Joined a cult and became quite devout.
He gave them his money,
Ate raw eggs with honey
And worshipped a virginal trout.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: David McCormick, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Linda Fuller, Patrick McKeon, Scott Crowder, SisterAE, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 7 Comments »
Saturday, June 16th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jason Talbott who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A man who is very astute
Knows that sometimes it’s best to stay mute.
If your girl asks on chat,
“Do you think that I’m fat?”
Just pretend that you have to reboot.
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A man who was very astute
Had dress stores that made lots of loot.
The women would flock
To buy a new frock,
For his clerks were well hung and quite cute.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Patrick McKeon, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Scott Crowder, Jamie Hutchinson, Johanna Richmond, and VerseBender. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Patrick McKeon:
A man who was very astute
At a concert for lute and for flute,
Knew the show would be bad
And the audience mad,
So he brought a large crate with bad fruit.
Veralynne Bosko Pepper:
A girl who was very astute
Was also alarmingly cute.
She’d use men for their money
By promising honey–
When promise time came she would scoot!
Scott Crowder:
A gal who was very astute
Received very little repute.
And because of her dress,
She is doomed to earn less
Than a swinging dick wearing a suit.
Jamie Hutchinson:
The trombonist was very astute,
Placed behind the young belle who played flute:
He worked his big slide
Without letting it ride
And “protected” the girl with a mute.
Johanna Richmond:
A gal who was hardly astute
But knew how to wink and look cute
Morphed from sweet Miss Wasilla
To Fox News Attila;
We all wish she’d stuck to the flute.
Versebender:
A man who was very astute
Found his checkbook just did not compute.
So he said to his wife,
“I can’t for my life
Figure what you have done with our loot.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jason Talbott, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Patrick McKeon, Scott Crowder, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 9 Comments »
Sunday, June 10th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Daniel Ari who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A congressman shooting the breeze
With an intern said, “Look at this sleaze!
The press keeps on beating
My colleague for cheating —
Perhaps you should get off your knees.”
Congratulations to Bruce Niedt who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A woman was shooting the breeze
With the man on the flying trapeze,
But her chat with her friend
Had a very sad end —
You can’t text while you hang from your knees.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Richard Schear, Jason Talbott, Linda Fuller, Jane Shelton Hoffman, and Colleen Murphy. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Richard Schear:
A fellow was shooting the breeze
With talk of the birds and the bees.
His wife overheard,
But said not a word,
For she knew he had no expertise!
Jason Talbott:
A woman was shooting the breeze,
Speaking French with her man overseas,
Never once disagreeing,
The main reason being:
Her boyfriend speaks only Chinese.
Linda Fuller:
A fellow was shooting the breeze
With a winsome young thing named Louise,
Whose looks were deceiving.
The chap yelled while leaving,
“You win some, I lose some, you tease!”
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A fellow was shooting the breeze,
But he missed and shot down sev’ral trees.
Friends asked, “Man, are you blind
Or just out of your mind?”
He yelled, “Y’all heard me tell it to freeze!”
Colleen Murphy:
A woman was shooting the breeze,
Discussing the habits of bees.
“Imagine the scene
Where I could be queen
And bring all the men to their knees!”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bruce Niedt, Colleen Murphy, Daniel Ari, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jason Talbott, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Linda Fuller, Richard Schear, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Sunday, June 3rd, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jamie Hutchinson who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A fellow came forth to be wed
By a judge before whom he had pled
So often that now,
When asked for his vow,
By habit “Not guilty!” he said.
Congratulations to John Peter Larkin who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A woman was planning to wed
And visions of bliss filled her head.
But it all came to naught
When her lover was caught
With the wife he’d neglected to shed.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jane Shelton Hoffman, Richard Schear, Linda Fuller, Elaine Spall, Johanna Richmond, and Robert Schechter. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A fellow was planning to wed
Till he found out they’d both been misled.
She said she was Doris.
Turned out she was Horace.
And he was an Alice, not Fred!
