Posts Tagged ‘Health Limericks’
Friday, June 30th, 2023
Canadian smoke has returned;
Acrid remnants of forests that burned
Nowhere near New York City
Have turned our air gritty.
That stroll I attempted? Adjourned!
Tags: Canada, Forest Fires, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limericks, New York City, Outdoor Activity Humor, Outdoors Verse, Smokers Limerick
Posted in Canada, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Outdoors Humor | Comments Off on Smoky Days Are Here Again (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 21st, 2023
This headline reminded me that today (June 21) is International Day Of Yoga: “International Yoga Day: PM Modi leads celebrations at UN Headquarters in New York”.
So it’s time for yet another yoga-related limerick:
I used to do yoga most days.
It was more than a health-conscious phase.
But I did it MY way;
Certain moves were a NAY
To avoid setting bad wrists ablaze.
Tags: Exercise Humor, Health Limericks, International Day of Yoga, International Yoga Day, June Holidays, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays, PM Modi, Relaxation Humor, Sports Limerick, Stress Humor, United Nations, World Yoga Day, Yoga Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Celebrations Poetry, Celebrity Humor, Exercise Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Happy Yoga Day! (Limerick)
Monday, March 13th, 2023
An adventurous person? Hee-hee!
I’m a bit of a coward, you see.
So to physical risks,
I say “No!” All my discs
And my bones seem essential to me.
Tags: Accidents, Adventurers, Adventures Limerick, Bones Humor, Health, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limericks, Injury Humor, Injury Verse, Sports Humor, Sports Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Hobbies Humor, Limericks, Outdoors Humor, Personal, Physical Appearance, Sports Humor | 1 Comment »
Monday, January 24th, 2022
Some say Omicron cases are peaking.
Do they know that of which they are speaking?
We are all on the ropes,
So don’t lift up our hopes
Just to dash them again … cuz we’re freaking!
Tags: Anxiety Limerick, Coronavirus, Covid Vaccine, Covid-19, Health, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Health Limericks, Omicron
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Saturday, July 10th, 2021
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TALE OR TAIL OR ENTAIL OR CURTAIL at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to VANITY, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best VANITY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on July 25, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 24, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my TALE/TAIL/ENTAIL/CURTAIL-rhyme limerick:
I’ve a crime tale entailing a tail.
Who’s the target? A male out on bail.
Law enforcement, you see,
Was convinced he would flee.
But their quarry just likes a good sail.
And here’s my VANITY-themed limerick:
A fellow who’d constantly train
Did it mostly because he was vain.
He’s paid a steep price
To simply look nice:
At thirty he’s using a cane.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Crime, Crime and Punishment, Exercise, Health Limericks, Humorous Tales, Law And Order, Law Enforcement, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Men's Vanity, Poetry & Prompts, Tails Humor, Vanity, Vanity Humor, Working Out, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Exercise Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 199 Comments »
Tuesday, March 2nd, 2021
What follows is:
1: A two-verse limerick about my adventures (and difficulties) in booking Covid-19 vaccine appointments in New York City for hubby Mark and me. (And yes, we both easily qualify by age.)
2: A blow by blow description of how I finally managed to snag vaccine appointments in the doesn’t-deserve-to-be-called-a-system New York Covid-19 vaccine scheduling “system.”
(I hope that the information I provide below my 2-verse limerick proves helpful to those who are having similar vaccine-booking problems, both in and outside of New York.)
Fin’lly got my first shot. So did Mark,
After problems with booking them — stark!
New York’s issue-packed system
(too many to list ’em)
Is so bad, I have fantasies — dark.
So how did I schedule our shots
In a system so tied up in knots?
“Push notifications”
Resolved our frustrations;
We were saved by some fine Twitter bots.
If you’re having problems booking Covid-19 vaccine appointments, here’s how I did it in New York City. I hope it helps you too. (Even if you live in another state, some of my info just might be applicable to you.)
1. After trying all the obvious methods for booking vaccine appointments, and failing abysmally, I searched Google to find out if anybody had created a Covid-19 vaccine appointment locator bot in New York. I used search phrases such as covid-19 vaccine New York bot and Covid-19 vaccine New York tracker bot.
This led me to these two Twitter accounts: @turbovax and @nycshotslots. (If you are having trouble getting a vaccination appointment outside of New York, try a similar search for your own state. And if you’re lucky, a Good Samaritan in your city or state created a comparable public bot. For example, this bot was designed for New Jersey residents, and this one was set up for Massachusetts residents.)
2. I went to Twitter, searched for both accounts, and clicked on “follow.” (I was already active on Twitter. However, if you’re not already a Twitter member, you’ll have to join it before benefiting from these or other Twitter bot accounts.)
3. For the next couple of weeks, I checked those New York bot Twitter accounts three or four times an hour. And from time to time, I actually found some potential appointments. Unfortunately, however, each time I went to snag a pair of appointments, I was already too late. This happened even when I started checking every five or ten minutes.
