Posts Tagged ‘Idiom Limerick’
Wednesday, December 15th, 2021
We were packed and all ready to jet
To a beachfront resort, when “Not yet,”
Said my wife. “I must go
Get my hair curled by Flo.”
Hours later: “Let’s leave. I’m all set.”
(For the record, I don’t have a wife. But I do have a procrastinating husband with no concept of time.)
Tags: Delays Humor, Delays Limerick, Hair Humor, Hair Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Time Humor, Time Limerick, Travel Humor, Travel Limerick, Vacation Humor, Vacation Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Holiday Humor, Idiom Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Physical Appearance, Procrastination Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Time Humor, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor, Vacation Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Exit Interruptus
Monday, November 22nd, 2021
The driver made such a loud fuss
Over new jitney wages, each cuss
As he bitched about pay
Could be heard blocks away…
So the man was thrown under the bus.
Tags: Argument Humor, Argument Limerick, Bus Driver Humor, Bus Driver Limerick, Bus Humor, Bus Limerick, Complaint Humor, Complaint Limerick, Cursing Humor, Cursing Limerick, Employment Humor, Employment Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Jitney Humor, Jitney Limerick, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Pay Humor, Pay Limerick, Transportation Humor, Transportation Limerick, Travel Humor, Travel Limerick, Wage Humor, Wage Limerick, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on Wage Madness (Limerick)
Saturday, November 20th, 2021
“Wet clothes in the hamper? That’s foul!”
Said a gal to her spouse, with a scowl.
“What is wrong with you men!?
If you do it again,
I’ll divorce you and throw in the towel.”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Clothes Humor, Clothes Limerick, Clothing Limerick, Cothing Humor, Divorce Humor, Divorce Limerick, Hamper Humor, Hamper Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Laundry Humor, Laundry Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Relationship Humor, Relationship Limerick, Relatives Humor, Relatives Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Clothing Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor | Comments Off on A Hampered Relationship (Limerick)
Wednesday, November 17th, 2021
An angry, sardonic young bloke
Lost his job and was utterly broke.
He tried standup, but failed
To get laughs, so he bailed.
Yelled the ‘comic,’ “You can’t take a joke!”
Tags: Comedians, Comics, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Joke Humor, Joke Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Idiom Humor | Comments Off on A Sardonic Bloke (Limerick)
Thursday, November 11th, 2021
A pissed patron returned to Pierre’s
And demanded free haircut repairs:
“Your stylist destroyed
My look. Fire Floyd!”
The reply? “Kindly stop splitting hairs.”
(Hairstylist Appreciation Day is April 25, and National Hair Day is October 1.)
Tags: April Holidays, Hair Humor, Hair Limerick, Haircut Humor, Haircut Limerick, Hairstyle Appreciation Day, Hairstylist Appreciation Day, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, National Hair Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Idiom Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on Yet Another Hairy Limerick
Wednesday, November 10th, 2021
Happy Bong Day! (November 10)
A singer who longed for a bong
(Though it’s bad for her voice and so wrong)
Called a seller she knew.
They met up at the zoo,
Where a bongload was bought for a song.
Tags: Bong Day, Bong Humor, Grass Humor, Grass Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Marijuana Humor, Marijuana Limerick, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Singer Humor, Singer Limerick, Singers
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Longing For A Bong (Limerick)
Tuesday, November 9th, 2021
The restaurateur was irate
Cuz his chef was, as usual, late.
“You must clean up your act,
Or expect to be sacked.
It’s time you step up to the plate!”
Tags: Boss Humor, Boss Limerick, Chef Humor, Chef Limerick, Cooking Humor, Cooking Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Job Loss Humor, Job Loss Limerick, Lateness Humor, Lateness Limerick, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on The Shiftless Chef (Limerick)
Tuesday, November 2nd, 2021
Bought a grandfather clock — famous brand.
(It is lauded throughout our great land.)
But the time it displays
Has been faulty for days.
That’s the last time I buy secondhand.
Tags: Clock Humor, Clock Limerick, Grandfather Clock, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Secondhand Humor, Secondhand Limerick, Secondhand Purchases, Shopping Humor, Shopping Limerick, Time Humor, Time Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Shopping Humor, Time Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Timeless Limerick
Monday, October 25th, 2021
Happy “World Opera Day!” (October 25)
“Sustaining high notes can be hard,”
Said an opera singer who starred
In Norma; she claims
That it’s not fun and games,
But a contest of wills, no holds barred.
Tags: Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Norma, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Opera Day, Opera Humor, Opera Limerick, Singers, Singing Humor, Singing Limerick, World Opera Day
Posted in Idiom Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays, Wordplay | Comments Off on Operatic Limerick
Sunday, October 24th, 2021
A gambler who lost lots of dough
On a horse race, was stunned by the blow:
“Woe is me! I’m a chump!