Richard Schear:
A fellow was planning to wed
A girl who was all in his head.
He thought, “No big deal
If she is unreal.
At least she won’t nag me in bed.”
Linda Fuller:
A woman was nervous to wed
A man with a nose cherry red.
Was it booze? Inflammation?
A freaky mutation?
Or should he be pulling a sled?
Elaine Spall:
A fellow was planning to wed
And pleased when his fiance said,
“I don’t think I can swap.
I just must be on top.”
Then he found out she bought a bunk bed.
Johanna Richmond:
Mister Romney will now try to wed
Mainstream views to extreme things he’s said,
But Ayn Randian mean
Is a bitch to scrub clean;
Ain’t no hosing that tea from his bed.
Robert Schechter:
A woman was planning to wed
A man who was thoroughly dead.
“The long and the short is
I love rigor mortis,”
She winked. “It’s so useful in bed.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Elaine Spall, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, John Peter Larkin, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Linda Fuller, Richard Schear, Robert Schechter, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 10 Comments »
Saturday, May 19th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A gal in an overpriced store
Got stopped as she walked out the door.
“What alerted you, sir?”
“Well, you’re wearing a fur,
And it’s 98 out, if not more.”
Congratulations to Jamie Hutchinson who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
The Prez bought an overpriced store
Of supplies for the Middle East war.
The dealers were sharks,
The bombs missed their marks,
And the Congress declared, “Buy some more!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Elizabeth Civinskas a/k/a Mrs.Smeej, Johanna Richmond, Bruce Niedt, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Daniel Ari, and Colleen Murphy. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Elizabeth Civinskas:
A gal in an overpriced store
Said, shocked to the depths of her core:
“With prices so high
“There should be a guy
“To carry me in from the door.”
Johanna Richmond:
A man in an overpriced store
Embarrassed his wife to the core:
While the one percent stared,
Indiscreetly he aired,
“JC Penney’s got dresses galore!”
Bruce Niedt:
A gal in an overpriced store
Found herself a nice Christian Dior,
But they thought her a lout,
And said, kicking her out,
“You pronounce it cou-TURE, not cou-TOR!”
Veralynne Bosko Pepper:
A gal in an overpriced store
Tried a dress on so tight that it tore.
Embarrassed to death
She started on meth,
And pounds! Well, she lost ‘em galore!
Daniel Ari:
A man in an overpriced store
Said, “Show me some more, I implore.
This past Mother’s Day
I forgot. Now I’ll pay
Restitution by Christian Dior.”
Colleen Murphy:
A gal in an overpriced store
Somehow slipped on a spot on the floor.
Her lawyer she dialed;
A lawsuit he filed,
Which led to an overpriced score.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bruce Niedt, Colleen Murphy, Daniel Ari, Elizabeth Civinskas, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 14 Comments »
Saturday, May 12th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Craig Dyskstra who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Met a blonde in a bar with a tan;
As we danced, she purred “I’m Maryanne.”
But the bar’s in Key West
So the rest you’ll have guessed:
That my tan Maryanne was a man.
And further congratulations go to Craig Dykstra who also wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award, but for a different limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
My freckle-faced girl can’t get tan,
So she sits in the shade with a fan.
She finally learned
That she’d only get burned.
She’s a ginger, she’s not Mary Ann.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Elaine Spall, John Peter Larkin, Linda Fuller, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Robert Schechter, and Patrick McKeon. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Elaine Spall:
A guy with a very deep tan
Caught his tie on a new celing fan.
Such a costly mistake:
‘Cause his colour was fake
He spray painted the walls as he span.
John Peter Larkin:
A guy with a very deep tan
Tried out to be Marlboro’s man.
But, because of his cough,
His name was crossed off,
And that was the end of his plan.
Linda Fuller:
A gal with a very deep tan
Ate nothing but oatmeal and bran.
She tie-died her clothing
And felt a strong loathing
For food that came out of a can.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A guy with a very dark tan
Had left his four wives in Iran.