4. Finally, in desperation, I researched how to get “push notifications” from individual Twitter accounts. (In general, I hate and avoid push notifications. But this situation called for emergency measures!)
Fortunately, setting up Twitter push notifications on my laptop turned out to be very simple: All I had to do was return to the home pages of each of those two accounts I was already following (@turbovax and @nycshotslots) and click on the icon immediately to the left of the word “following.” (The icon looks like a bell with a plus sign.) Clicking on it turns on push notifications for that specific Twitter feed, and you’ll know it’s properly set up because after clicking on it, it will turn as dark blue as your “following” indicator button.
5. From then on, as long as I was near my laptop (and the sound was on) I’d hear a sound indicating that one of those two accounts had just tweeted. Additionally a visible notice would flash, then disappear very quickly.
6. As soon as I saw or heard one of those “push notifications” I headed to Twitter to read the latest bot tweets and see if it was for appointment locations/dates that might work for us. And the second I saw one that might be good, I clicked on the site, filled out the forms, and was able to successfully book appointments for both Mark and myself.
Even then, acting so swiftly, I ended up with appointments for us on consecutive days, and not the theoretically more desirable same day. But that actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because parking was impossible at that location (Hillcrest High School, Jamaica Queens, NY.)
So Mark and I took turns on consecutive appointment days, remaining in the driver’s seat, illegally parked in front of someone’s driveway with the blinkers on, ready to move the car at a moment’s notice, for as long as it took for the non-car-baby-sitter to get his/her shot.
Mark and I are both very relieved to have gotten our first shots and to have dates scheduled for our second shots. And I hope you too either have gotten (or will soon get) your Covid vaccine shots.
I also hope that you found this info helpful or, at least, enjoyed my limerick.
*****
FYI, here’s a non-Twitter New York State-wide bot that I haven’t tried, because I discovered it after booking our appointments.
Tags: Computer Advice, Coronavirus, Covid Vaccination, Covid Vaccine, Covid Vaccine Bot, Covid-19, Health, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Health Limericks, New York, New York City, New York City Verse, Technology Advice, Technology Limerick, Twitter Verse, Vaccination Limerick, Vaccine Limerick
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Robot Humor, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor, Twitter Humor | 4 Comments »
Saturday, August 1st, 2020
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DOPE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to LOVE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best LOVE-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on August 16, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 15, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DOPE-rhyme limerick:
Wear a mask, please, and don’t be a dope.
Yes, it may be annoying, but cope.
Start now, and don’t wait;
You already are late…
And it also won’t hurt to use soap.
And here’s my LOVE-themed limerick:
“I’m in love,” said a gal to her mom.
“My boyfriend is great. He’s the bomb!”
But her mother replied:
“No, he’s conned you and lied;
He’s been featured in Sleazoids.com!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Covid-19, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Daughters Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limericks, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Love Humor, Masks Humor, Mothering Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Dating Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 223 Comments »
Sunday, May 12th, 2019
A lim’rick a day keeps away
The doctor — at least, so they say.
Well okay, I’ll concede
I invented that lede,
But it sure beats that “apple” cliché!
UPDATE: Happy Cliché Day, November 3rd!
Tags: Aphorisms, Cliché Day, Clichés, Clichés Humor, Doctor Humor, Doctor Limericks, Health, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limericks, Limerick Humor, Medical Humor, Medical Limericks, November Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Aphorisms, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, May 11th, 2016
Gals remember your trusty school nurse?
You’d tell her, “I’m sick. It’s ‘the curse.’
I have to skip gym
And lie down. All my vim
Has vamoosed and the pain’s getting worse!”
(National School Nurse Day falls on the Wednesday of National Nurse Week, which is May 6 through May 12.)
Tags: Athletics, Education & School Humor, Gym Membership, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limericks, May Holidays, Menstruation Humor, National Nurse Week, Odd Holidays, School Nurse Day
Posted in Education & School Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To The School Nurse
Wednesday, January 20th, 2016
A man who should never eat cheese,
Ignores ev’ry cough and each wheeze
That comes in reaction
And once led to traction;
He can’t hack cheese-attraction disease.
Happy National Cheese Lovers Day, which is celebrated on January 20th.
Note: National Cheese Day falls on June 4th.
Tags: Allergy Humor, Cheese Humor, Cheese Limerick, Food Humor, Food Verse, Health Limericks, January Holidays, June Holidays, National Cheese Day, National Cheese Lover's Day, Odd Holidays, Traction Humor
Posted in Allergy Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Cheesy Limerick
Saturday, June 20th, 2015
The U.N. has decreed June 21 to be International Day Of Yoga … which gives me a handy excuse to post this silly limerick:
A gal doing yoga while dressed
In a toga, when questioned, confessed
That her garb did not work—
Turned her poses berserk.
So instead of relaxed, she was stressed.
