Posts Tagged ‘Health Limerick’
Saturday, March 9th, 2024
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SHOT or SHOTS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PICTURES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PICTURE-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
AMUSING, DOCTOR, NEUROTIC, POSTPONE, VANITY.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 7, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 6, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SHOT or SHOTS-Rhyme Limerick:
“That damn bartender’s AWOL,” said Scott
To his prep cook. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”
“Though I’ve never mixed drinks,
I can do it, methinks,
So I gladly will give it a shot.”
And here’s my Picture-Themed Limerick:
“Gotta rush to the bookshop. I’m late!
I am meeting another blind date.
And that chick better look
Like her pic, or I’ll book
It, cuz boy, am I sick of pic-bait!”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
An old woman who loved to complain,
Was neurotic and stubborn and vain.
When her doctor prescribed
Her a cane, the gal gibed:
“That will ruin my look. Where’s your brain?”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Bartender Humor, Bartender Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Beverage Humor, Blind Date Humor, Competition Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Deception Humor, Doctor Humor, Doctor Limerick, Health Humor, Health Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Vanity Humor, Vanity Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | 122 Comments »
Thursday, February 22nd, 2024
My poor stomach is tied up in knots,
Cuz I’m being assaulted by bots.
They are clogging both blogs,
Email’s gone to the dogs,
And I’m drowning in spam. (Hence the trots.)
Tags: Blogging Humor, Blogging Limerick, Bot Humor, Bot Limerick, Computer Humor, Computer Limerick, Digestion Humor, Digestion Limerick, Email Humor, Email Limerick, Health Humor, Health Limerick, Spam Humor, Spam Limerick, Technology Humor, Technology Limerick
Posted in Blogging Humor, Computer Humor, Email Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Robot Humor, Spam Humor, Technology Humor | Comments Off on Bot Attack (Limerick)
Monday, December 25th, 2023
Said the patient, “My broken arm itches.
It hurts me and frequently twitches.
So take off this cast!
Do it now! Do it fast!”
Said the doc with a laugh, “I’m in stitches.”
Tags: Arm Casts, Broken Arm, Cast Humor, Doctor Humor, Doctor Limerick, Health Humor, Health Limerick, Medical Humor, Medical Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | Comments Off on The Difficult Patient (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 4th, 2023
I sometimes feel hearty and hale,
And at other times, dauntingly frail.
When the latter takes hold,
I feel achy and old
And have droll thoughts like “maybe try kale.”
(National Kale Day falls on the first Wednesday of October.)
Tags: Aging Humor, Aging Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Health Humor, Health Limerick, Kale Day, Kale Humor, Kale Limerick, National Kale Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Vegetables Humor, Vegetables Limerick
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Droll Thoughts (Limerick)
Friday, June 2nd, 2023
My knees are at last on the mend.
They even (reluctantly) bend.
Are they trek-worthy? No!
But they’ll go to and fro
Sev’ral blocks. (Just don’t make them ascend!)
Tags: Health, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Knee Limerick, Knees, Walking Humor, Walking Limerick
Posted in Exercise Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Walking Humor | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, July 5th, 2022
A young lass liked a fellow a lot,
But his anti-vax views were a blot.
So she thwarted his pass
When she grasped that, alas,
He would never give vaxes a shot.
Tags: Date Humor, Date Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Love Humor, Love Limerick, Political Arguments, Political Humor, Romance Humor, Romancing Limerick, Vaccine Humor, Vaccine Limerick, Vax Humor, Vax Limerick
Posted in Dating Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Romance Humor | 1 Comment »
Monday, May 30th, 2022
Who hasn’t discovered a gap
Where you once had a crown or a cap?
Then you search high and low.
Where the hell did it go?
If you’re lucky, it fell in your lap.
But more likely, it’s gone or destroyed;
Need a new one to fill that damn void.
You’re apparently fucked;
That doc you have ducked
For years must, alas, be employed.
Tags: Dental Humor, Dental Limerick, Dentist Humor, Dentist Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Teeth Humor, Teeth Limerick, Tooth Humor, Tooth Limerick
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, April 26th, 2022
Although her great-uncle was old,
He still loved to play sports; he was bold
And he gave it his all
When he lunged for a ball.
He’d but ONE worry: Catching a cold!
Tags: Age Humor, Age Limerick, Aging Humor & Verse, Aging Limerick, Cold Humor, Cold Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Sports Humor, Sports Limerick
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Outdoors Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Sports Humor | Comments Off on An Age-Old Story (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 5th, 2022
Her boyfriend insists that she’s “jerky”
For falling for health warnings “murky.”
He has coaxed and opined,
But he can’t change her mind:
She’s swearing off poultry “cold turkey.”