To be very specific,
They’d been too prolific
And he couldn’t afford a big van.
Robert Schechter:
A gal with a very deep tan
Encountered a dirty old man,
So brash and obscene he
Asked, “‘Does your bikini
Hide bronze, or a lily white can?”
Patrick McKeon:
A gal with a very deep tan
Had a different last testament plan.
Since her skin just like leather
Would hold out all weather,
It was left to a tent making man.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Craig Dykstra, Elaine Spall, Jane Shelton Hoffman, John Peter Larkin, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Linda Fuller, Patrick McKeon, Robert Schechter, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 3 Comments »
Sunday, April 15th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Johanna Richmond who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A fellow was starting to snap
His fingers and point to his lap,
When his wife snarled, “You lech,
If you want me to fetch
Like a dog, give me more than that scrap!”
Congratulations to Brenda Bryant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A fellow was taking a snap
Of a lady who’d had a mishap.
Something really quite drastic
Had snapped her elastic!
No wonder his face got a slap!
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Robert Basler, Scott Crowder, David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves, Jane Shelton Hoffman, and Elaine Spall. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A fellow was trying to snap
The brim of his stylish golf cap.
When a gust made it fly,
“Oh, I’m glad,” said the guy,
“That the cap and not me hit the trap,”
Robert Basler:
A fellow was starting to snap.
He did not want to get a bad rap.
He was racking his brain!
Would Madeleine Kane
Allow him to use the word crap?
Scott Crowder:
A woman was starting to snap:
The corkscrew was working like crap.
Then hubby came in,
And said with a grin,
“Honey, just twist off the cap.”
David McCormick:
A dachshund was starting to snap
At the cheese in a loaded mousetrap,
When the spring went ‘KAPOW!’
And that, friends, is how
The pug first appeared on the map!
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A woman was starting to snap.
Her boss had his hand in her lap.
As his fingers progressed
She felt really hard-pressed
To play ball or get sacked by this chap.
Elaine Spall:
A woman was starting to snap
‘Cause she just could not undo the strap:
“Sure, it gives a nice shape
But my ‘girls’ can’t escape.
This new bra, should be called ‘Booby Trap'”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brenda Bryant, David McCormick, Elaine Spall, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Robert Basler, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 7 Comments »
Sunday, March 25th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A woman who tended her brood,
Followed hens who had eggs to extrude.
When a randy old rooster
Ran up and then goosed her,
She cried, “What a foul interlude!”
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A woman who tended to brood
Decided to have her hair blued
When she heard someone say,
“She ought to stay gray
Because that color matches her mood.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Robert Schechter, Jim Delaney, Patience and the Prodigal, and RJ Clarken. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A fellow who tended to brood
On the right to be seen in the nude
Appealed to the court
With no briefs in support,
So they didn’t know what to conclude.
Robert Schechter:
A fellow who tended to brood
When a lion considered him food,
Declared, “I’m so sorry
To leave your safari,
But lions are best when eschewed.”
Jim Delaney:
A fellow who tended to brood
Had the notion to start up a feud.
Soon his lust for vendetta
Outclassed operetta
For plots that were petty, but skewed.
Patience and the Prodigal:
A fellow who tended to brood
Checked the price of a barrel of crude:
“To the devil and hell
With Exxon and Shell.”
For the rest of his life he canoed!
RJ Clarken:
A fella who tended to brood
On affairs of the heart, did conclude
That perhaps if he tried
A somnambulant bride
She would not run away when pursued.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Byron Miller, David Lefkovits, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jim Delaney, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Patience and the Prodigal, RJ Clarken, Robert Schechter, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 13 Comments »
Sunday, March 18th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Robert Schechter who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Young Jack, who was terribly shrill,
Said, “Give me another chance, Jill!”
But her dad said, “My daughter
Don’t need your damn water,
You klutz! Stay away from that hill!”
Congratulations to Jason Talbott who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook likes:
A man who was terribly shrill
Tried to sing with vibrato and trill.
