Posts Tagged ‘House’

Does Your Guilt Spring Eternal?

Sunday, March 29th, 2009

Guilt Springs Eternal
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Spring has arrived. Do you feel guilty yet? If not, you apparently don’t read women’s magazines. Every March and April they’re packed with “clean up and organize your life” articles. Stories with catchy titles like Spring Into Action — Tidy Up Your House. Or Wash Away Winter Blues. Or Banish Clutter Now; Otherwise We’ll Keep Torturing You With Articles Meant to Make you Feel Like A Slothful Bum. Personally, I’d rather read Why Clean? It Will Only Get Dirty Again Tomorrow.

Why do magazines publish these pieces? Because every spring millions of women have the same Pavlovian response: Guilt. Guilt quickly followed by a spending spree on periodicals and cleaning supplies. They grab every magazine in sight and, in a fit of post-New Year’s resolution fervor, vow to Martha Stewartize their homes.

Do these articles help? Do they unlock the sacred secret of “eat off your basement floor” womanhood? Hahahahahahaha. Pardon me — I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were serious. (Guilt Springs Eternal continues here.)

The Up Side Of Winter

Friday, February 16th, 2007

Here’s another limerick about our recent New York snow and ice storm: 

The Up Side Of Winter
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Outside our abode, it ain’t nice;
There’s snow on the ground and there’s ice.
But I’m snug in my house—
Just me and my spouse
And our mouse. Leave this haven? No dice!