Tags: Chicken Humor, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Diet Humor, Diet Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Poultry Humor, Poultry Limerick
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on A Healthy Disagreement (Limerick)
Saturday, April 2nd, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using NOSE or KNOWS or NOES at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SECURITY, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SECURITY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 17, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 16, 2022, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my NOSE or KNOWS or NOES-rhyme limerick:
A fellow named Joe often goes
To ENT docs — nasal pros.
Those rhinologists charge
Pricey fees; bills so large
That poor Joe’s forced to pay through the nose.
And here’s my SECURITY-themed limerick:
Though the homebuilder does know the score,
His computer security’s poor.
So to no one’s surprise,
He’s been hacked. You’ll surmise:
Someone readily found the back door.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Computer Humor, Computer Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Nose Humor, Nose Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Security Humor, Security Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Contests, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, House & Home Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Technology Humor | 171 Comments »
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2022
A man did his best to disguise
His retinal issues with lies.
When at last he sought ocular
Aid, he was jocular:
“Doc, you’re a sight for sore eyes!”
(March 23 is World Optometry Day.)
Tags: Eye Humor, Eye Limerick, Eyes Humor, Eyes Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, Optometrist, Optometry Day, Optometry Humor, Optometry Limerick, Patients Humor, Patients Limerick, Vision Humor, Vision Limerick
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Vision Humor | 1 Comment »
Saturday, March 12th, 2022
I’ve been told to “Spring forward!” Can’t do!
With my knees? Are you kidding? I’m through:
No more jumping and running
And springing! I’m shunning
Such acts. You mean “clock movement?” Whew!
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Aging Limerick, Clocks Limerick, Daylight Saving Time, Daylight Savings Time, DST, DST Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Holiday Poetry, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, SpringForward, SpringForwardDay, Standard Time, Time Humor, Time Verse
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Seasons Humor, Time Humor | Comments Off on An Age Old Protest (Limerick)
Saturday, March 5th, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using STRAIN at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to LINES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best LINES-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on March 20, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 19, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my STRAIN-rhyme limerick:
Friends were hoping to fly to Port Blair
To visit some relatives there.
But the new Covid strain
Has them worried again,
So their plans are all up in the air.
And here’s my LINES-themed limerick:
Here’s something that makes me see red:
A rest’rant with only one head.
Long lines for the john
While we’re eating? Come on!
I’m fed up! We’ll dine elsewhere instead.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bathrooms Humor, Bathrooms Limerick, Competition Limerick, Covid Humor, Dining Humor, Dining Limerick, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Limerick, Flying Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Lines Humor, Lines Limerick, Plans Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Port Blair Humor, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick, Travel Humor, Travel Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 178 Comments »
Monday, January 24th, 2022
Some say Omicron cases are peaking.
Do they know that of which they are speaking?
We are all on the ropes,
So don’t lift up our hopes
Just to dash them again … cuz we’re freaking!
Tags: Anxiety Limerick, Coronavirus, Covid Vaccine, Covid-19, Health, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Health Limericks, Omicron
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Saturday, December 18th, 2021
This limerick would, alas, be timely, even if today (December 18) weren’t “World Knot Tying Day.”
A woman was tied up in knots
Over Covid. She feared for her tots.
Said her husband, “No vax!
I’d rather eat wax!”
In their fam’ly, the dolt calls the shots.
Tags: Covid Humor, Covid Limerick, December Holidays, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Knots Humor, Knots Limerick, Knotting Tying Day, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Odd Holidays
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Tied Up In Knots (Limerick)
Saturday, October 23rd, 2021
To mix, or to match — I’m confused:
Which booster vaccine should be used?
More Moderna? Some Pfizer?
I need an adviser!
By which shot should my shoulder be bruised?
Tags: Booster Shot, Covid Limerick, Covid Pandemic, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Medical Humor, Medical Limerick, Moderna Vaccine, Pandemic, Pfizer Vaccine, Vaccine Humor, Vaccine Limerick
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | Comments Off on To Mix, Or To Match; That Is The Question (Limerick)
Friday, October 22nd, 2021
Celebrate “National Knee Day?” Not me!
Say “hip, hip, hooray!” cuz it’s Knee Day?
I don’t find it a Fills-Me-With-Glee day.
Any “climb those stairs” stance
Makes my knees look askance,
So it’s more of a Please-Function-Plea day.
Tags: Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Knee Day, Limbs Humor, Limbs Limerick, National Knee Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Not Kneeling For “Knee Day” (Limerick) (October 22)
Friday, October 8th, 2021
“World Egg Day” has given me an excuse to write this limerick rant:
“Do NOT eat the yolks of your eggs!”
“Just the egg whites,” they said – (the egg-dregs.)
Now such counsel’s passé
Re cholesterol. Yay!
All those egg lies no longer have legs.