The glassware all shattered
As bar patrons scattered
And they’ve banned karaoke there still.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Madeleine Sara Maddocks, Craig Dykstra, Neal Pattison, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Ira Bloom, and John Reeves a/k/a Doggerelo. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Madeleine Maddocks:
A gal who was terribly shrill
On account of her helium thrill
Sold balloons at the fair
’Til she took to the air
And was seen floating over a hill.
Craig Dykstra:
So this gal with a voice that was shrill,
Said of birthdays, ”I’ve quite had my fill!”
Then she grabbed up a knife
And soon ended her life.
Now she’s under, not over, the hill.
Neal Pattison:
A jerk who was terribly shrill
Had a label for those on the pill:
No ifs, ands or buts,
He called them all sluts.
Now the pig finds his fat on the grill.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A gal who was terribly shrill
Was known for her horror film skill.
She could shriek loud and clear
And show real intense fear.
She was often the one they would kill.
Ira Bloom:
A guy who was terribly shrill
Told a woman who’d eaten her fill:
“Have you stepped on a scale?
You’re as big as a whale!
I suggest you cut back on the krill!”
John Reeves a/k/a Doggerelo
A gal who was terribly shrill
Broke glass with her voice for a thrill.
She hit the wrong note
In a glass-bottomed boat.
They’re dragging the lake for her still.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Craig Dykstra, Ira Bloom, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jason Talbott, John Reeves, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Madeleine Sara Maddocks, Neal Pattison, Robert Schechter, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 9 Comments »
Sunday, March 11th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Scott Crowder who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A man who was partial to gin,
Was on the beach, looking at skin,
When he heard from his wife,
“If you value your life,
You’ll keep that damned tongue of yours in!”
Congratulations to Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A gal who was partial to gin
Eschewed food and soon grew very thin.
Her early demise
Was not a surprise.
She sipped from a straw and fell in.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Mark Megson, Kathy El-Assal, Robert Schechter, Craig Dykstra, Jane Shelton Hoffman, and Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Mark Megson:
A gal who was partial to gin
Drank dry every bar she was in.
She’d drink without tonic
At speeds supersonic,
And boy did the bartenders grin.
Kathy El-Assal:
A woman was partial to gin,
Bridge, canasta: her drive was to win.
A game of strip poker–
Now that nearly broke her–
Reduced her to panties and skin.
Robert Schechter:
A man who was partial to gin
Said, “The thing is that when I begin
I find I can’t stop
Till the world is a top
And I’m dizzily watching it spin.”
Craig Dykstra:
A gal who was partial to gin,
‘Cause it gave her a license to sin,
Finally gave up on men,
And swore “Never again!”
Since the last one turned out to be kin.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A gal who was partial to gin
Played often, but she couldn’t win.
So her boyfriend, a joker,
Suggested strip poker.
With just a few hands he was in.
Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty:
A man who was partial to gin
Performed a contortionist spin.
When asked how he stuck it,
Said “I’m from Nantucket,”
And flashed a lascivious grin.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Craig Dykstra, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Mark Megson, Nan Reiner, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Robert Schechter, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 9 Comments »
Sunday, February 12th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to SCOTT CROWDER who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A fellow was way off his game,
When the ‘Notice of Child Support’ came.
They had fun there’s no doubt,
On that couch that pulled out.
He wishes that he’d done the same.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Colleen Murphy, and Jane Shelton Hoffman. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A fellow was way off his game
Of finding wild beasts he could tame,
But gained recognition
(Though NOT by volition)
When eaten by lions. That’s fame!
Colleen Murphy:
A fellow was way off his game,
Speed eating his once-claim-to-fame.
While wolfing down pie
Some seagulls flew by;
What they dropped and his bite were the same.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A woman was way off her game.
Her sex life was getting too tame.
She perfumed certain parts
And tattooed on some hearts,
But still with all this, no one came!
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Colleen Murphy, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest | 12 Comments »
Sunday, January 29th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to JANE SHELTON HOFFMAN who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A man with a very full plate
Ordinarily had to work late,
But his young, lovely wife
Had her own secret life.
