Brace yourself for “I Love My Dentist Day.” (June 2nd)
Limerick Ode to “I Love My Dentist Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Some holidays offer delight,
And others are likely to bite:
Love My Dentist Day’s one
That is NOT packed with fun,
So I brush the day off like a mite.
(You might also enjoy my Dental Deal and my Biting Limerick.)
And don’t forget about National Toothache Day (February 9th) and Dentists Day (March 6th.)
Cursing’s Healthy, I Swear (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
New research, Brit experts declare,
Has revealed that it’s healthy to swear.
So you damn SOBs,
No more slamming my ease
With the expletive. Carpers beware!
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who liked food that was fried…*
or
A woman shunned food that was fried…*
or
A fellow appeared to be fried…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Fried Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A young foodie shunned meals that were fried
And would constantly mock and deride
People fond of cuisine
Neither wholesome nor lean,
Right up to the moment she died.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Here’s a limerick to celebrate World No Tobacco Day. (May 31st)
Stop Smoking, Already!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Please stop smoking already. Don’t dicker.
Tobacco will end your life quicker.
Have a heart, as I air
This advice, cuz I care:
Be kind to your lungs and your ticker.
Brace yourself! I Love My Dentist Day is coming on June 2nd:
Limerick Ode to “I Love My Dentist Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It seems “I Love My Dentist Day’s” here
On June 2, but I simply can’t cheer.
Toothless days like that bite!
I can take no delight
In a guy who spurs fear with his gear.
(You might also enjoy my Dental Deal and my Biting Limerick.)
UPDATE: Happy National Toothache Day! (celebrated yearly on February 9th) And happy Dentists Day! (celebrated yearly on March 6th)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who ran a campaign…*
or
A fellow who ran a campaign…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Campaigning For Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who ran a campaign
To sell drugs that were good for the brain
Was stunned and quite pissed
At the side effect list.
She flushed pills and her job down the drain.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Fox’s medical drama House is finally coming to an end. So it’s confession time: I hate House.
In fact, I loathe all medical dramas, doctor comedies, and any other show about sick people. Why? Because the mere mention of symptoms makes me start feeling them. So if I want to avoid real life doctors, I have to stay far away from the fake ones.
House To Close Its Doors (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though it’s not my intention to grouse,
I detest doctor dramas, like House:
TV ailments and ills
Make me itch, give me chills.
WebMD, here I come — Where’s my mouse?
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who just let it slip…
or
A woman who just let it slip…
Here’s mine:
Slippery Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who just let it slip
That his wife got a tuck and a nip
Threw their marriage off course
And was sued for divorce.
Maybe next time he’ll zip up his lip.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
For those of you who visit this blog to keep up with trends, here’s the latest: High heels for men.
Trendy Men, Heal Thyselves! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
High heels worn by men on the rise?
I’m warning you guys, that ain’t wise.
It’s painful, unhealthy—
Makes foot doctors wealthy.
Spike this trend ere it reaches new highs.
Healthy Complaint (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dark choc’late, caffeine, and red wine
Might harm us, or may be just fine.
Ev’ry news item muddies
My mind with new studies.
Please make up your mind: What’s benign?
(Prompted by We Write Poems, which encouraged poets to use two prompts at once. I used health and chocolate.)
You might also enjoy my Are Health Studies Making Us Sick? and Margarine Is Good For You. Oops — Never Mind!
I had such a good time with my Clichéd Limerick the other day, I thought I’d write another:
A Fit Over Fiddles
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I hope you don’t think this a nit,
But cliché buffs should surely admit
That we need to part ways
With certain clichés:
Just how often do fiddles sound fit?
UPDATE: Happy Cliché Day, November 3rd!
UPDATE 2: World Fiddle Day falls on the Saturday closest to May 19.
Feverish hostess
serves chickpeas dropped on the floor—
a guest spills the beans.
*****
Sick party-goer
coughs and sneezes on buffet—
chilly reception.
*****
The corner bakeshop
seems a buttery temptress,
but smells can deceive.
Pastries seduce, disappoint—
buttery temptress no more.
*****
My first memory:
the sound and the vibration
of a freight train’s roar.
Budding logic says, “Can’t be.”
Sensed pre-birth within the womb?
*****
(My second haiku was inspired by Haiku Heights’ cold prompt. My first memory tanka was inspired by Free Write Fridays and Monday Memories.)
First (And Last) Visit (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m allergic to felines; I sneeze
And I tear when they’re near—then I wheeze.
So I wish you had warned
That your house is adorned
With a half-hundred cats (Siamese).
Author’s Note: This limerick is based on personal experience. Many years ago, a composer asked my chamber ensemble to rehearse at her home, so she could record a work of hers that we were getting ready to debut. I’d barely taken my oboe out of its case, when I started having trouble breathing. My attack got very bad, very quickly, and I was forced to leave without rehearsing.
I later learned that our host’s hobby was breeding cats, and that her house was packed with them. Since I’m very allergic to cats, this would have been a good thing to have been warned about.
(You can find more of my pets and animals humor here and more of my health humor here.
UPDATE: Happy National Cat Day! (October 29th)
A Biting Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Ow! My tooth aches,” a man told the nurse,
Whose answer was biting and terse:
“The Doc’s in a tizzy.
His schedule’s too busy.
Take asp’rin. Come back when it’s worse.”
(My Dental Deal, a funny dentist/patient contract, is here.)
UPDATE: Happy National Toothache Day! (celebrated yearly on February 9th) And happy Dentists Day! (celebrated yearly on March 6th)
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