Tags: Cholesterol, Egg Humor, Egg Limerick, Egg Whites, Egg Yolks, Food Humor, Food Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, World Egg Day
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Egg Myths (Limerick)
Monday, August 30th, 2021
“Here’s some gossip I’ve only just heard:
Jane’s engaged to a writerly nerd,
Who’s a Scrabble fanatic
And rather asthmatic.
It’s a secret, so don’t breathe a word.”
Tags: Gossip Humor, Gossip Limerick, Gossip Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Nerds, Scrabble, Secrets, Writers
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Breathless Gossip (Limerick)
Tuesday, March 2nd, 2021
What follows is:
1: A two-verse limerick about my adventures (and difficulties) in booking Covid-19 vaccine appointments in New York City for hubby Mark and me. (And yes, we both easily qualify by age.)
2: A blow by blow description of how I finally managed to snag vaccine appointments in the doesn’t-deserve-to-be-called-a-system New York Covid-19 vaccine scheduling “system.”
(I hope that the information I provide below my 2-verse limerick proves helpful to those who are having similar vaccine-booking problems, both in and outside of New York.)
Fin’lly got my first shot. So did Mark,
After problems with booking them — stark!
New York’s issue-packed system
(too many to list ’em)
Is so bad, I have fantasies — dark.
So how did I schedule our shots
In a system so tied up in knots?
“Push notifications”
Resolved our frustrations;
We were saved by some fine Twitter bots.
If you’re having problems booking Covid-19 vaccine appointments, here’s how I did it in New York City. I hope it helps you too. (Even if you live in another state, some of my info just might be applicable to you.)
1. After trying all the obvious methods for booking vaccine appointments, and failing abysmally, I searched Google to find out if anybody had created a Covid-19 vaccine appointment locator bot in New York. I used search phrases such as covid-19 vaccine New York bot and Covid-19 vaccine New York tracker bot.
This led me to these two Twitter accounts: @turbovax and @nycshotslots. (If you are having trouble getting a vaccination appointment outside of New York, try a similar search for your own state. And if you’re lucky, a Good Samaritan in your city or state created a comparable public bot. For example, this bot was designed for New Jersey residents, and this one was set up for Massachusetts residents.)
2. I went to Twitter, searched for both accounts, and clicked on “follow.” (I was already active on Twitter. However, if you’re not already a Twitter member, you’ll have to join it before benefiting from these or other Twitter bot accounts.)
3. For the next couple of weeks, I checked those New York bot Twitter accounts three or four times an hour. And from time to time, I actually found some potential appointments. Unfortunately, however, each time I went to snag a pair of appointments, I was already too late. This happened even when I started checking every five or ten minutes.
4. Finally, in desperation, I researched how to get “push notifications” from individual Twitter accounts. (In general, I hate and avoid push notifications. But this situation called for emergency measures!)
Fortunately, setting up Twitter push notifications on my laptop turned out to be very simple: All I had to do was return to the home pages of each of those two accounts I was already following (@turbovax and @nycshotslots) and click on the icon immediately to the left of the word “following.” (The icon looks like a bell with a plus sign.) Clicking on it turns on push notifications for that specific Twitter feed, and you’ll know it’s properly set up because after clicking on it, it will turn as dark blue as your “following” indicator button.
5. From then on, as long as I was near my laptop (and the sound was on) I’d hear a sound indicating that one of those two accounts had just tweeted. Additionally a visible notice would flash, then disappear very quickly.
6. As soon as I saw or heard one of those “push notifications” I headed to Twitter to read the latest bot tweets and see if it was for appointment locations/dates that might work for us. And the second I saw one that might be good, I clicked on the site, filled out the forms, and was able to successfully book appointments for both Mark and myself.
Even then, acting so swiftly, I ended up with appointments for us on consecutive days, and not the theoretically more desirable same day. But that actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because parking was impossible at that location (Hillcrest High School, Jamaica Queens, NY.)
So Mark and I took turns on consecutive appointment days, remaining in the driver’s seat, illegally parked in front of someone’s driveway with the blinkers on, ready to move the car at a moment’s notice, for as long as it took for the non-car-baby-sitter to get his/her shot.
Mark and I are both very relieved to have gotten our first shots and to have dates scheduled for our second shots. And I hope you too either have gotten (or will soon get) your Covid vaccine shots.
I also hope that you found this info helpful or, at least, enjoyed my limerick.
*****
FYI, here’s a non-Twitter New York State-wide bot that I haven’t tried, because I discovered it after booking our appointments.
Tags: Computer Advice, Coronavirus, Covid Vaccination, Covid Vaccine, Covid Vaccine Bot, Covid-19, Health, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Health Limericks, New York, New York City, New York City Verse, Technology Advice, Technology Limerick, Twitter Verse, Vaccination Limerick, Vaccine Limerick
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Robot Humor, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor, Twitter Humor | 4 Comments »