Let’s just say her masseur was quite straight.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Colleen Murphy, J Cosmo Newbery, Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly, Versebender, and Johanna Richmond. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Colleen Murphy:
A gal with a very full plate
Went out on her very first date,
But with ten minutes gone
It was time to move on,
So she jilted her dumbfounded mate.
J Cosmo Newbery:
A man with a very full plate
Ignored the allure of his date.
“The main course is divine,
Then there’s cake, cheese and wine;
The entree will just have to wait.”
Bryon Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly:
A nymphet with a personal plate
Would slow down and cause traffic to wait.
As men drove up behind her
They read this reminder:
IALWZGVHEDWNID8
Versebender:
A man with a very full plate
Had no time to look for a mate.
So he ordered online
A companion divine
That all he need do is inflate.
Johanna Richmond:
Bachman’s man has a very full plate,
What with legions of gays to set straight.
But his “pray away” swagger,
Suggests the old wagger
May have tried out the rear pearly gate.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Byron Miller, Colleen Murphy, J Cosmo Newbery, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest | 2 Comments »
Sunday, January 1st, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to BYRON MILLER a/k/a ERROL NIMBLY who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A husband who’d stepped on some toes,
Always staying out late with some hos,
Woke to breakfast in bed
And a short note, which read:
Here’s your sausage, I hope it regrows.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Matty, RJ Clarken, Gordon Richmond, and Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A fellow who’d stepped on some toes
When competing with ballroom dance pros
Displayed in his jive,
While broadcasting live,
What a slip of the zip might expose.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A fellow who’d stepped on some toes
Had created a large group of foes.
So in spite of his drive
His career took a dive
And he ended up stocking at Lowes.
Matty:
A fellow who’d stepped on some toes
Had an ego as big as his nose,
Until one day his bride
Shot a hole in his pride
And told him the sex really blows.
RJ Clarken:
A fellow who stepped on some toes
And garnered political woes
Told more lies and then cheered
When opponents got smeared
While the public got led by the nose.
Gordon Richmond:
A woman who’d stepped on some toes
By writing her triple X prose
Was sent off to jail
And denied any bail;
Now she lives with the rest of the hos.
Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly:
Said a sultan who’d stepped on some toes,
“In a harem, that’s just how it goes:
With my wives all entangled
A few may get mangled —
It’s best to arrange them in rows.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Byron Miller, David Lefkovits, Gordon Richmond, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Matty, RJ Clarken, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 3 Comments »
Sunday, December 4th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to IRA BLOOM who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:
A fellow whose last dime was spent
On toner, proceeded to vent:
“That HP ink-jet
We were eager to get
Now’s the printer of our discontent.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Edmund Conti, Robert Schechter, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Jane Shelton Hoffman, and Arthur Goikhman a/k/a SurrealGames. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Edmund Conti:
A fellow whose last dime was spent
Decided to sell his one stent.
His search was in vain.
Do I need to explain
That pun which you’ll come to resent?
Robert Schechter:
A woman whose last dime was spent
Entertaining an indigent gent,
Said, “I’m such a dumb bunny.
I thought he had money!
But that’s not what ‘indigent’ meant.”
Veralynne Bosko Pepper:
A woman whose last dime was spent
Found the key to her lock box was bent.
Oh, what could she do?
Solicit a screw?
In a blur, to the bar off she went.
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A fellow whose last dime was spent,
Not despairing, went on to invent
A money machine
Like none before seen.
Can you guess to which prison he went?
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A fellow whose last dime was spent
Had no money for food or for rent.
He committed a crime
So he could do time
And live on the taxpayers’ cent.
Arthur Goikhman a/k/a SurrealGames:
A fellow whose last dime was spent
On proving he had no intent
Was guilty as sin
But savored his win,
Since no one dug up the cement.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Edmund Conti, Ira Bloom, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Robert Schechter, SurrealGames, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week | 5 Comments »
