I went gray at a premature age,
But embraced it and hoped to look sage.
For a lawyer sans penis
Back then? Mars v. Venus!
Young, female, and short — NOT the rage!
Posts Tagged ‘Hair Humor’
A Hairy Tale (Limerick)
Friday, April 19th, 2024A Weird Duet (Haiku and Limerick)
Tuesday, November 22nd, 2022I was inspired to write both a limerick and a haiku when encountering the #weird prompt in Mastodon:
When weirdness prevails,
invading lives ev’ry day,
is weirdness still weird?
and
Dear hubby, you look rather weird;
Can’t get used to your black and white beard.
A chin that’s hair-free —
What sheer joy that would be!
So how ’bout it? Let’s get your face sheared!
Exit Interruptus
Wednesday, December 15th, 2021We were packed and all ready to jet
To a beachfront resort, when “Not yet,”
Said my wife. “I must go
Get my hair curled by Flo.”
Hours later: “Let’s leave. I’m all set.”
(For the record, I don’t have a wife. But I do have a procrastinating husband with no concept of time.)
Limerick Ode To Bad Hair
Wednesday, December 8th, 2021Oy! December 8 is “Bad Hair Day!”
“Bad Hair Day’s” today. It’s displeasin’
When your hair appears strangled by teasin’,
Or looks dry and yet oily;
Behaving disloyally!
I’m tempted to cite mine for treason.
Yet Another Hairy Limerick
Thursday, November 11th, 2021A pissed patron returned to Pierre’s
And demanded free haircut repairs:
“Your stylist destroyed
My look. Fire Floyd!”
The reply? “Kindly stop splitting hairs.”
(Hairstylist Appreciation Day is April 25, and National Hair Day is October 1.)
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: MAIN or MANE or MAINE or DOMAIN at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: Feb. 13, 2021 )
Saturday, January 30th, 2021It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using MAIN or MANE or MAINE or DOMAIN at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BILLS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BILLS-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on February 14, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 13, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my MAIN/MANE/MAINE/DOMAIN-rhyme limerick:
A wicked young woman from Maine
Had a mane that was dyed “pink champagne.”
Her name was Rosé
“No not ‘Rose,'” she would say
With disdain, being prickly and vain.
And here’s my BILLS-themed limerick:
The hall had a lovely array
Of flowers on fragrant display.
But the bride wasn’t pleased,
“I’m allergic,” she wheezed.
“If I’m dead, don’t expect me to pay.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
There Are Hugs … and There Are HUGS Limerick)
Thursday, January 21st, 2016Just in time for National Hugging Day:
In a nightmare, she’s mauled by a bear,
As she fitfully sleeps on her chair.
But the truth makes her grouse;
She’d been hugged by her spouse.
“You scared me,” she says. “You need Nair!”
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: Hair or Hare at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5
Saturday, January 31st, 2015It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either “hair” or “hare” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s are my two limericks, one for “hair” and one for “hare.”
When a man lost a race by a hair,
He objected: “I won. It’s not fair!
Both my feet got there first.
But it seems that I’m cursed
Cuz I’m bald. Just his mane beat me there.”
and
A woman had offered to share
A meal with her boyfriend — roast hare.
He responded, “Not funny!
It looks like my bunny.”
Then he fled to she doesn’t know where.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Trim Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
Saturday, September 27th, 2014It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow liked gals who were trim…*
or
A woman went in for a trim…*
or
A fellow was trying to trim…*
or
A woman was painting the trim…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Trim Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When a woman who needed a trim
Cut her hair rather short on a whim,
Her spouse baldly sued
For divorce, using rude,
Snippy grounds: “She resembles a ‘him.'”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Bald Limerick
Friday, September 13th, 2013Happy “Bald Is Beautiful Day.” (September 13)
Bald Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A hot woman was very enthralled
With a man who was totally bald.
It wasn’t his smarts
Or his charm or his parts,
But the central AC he’d installed.
Update: Air Conditioning Appreciation days run from July 3 to August 15.
Forlorn Limerick
Thursday, July 11th, 2013Forlorn Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman was feeling forlorn
About having her curly locks shorn,
But was warned if her goal
Was a porno film role,
Her pubes must be fully forsworn.
Hairy Art (Limerick)
Thursday, May 2nd, 2013Hairy Art
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though some artists make art out of rubble,
Only one went to hairier trouble:
He sculpted (I swear)
His sculpture from hair:
An artwork from one speck of stubble.
Its minuteness is way off the chart.
Want to view it? A microscope’s smart.
I don’t mean to be gruff,
But is weirdness enough?
This speck-sculpture’s too fine to be art.
*****
You can read about and see a photo of Willard Wigan’s stubble sculpture here. As the article explains:
Willard Wigan hollowed out a spec of face hair and used a miniscule flake of gold to create the tiny motorbike artwork.
Visible only through a microscope, the chopper — which measures three microns — is smaller than a human blood cell.
Belated Apology
Tuesday, March 13th, 2007Belated Apology
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Your apology’s rather belated,”
Said the gal to a fellow she hated.
“Your delay makes me fear
That it isn’t sincere—
You still had your hair when we dated!”
*****
UPDATE: October 14 is Be Bald And Free Day.