Tags: Clothing Humor, Exercise Humor, Health Limericks, International Day of Yoga, International Yoga Day, June Holidays, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays, Relaxation Humor, Stress Humor, Toga Humor, Yoga Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Celebrations Poetry, Clothing Humor, Exercise Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays, Physical Appearance | 1 Comment »
Friday, June 5th, 2015
Limerick Ode To “Female Viagra”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a “female Viagra?” Oh my!
I’ve boned up on its risks, so no-buy.
Should I need to feel horny,
The problem ain’t thorny.
No not porn! Just a flash of Mark’s thigh.
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Drug Humor, Female Viagra, Flibanserin, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limericks, Medication Humor, Meds, Sex Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To “Female Viagra”
Wednesday, May 27th, 2015
Good news for men worried about ED — coffee’s good for you:
According to new research from The University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston, men who drink the caffeine equivalent of two to three cups of coffee per day are less likely to have erectile dysfunction.
Erecting The Case For Coffee (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear men, avoid pills and injections,
Yet hold on to your manly erections:
Drinking coffee each day
Drives dysfunction away
And prevents disappointing defections.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Caffeine Humor, Coffee Drinks Humor, Coffee Verse, Drink Verse, ED, Erectile Dysfunction, Erection Humor, Health Limericks, Men's Health
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | Comments Off on Erecting The Case For Coffee (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 18th, 2015
Today, March 18, is Kick Butts Day.
Kick Butts Day Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Today is the day to kick butts.
No ifs, ands, or buts — smoking’s nuts!
For the cig rut’s a yoke
That can kill you — no joke!
So though quitting’s a drag, show some guts.
Tags: Addiction Humor, Anti-Smoking, Bad Habits Humor, Breathing Humor, Cigarettes, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limericks, Hearts, Kick Butts Day, Lungs, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, Smokers Limerick, Smoking Humor, Smoking Limerick, Tobacco
Posted in Addiction Humor, Advice Humor & Poems, Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Odd Holidays, Smoking Humor | Comments Off on Kick Butts Day Limerick
Tuesday, July 15th, 2014
Fruity Study? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though I don’t want to lead you astray,
It appears that an apple a day
Is a way to enhance
A gal’s sex life, perchance.
I’m not ribbing you. Mālum? Hooray!
According to a sex study with a rather small sample size, apples might possibly be a libido booster.
Tags: Apple Limerick, Bawdy Humor, Food Humor, Fruit Limerick, Health Limericks, Libido Humor, Medical Studies Humor, Science Humor, Science Verse, Scientific Study Humor, Sex Life Humor
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Science Humor | Comments Off on Fruity Study? (Limerick)
Saturday, July 12th, 2014
Happy National French Fries Day (July 13.)
Fried Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I am not a big fan of French fries.
I don’t find them a sight for sore eyes.
(A sore stomach, perchance.)
Belgium fries, though, entrance.
But neither is wise for one’s thighs.
Tags: Belgium Fries, Calorie Limericks, Food Humor, Food Limerick, French Fries Day, French Fry Day, Health Limericks, July Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Thursday, July 10th, 2014
Change is Good??? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My allergy’s fine while inside.
I’ve no problem when outdoors I stride.
Then I go back indoors
And my nose says, “Up yours!”
I’m attacked, and there’s no place to hide.
Tags: Allergies Humor, Allergy Humor, Allergy Limerick, Health Limericks, Outdoor Humor
Posted in Allergy Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Outdoors Humor | Comments Off on Change is Good??? (Limerick)
Sunday, June 22nd, 2014
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow with many a vice…*
or
A gal who was free with advice…*
or
A fellow had bought a device…*
or
A fellow was using a vise…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Vice
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow with many a vice
Was, needless to say, not too nice;
When warned by his doc,
He’d scorn and he’d mock.
Now he’s mournfully paying the price.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Advice Limerick, Competition Limerick, Health Limericks, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Health & Medical Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 73 Comments »
Thursday, May 22nd, 2014
A limerick about the ups and downs of going to sea, just in time for National Maritime Day:
A queasy man, drawn to the sea,
Being lured by its lore made a plea:
“I’ve an ocean trip notion,
But all of that motion!
Please doc, keep me mal de mer-free.”
Tags: Health Limericks, Mal De Mer Humor, Maritime Humor, May Holidays, National Maritime Day, Nausea Humor, Ocean Travel Humor, Odd Holidays, Sea Sickness Humor, Sea Travel Limerick, Seafaring Humor
Posted in Health Verse, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Travel Humor | Comments Off on Happy National Maritime Day! (Limerick)
Thursday, May 15th, 2014
Cursing’s Healthy, I Swear (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
New research, Brit experts declare,
Has revealed that it’s healthy to swear.
So you damn SOBs,
No more slamming my ease
With the expletive. Carpers beware!
Tags: Cursing Limerick, Expletive Humor, Foul Language, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limericks, Language Humor, Science Humor, Scientific Studies, Scientific Study Humor, Scientists Humor, Swearing Verse
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Communication Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Language Humor, Limericks, Science Humor | Comments Off on Cursing’s Healthy, I Swear (Limerick)