That damn horse took a dump
Mid-race; he was rarin’ to ‘go.'”
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Animal Limerick, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Defecation Humor, Defecation Limerick, Gambling Humor, Gambling Limerick, Gambling Verse, Horse Humor, Horse Limerick, Horse Racing, Horse Racing Humor, Horse Racing Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Race Humor, Race Limerick, Racing Humor, Racing Limerick
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Gambling & Gaming Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Wordplay | Comments Off on Woe-Ridden Gambler (Limerick)
Saturday, October 23rd, 2021
When their granddad discussed his affairs,
He declared they’d be heirs with large shares
Of investments extensive
And assets expensive.
It turns out he was putting on airs.
Tags: Heirs Humor, Heirs Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Inheritance Humor, Inheritance Limerick, Investment Humor, Investment Limerick, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Wills Humor, Wills Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Heirs Apparent (Limerick)
Thursday, October 21st, 2021
“We have lost sev’ral members, I hear,”
Said the maestro. “Some key ones, I fear.
It’s too late for auditions
To find new musicians.
I guess we must play it by ear.”
Tags: Audition Humor, Audition Limerick, Conductor Humor, Conductor Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Musician Humor, Musician Limerick, Orchestra Humor, Orchestra Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems | Comments Off on Missing Musicians (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 20th, 2021
A gal, an industrious knitter,
Showed a huge heap of knits to her sitter:
“It’s a mess, I confess.
If you sort it, dear Tess,
I shall give you the pick of the litter.”
(Worldwide Knit In Public Day is the 2nd Saturday of June.)
Tags: Crafts Humor, Hobbies Humor, Hobbies Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, June Holidays, Knits Humor, Knitting Humor, Knitwear, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Needlework Humor, Odd Holidays, Wordplay Humor, Wordplay Limerick
Posted in Hobbies Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Wordplay | 4 Comments »
Monday, October 18th, 2021
Two women, good friends, worked backstage.
Each was “dating” a man half her age:
A man on the crew.
Which one? Neither knew.
It turns out, both were on the same Page.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Secrecy Humor, Secrecy Limerick, Wordplay Humor, Wordplay Limerick
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Dating Humor, Friendship Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Secret Affairs (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 12th, 2021
At the piano the man’s an old hand;
He is one of the best in the land.
But he still has regrets
And never forgets:
Having more than one hand would be grand.
Tags: Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Piano Humor, Piano Limerick, Wordplay Humor, Wordplay Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Wordplay | Comments Off on Handy Limerick
Wednesday, October 6th, 2021
A sketch artist’s drawings were raw
And flawed, rarely gazed at with awe.
Yet he won an award
For his “Gourd With A Sword.”
Fellow artists swore: “Luck of the Draw!”
Tags: Art Award Humor, Art Humor, Art Limerick, Artist Humor, Artist Limerick, Drawings, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Sketching, Wordplay, Wordplay Humor, Wordplay Limerick
Posted in Art Humor / Verse, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Wordplay | Comments Off on Sketchy Artist (Limerick)
Monday, October 4th, 2021
Though I’m no fan of golf, I couldn’t resist writing a Golf Lovers Day limerick:
As a golfer swigged beer in a pub,
He bitched and he gobbled his grub:
“I’ve been flubbing my putts.
Being drubbed drives me nuts!”
The response to that putz? “Join the club!”
Tags: Golf Humor, Golf Limerick, Golf Lovers Day, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Sports Humor, Wordplay
Posted in Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Sports Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Happy Golf Lovers Day! (October 4) (Limerick)
Saturday, October 2nd, 2021
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BREAD or BRED at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SELF-CONTROL, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SELF-CONTROL-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on October 17, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 16, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BREAD or BRED-rhyme limerick:
A fellow with plenty of bread
Held a fete on his boat — a big spread.
Near the end of the bash
He dropped much of his cash
In the toilet. Wealth’s gone to his head.
And here’s my SELF-CONTROL-themed limerick:
I’m beginning to notice a lag in
Restraint from a pal who’s been braggin’
That he’s wholly off beer.
But I’m starting to fear
That my trucker friend fell off the wagon.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Alcohol Limerick, Beer Humor, Beer Limerick, Competition Limerick, Drink Humor, Drink Limerick, Drinking Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Party Humor, Party Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Wealth Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Language Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 205 Comments »
Monday, September 27th, 2021
A fellow I know can’t spell “sneeze;”
Also “breezes” and “freezes” and “cheese.”
Though he always tries hard,
His spelling is marred;
Triple “e’s” make the man ill at ease.
Tags: Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Spelling, Spelling Humor, Spelling Limerick, Wordplay Humor, Wordplay Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks | 1 Comment »
