My damn email spam’s out of control!
My attempts at a fix? A black hole!
Unsubscribing with zeal
Simply proves that I’m REAL,
A great target — a gullible soul.
Posts Tagged ‘Internet Humor’
My Losing Battle With Spam (Limerick)
Saturday, May 11th, 2024A Grating Upgrade (Limerick)
Sunday, April 11th, 2021Had a four-day-long mess at my site;
Server upgrade (gone bad) caused the blight.
The encoding set wrong
Made me long for a bong.
But it’s fin’ly been fixed, bit by byte.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: PRO at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: Sept. 7, 2019)
Sunday, August 25th, 2019It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using PRO at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to INTERNET HAZARDS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best INTERNET HAZARD-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 8, 2019, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 7, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my Pro-Rhyme limerick:
You’re unlikely to earn any dough
By becoming a limerick pro.
But you might get applause
And some giggles, guffaws,
And awards, if you give it a go.
And here’s my Internet Hazard-Themed limerick:
Bought a gadget online — what a steal!
Quite expensive, yet still a great deal.
I just wish it would come;
The wait’s making me glum,
And I’m praying the seller is real.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick Ode To Internet Day (October 29)
Monday, October 29th, 2018Is the Net good or bad at its core?
For it’s frequently hard to adore.
But on “Internet Day”
All in all, I must say
That it DOES make us hard to ignore.
If It’s Too Good To Be True, It Ain’t! (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 28th, 2015Stop getting yourselves into jams
By falling for Internet scams.
If you’re lured by a post
Or an email, you’re toast.
So say bye to your bread. They’re all shams.
Limerick Ode To The Print Encyclopedia
Wednesday, March 14th, 2012The Encyclopaedia Britannica is the latest victim of the Digital Age:
Encyclopaedia Britannica Inc. announced Tuesday it will stop publishing print editions of its signature product for the first time in its 244-year history. In an acknowledgment of the shifting media landscape and the increasing reliance on digital references, the company said its current encyclopedia – the 32-volume, 129-pound 2010 edition – will be unavailable once the existing stock runs out. (If you’re interested, it’s yours for $1,395 and there are only 4,000 sets left.) The digital version of the encyclopedia, however, will live on.
This news saddened me. And it also reminded me about the obsolete, hand-me-down encyclopedia I grew up with in the Fifties and Sixties:
Limerick Ode To The Encyclopedia
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Britannicas, World Books and more
Were common in households of yore.
But not in my home—
Just a hand-me-down tome
With entries, I swear, like “World War.”
Limerick Ode To AOL’s Huffington Post Acquisition
Monday, February 7th, 2011Ode To AOL’s Huffington Post Acquisition
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Huffington Post has been bought.
In AOL’s lair it’s been caught.
Will its death there be quick,
Or will some readers stick?
And will payment for scribes remain naught?
Here’s the New York Times on the acquisition and Huffington’s announcement.
Captured By CAPTCHA
Monday, May 21st, 2007If you’ve ever registered for a site or an email list, you’re surely familiar with those frustrating anti-spam CAPTCHA forms. CAPTCHA, which is an acronym for “Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart,” generally does a really good job of blocking … me:
Captured By CAPTCHA (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The CAPTCHA form used on their site
Quickly conquered computerized blight,
Because bots can’t decode
Any image it showed.
But then neither can I—there’s my plight.
(You can find more of my technology humor here.)
A Spam Filter That Really Works Would Be Nice
Saturday, March 10th, 2007A Spam Filter That Really Works Would Be Nice (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My filters should block them, but nay!
Spam emails beset me each day,
Pushing stock, naked boys,
Drugs for sex, naughty toys—
All ad nauseam. Please, go away!
