Poets United prompts us to write about chocolate:
Chocolate Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear candy shop, leave out the filling.
Those rich, creamy innards ain’t thrilling.
I like choc’late that’s pure.
Milk or dark? Both allure.
Must I choose? Okay, dark gets top billing.
Update: Happy National Chocolate Day: October 28th!
I’m always looking for fun ways to jumpstart my muse. A new favorite is this Serendipitous Oxymoron writing prompt generator over at the Writing Fix. Just a couple of clicks can pair you up with an amusing or thought-provoking oxymoron. For instance, today it gave me “Tasty Tragedy,” which inspired this limerick:
Tasty Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The baker delivered his cake,
As the bride yelled, “I’ve made a mistake!”
She canceled her vows.
But that cake sure got wows,
As the wedding turned into a wake.
UPDATE: November 26th is National Cake Day.
Squeezing three specific words into a limerick can be a daunting challenge. But Three Word Wednesday wants poems using cleanse, knead, and melt. Its wish is my command:
Half-Baked Housewife
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m lousy at baking and kneading
And the same goes for cooking and feeding.
I melt when I cleanse
And it gives me the bends.
Am I awful at housework? Conceding.
Did you know that today, March 25th, is International Waffle Day? Me neither. And if you feel compelled to celebrate waffles twice each year, National Waffle Day and the waffle iron patent are celebrated on August 24th.
So why am I telling you this? Because I’m obediently rising to the challenge of writing a poem about breakfast. And I stumbled upon all this waffle nonsense while doing some poetic procrastination.
*****
Ode to Breakfast
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Oatmeal breaks my fast
when I arise,
though it tastes like paste
in breakfast guise.
Why not something else
I don’t despise?
Cuz I hate each choice
those chefs devise.
Waffles, eggs, French toast
grits — some may prize.
But hot oatmeal’s quick.
So enough with the “whys.”
*****
While I’m at it, here’s a haiku about my favorite morning (and afternoon and pretty much all day) beverage:
Coffee never tempts,
but denied cappuccino
then call me verklempt.
*****
UPDATE: October 29 is National Oatmeal Day.
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman was on a campaign…
Here’s mine:
Healthy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman was on a campaign
Which was driving her fam’ly insane.
Yes, her new “smart health” diet
Kept causing a riot:
Each dinner she served featured brain.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Lately, I’ve been having lots of fun with Big Tent’s poetry prompts. Its latest prompt asks us to write a poem about fruit or to pen some other food-related poetry. My Fruity Limerick is only partially true … and I leave it to you to guess which part.
Fruity Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s exceedingly little dispute
That it’s healthy to eat lots of fruit.
I don’t eat much. My reason?
The very short season
Of fruits I enjoy in a flute.
(I have lots more food humor here.)
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man was enjoying dessert…
Here’s mine:
Unappetizing Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man was enjoying dessert
When he spotted a large spec of dirt.
He just flicked it away
And kept eating. Oy vey!
It touched down on his date’s new silk shirt.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
I can’t let Thanksgiving go by without writing a limerick. Or maybe I can. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure it’s my duty as an American citizen to post this while there’s still time to save yourselves:
Limerick Ode To Thanksgiving
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Whatever you’re planning to eat
This Thanksgiving, I hope it’s a treat.
Whether stuffing and turkey
Or something more quirky,
Here’s hoping it doesn’t repeat.
Can’t Stomach This Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was feeling quite queasy,
And he blamed his five eggs over easy.
He complained to the chef,
Who yelled out for a ref,
And now both men are queasy and wheezy.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who was known for his buns…
Here’s mine:
Hot Crossed Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who was known for his buns
Attracted most gals — even nuns.
How those dames would delight
In his ass oh so tight,
Ignoring his poor half-baked puns.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Update — Note: I will soon start announcing these Limerick-Offs via private email instead of FB messaging, because FB group messaging anti-spam policies are making it very difficult for me to send legitimate messages out to groups of twenty. (My Facebook Straits recounts just some of my difficulties with FB’s anti-spam controls.)
So if you’d like to receive private email notices letting you know I’ve posted a new Limerick-Off first line, please send me a private email to MadKane@MadKane.com with the subject line “Limerick-Off Announcement Request.” Thanks very much!
For many years, Cooking With Jazz in Whitestone, Queens, New York was one of our favorite restaurants. Then, suddenly, it was gone.
Several years went by, and hubby Mark and I had just about given up on ever getting good New Orleans food again, short of flying to Louisiana. And then, the unimaginable happened — a postcard arrived announcing that Cooking With Jazz had reopened, this time in Jamaica Estates, Queens.
Oh joy!
Within days we were dining at the new Cooking With Jazz, and it’s even better than we remembered.
And so, a limerick in honor of chef-owner Steve and the wonderful Cooking With Jazz restaurant:
Cooking With Jazz (Limerick Review)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a Cajun oasis in Queens
With authentic cuisine, New Orleans,
And the Creole pizzazz
At Cooking With Jazz
Surely rivals all Big Easy scenes.
Like so many people in New York City (and the Northeast in general) hubby Mark and I have been besieged by snow storms this winter. And we’ve also lost a chunk of our electric power.
The good news is Con Ed, our power company, was very responsive. The bad news is Con Ed says the problem is ours. And electricians, always elusive creatures around here, are harder to hire than ever.
Oh well — at least our computer lines work.
Unenlightened (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A part of our power is dead,
And the problem is ours, says Con Ed.
Electricians are busy.
(The storm’s caused a tizzy.)
But the phone works. At least we’ll be fed.
Related Post: Ode To Takeout (to be sung to My Favorite Things)
Today I’ve decided to have some homonym fun and I hope you will too. I’ve written two haiku about meat and a limerick using the word meet. First, my limerick:
Whenever I meet someone new,
I use memory tricks till I’m blue.
But it’s always the same —
I forget ev’ry name
Right away — hope they blank mine out too.
And now my two meat haiku (senryu):
Jews who keep kosher
Have anti-pig-meat bias:
“Don’t reform!” say pigs.
I can’t understand
Those who oppose beef-eating,
Except, perhaps, cows.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse using the homonyms meet and meat, or some other pair of homonyms if you prefer. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky.
Update: I added a second haiku, after commenter Stan Ski correctly pointed out that my cow haiku was about meat, but didn’t include the word meat.
Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
| 1. Elephant Small 2. Random short stories |
3. The Mane Point 4. Nickers and Ink |
5. kouji (haiku poem blog) |
UPDATE 2: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your homonym verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
Some Dishy Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“We’re discussing our favorite dish,”
Said the gal. “Please chime in if you wish.”
“You mean Paris and Trump
And that singer’s big rump?”
“Oh my no, sir! Our topic is fish.”
(You can find more of my food and drink limericks and humor here and my Donald Trump humor here.)
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
